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lgwink Asked January 2020

Looking for asst living for dad with dementia, but was told his inappropriate comments may disqualify him. Where do we go?

He doesn't need memory unit.

gemmab123 Jan 2020
Inappropriate behavior is a fairly common symptom of dementia. If your dad is denied care because of that you should contact the agency that licenses ALs and SNFs in your locale and report the facility that told you that.

NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2020
Has your dad been formally diagnosed by a geriatric psychiatrist at any time to determine what would be the most suitable environment for him? Or a recommendation for medication?
lgwink Jan 2020
Yes and no. Dr said AL facility but not (yet) needing a memory unit and gave him a couple of prescriptions. No other recommendation.

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lealonnie1 Jan 2020
If your dad has dementia & is making 'inappropriate comments', then why do you feel he doesn't need a memory care ALF? Assisted Living, in general, is looking for people who don't need TOO much care or TOO much attention, and who can basically take minimal care ie: medication administration, help with some ADLs, and things of that nature. A memory care unit, on the other hand, is agreeable to taking a person with A LOT more needs, both physical AND mental. My mother is a good example. Last year at 92, she came down with pneumonia and went to rehab after a stay in the hospital. She became wheelchair bound due to neuropathy, and it was time (2 years too late, actually) so the need for extra physical assistance COMBINED with her moderate dementia made her no longer viable for the ALF she'd been living at for 5 years but a perfect candidate for their Memory Care annex.

Anyone with dementia in general is a better candidate for Memory Care than for straight up Assisted Living because dementia is a disease of progression. Things can go south VERY quickly, and then the ALF would no longer be able to accommodate him, and you'd be scrambling to find him other living arrangements.

For what it's worth, my mother started out as the resident in Memory Care with the least dementia and issues, and now, 8 months later, is having more & more issues to where she fits in perfectly. If she were to start cussing or making inappropriate comments, she'd be just fine staying where she is and I wouldn't be worried that I'd be getting a call from the Exec Director telling me to find alternate placement for her!!

My suggestion is to find him an ALF which also has Memory Care, if you absolutely refuse to place him in straight up Memory Care. Then he can segue from the AL portion into the MC section as needed. In any event, the facility will do an evaluation of your dad to determine where THEY feel he belongs.

Best of luck!
lgwink Jan 2020
The doctor who made the assessment recommended AL, saying he didn't need a memory unit yet. Inappropriate words are rare, but.. it happens. Biggest problem is forgetting how to drive home (which is no longer a problem since keys taken away). Concerned for what's ahead though. AL with a memory care upgrade seemed best option for the future possibility
againx100 Jan 2020
Inappropriate comments?

If a person can't get accepted into AL, then I guess the next level is a nursing home, in the regular unit until/if he needs to be in the memory care unit. In AL, they need to be able to do a lot for themselves.

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