He remarried in 2003 and set up his POA , will, med directive in 2012 for me to carry out. He found out she gives money to 3 of her 4 sons. He has been diagnosised with Lewy Body Dementia. He has delusions of people stealing his money, cars, can't drive, etc. He is mad at me for not letting him drive, neurologist info, other POA advisement and medical concerns. The spouse also has memory issues and has given the wrong meds. Most importantly, she wants control and not with anyone else; Except her family-she calls.
All his money has now been combined and leaves this with nothing for our family to use for his care, since it is in joint and other undisclosed accounts.
This has occurred since the doctor wrote that he was unable to make these decisions. Now, she has not corrected his misunderstandings and untrue statements that have kept my father upset. This helped their plan to get his signature on those documents.
How can I charges pressed for elder exploitation? All parties knowingly took him to the bank and an attorney with full knowledge of his level of cognition.
How can an attorney be held accountable for not knowing something and acting on what he perceives incorrectly?
If the family attorney "grades on the curve" and allows this to occur, then this would appear to be conflict of interest?
The 2 sons that have been with her, have everything to gain and with her dementia beginning my father's money will not be available for us to use for his care if we were to go to court and attempt to get guardianship.
8 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Sounds to me like your father might have thrown a wobbly over your (perfectly correct, I don't doubt) management of his affairs and demanded to be taken to an attorney. When were these changes made? Have you had any civil conversations with the step family members since?
Best wishes!!
ADVERTISEMENT
My brother had already a diagnosis of "probably early Lewy's Dementia" when he asked me to become his POA, the Trustee of his Trust, and to manage all his financial care. In fact the diagnosis, and his fully understanding what was coming for him is WHY he wanted me to take over.
He was still able to understand what he was doing and his lawyer with me sitting there said things such as "Do you fully realize that this gives your Sister control of ALL your finances; she can SELL THE GOLD OUT OF YOUR TEETH". He examined him for understanding.
So dependent on how Dad did, the POA could have been changed and about the only way you can move now is with YOUR OWN attorney to open a case for guardianship. And to see if this other attorney was shown the papers of your Dad's being unable to make these decisions.
This is going to get complicated. It requires a lawyer and will be a mess and an expensive mess at that. You need the advice of an attorney to see if you even wish to move forward or if you are willing to write off your Dad's care to this family. If your father has enough competency to say in court to a judge that he wants his wife and family to be his guardian, then you will likely lose and having spent about 10,000 in the fight. I am sorry you are going through this.
I went to an eldercare attorney for information prior to my care of Dad and was told I had everything to protect him before these things happened so do your homework and check multiple sources. Also check the specific banks for their business rules within their company. They said lawyers don't mention that part. When I investigated the banking incident, I was told it was their policy to approve withdrawal based on senior laws.
Since we were advised we had nothing left to do but go to court to recover his money and protect being able to make sure his medical care was met -most
important to carry out what he wanted done before LBD was more pronounced.
Current---We have gone to court for Guardianship and Conservatorship and won. We found out other things. It was like going through a messy divorce to get the power to take care of my dad and find where his money went to provide for his medical expenses. I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone -but I couldn't let this go without trying to get my dad the safety and financial resources back for care that he earned. No regrets regardless. Now time to move forward and keep the marriage together and her children from doing any further damage. He is doing as well as can be expected with LBD 2nd year.
we are following up with DA also for the information to be shared with this having elements of timing and things we found with care which came up in court.
If he was declared incompetent prior to evil step-mother taking him to change his will, you definitely have a case to try to get everything done at that appointment should be null and void. I would contact someone in your state gov't ASAP and get the ball rolling on that one.
A friend of mine had a similar situation. When FIL was pretty old (75?), he remarried. Then she got sick. Her family was trying to make HIM pay for her nursing home stay though she had plenty of her own money sitting in the bank. Ugly situation. Some people are just so stinkin' greedy and don't care about right and wrong. They got FIL to divorce her to protect his assets. Why can't people just be good and do what's right? I know, I'm such a Pollyanna sometimes.
Good luck straightening out this mess.
If there is not much of an inheritance, I would just let it go and not deal with her.
Certainly you can contact the DA office as MJ1929 suggests below. And it sounds as though from your other post that APS has already been somewhat involved about medications. And you can contact your own attorney with all your information. I doubt you will be able to afford a long court case for guardianship which is what this will amount to, and if you do not win such a case then the court costs will not be paid.
Your father, unfortunately, married again. A Lawyer need not prove to himself that the person for whom he is doing papers is perfect and has no diagnosis at all of dementia, as long as he can prove that he felt/feels that when the papers were signed his examination proved to his intellectual satisfaction that your father KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING in giving these powers to your mother.
Of course it is up now to the place where your stepmother places your father to pursue payment, and assets. Your stepmother will be able to keep some assets for herself, and will have to pay for care out of your father's and her joint assets ongoing.
We I you I would consider myself WELL OUT OF THIS MESS. If your Father once trusted you and wanted you to handle things that appears not to be the case now. The best you may be able to do is to get legal guardianship given to the State, and you may want to consider asking for that, with the claim that the family is now involved in elder abuse and taking your father's money. You may win. More likely you may not, and it depends upon what kind of money you would like to sink in to this.
For myself I would waltz away from the money, and once he no longer knows who I am nor appreciates my visits, from Dad as well.
This happens more often than not with second marriages, and it is very sad. It puts a parent in last years torn between wife and children.