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careforelders Asked October 2019

How to prevent severe bed wetting at night?

How to prevent bed wetting at night for my mother-in-law in my home? She refuses to wear adult diaper, extra absorbent depends doesn't work. It's great that she likes to drink water at night, but we wash her bed linens daily. We're also trying to prevent the entire first floor level smells with urine.

careforelders Oct 2019
Hi Daughter1930. I have purchased several cleaning solutions for odor control. I have recently started using 2 washable pads and 1 disposable pads every night. And luckily she has agreed to wear the over night diaper. It does not hold everything in but it certain does not wed the bed linens with all the pads under her. Her room is also not as bad any longer. But she can't wear the depends anymore. She can't pull them up anyway and has poor absorbent feature.

careforelders Oct 2019
Hi Daughter1930. I have purchased several cleaning solutions for odor control. I have recently started using 2 washable pads and 1 disposable pads every night. And luckily she has agreed to wear the over night diaper. It does not hold everything in but it doesn't completely wet the bed linens due to all the pads underneath her. Her room is also not as bad any longer. But she can't wear the depends anymore. She can't put them up anyway and not a good absorbent.

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Countrymouse Oct 2019
Crikey - I wondered if your MIL had become diabetic (constant thirst, constantly needing to urinate) but looking at your profile that's only one problem among quite the shopping list!

How well controlled are all of her various conditions?
Is she able to mobilise at all? - does she ever use the toilet, could she use a bedside commode?
How has the stroke affected her?
What mattress protectors and bed pads are you using?

I tend to agree with the other posters that the "refuses to wear adult diaper" is hard to have patience with; but I'd go for more of a "well, let's try this Top Quality Brand and see" approach than a "my house my rules" approach. I definitely agree: don't call it a diaper! Night-time continence care is the polite phrase, I believe; and I suspect they're a great deal more comfortable than your MIL imagines. They've certainly got to be more comfortable than waking up in a sodden, smelly bed!
Daughterof1930 Oct 2019
CM, good thought about a bedside commode. My dad has the lovely look of a portable urinal on his nightstand. I’ve often daydreamed of planting flowers in it 😜 but he does use it in addition to wearing overnight incontinence briefs. As for calling them diapers, as much as we’ve used other terms, dad insists on saying diapers so I guess we’ve joined him
Ahmijoy Oct 2019
I agree. She needs to wear adult incontinence briefs. Don’t call them “diapers” to her face. She has no choice. This is your home and she needs to follow your rules. Have your husband lay down the law to her in a kind but firm way. Explain that there is no shame in wearing them. But tell her the house smells of urine and people notice it when they come to visit.
careforelders Oct 2019
Thank you Ahmijoy. It's been very difficult to talk to her about some changes that need to be done while living with us. She was used to her own ways while living with her other son before moving in with us. She finds it very offensive and disrespectful. God knows, I need this group to vent when needed. But all we're trying to do is maintain a good environment for her and for us all. My daughter who is 6 years old does not want to come near her because of the strong urine odor.  We have discussed with my daughter to try to be understanding, caring, loving. But how does a 6 yo comprehend all of this?
polarbear Oct 2019
My recommendation is to cut down the sodium in here food so she doesn't get thirsty then drinks too much water in the evening. This won't stop her from peeing at night, but at least she won't pee as much.

I agree with Daughter1930. She has to wear diaper. Right now, it's just pee. What happens when she begins to lose her bowel control and starts pooping in bed? Yuck!!!
careforelders Oct 2019
OMG! We already had several incidents about the BM.  We have learned not to give her what she asks for even if she gets mad because we're the ones who will clean her up.

I like the reduce sodium intake idea. We'll definitely try that. We also told her to limit the water intake after 7 PM and she gets so upset that we're preventing her to drink water. We told her she can drink lots of water during the day but need to limit it at night since she could not get up on her to use the bathroom at night.
Daughterof1930 Oct 2019
She has to wear adult overnight diapers of some kind, no choice about it. Also has to sleep on a bed liner that’s waterproof. And stop the water and any other liquids after an early dinner. There’s a product available at home improvement stores like Home Depot that removes urine odor, OdoBan. She’s not going to stop wetting, she probably isn’t able to change that, you need better tools to cope with it

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