My 78-year-old mom has relapsed. Should we take her car keys away or wait for the doctor to do it?

Yes by all means ground her before she kills someone. Take the distributor cap off her car and lock it up.

To avoid a big confrontation you can easily disable the car by disabling her key. Either switch the key for one made for another car, same make and model, or if there are multiple keys have a notch ground off of her key.

Hard for me to imagine why you need to ask. Do it.

Take the car keys. When our father refused to give up the car keys, we disabled the car, knowing he would not have the money to fix. For your mother's safety and the safety of others - you need to do whatever necessary to stop your mother's driving.

Take the car keys and the spares!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This no joke. you cannot afford to have her kill someone else. It could ruin you! YOU!!!!!!!! You will be held responsible for some aspect of it. Trust us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes for my sake, my family, the neighbor, and all innocent people take her keys away!

Take the keys.

If you wait for the doctor to do it - and she kills someone while driving - could you live with yourself if you didn't take the keys?

Yes, take the keys asap. I took mother's keys away (she has dementia) and behind my back she had the car towed to the dealership to get a new set made! Luckily dealership got wise and called me as they figured something was up. Dealership also said they'd get in touch with me if this ever happened again or she ever called them about anything - they're used to the elderly pulling this crap and are happy to tip-off the caregiver (how cool of them). After that I also disabled the car, too. Once the dust settled from this little shenanegan she fessed-up and told me that once she got the new keys she was planning on driving behind my back. Anyway, alcoholics are resourceful so take those keys away and disable the car. Good luck!

You can take her keys. If you don't want to spend a fortune on other transportation options, you can install a breathalyzer on the ignition. It won't start if your mom doesn't pass. Skip the expense of the therapist - send your mom to AA meetings EVERY DAY for 90-120 days.  Require she get a paper signed at every meeting to prove she was there. It's cheaper than therapy and less expensive. Alcoholics can lie to therapists but AA members will know she is lying and this will help her. She should have a sponsor that is working the steps with her. This solution is forced by our county's Drug Court and it's more effective than a therapist.  We often have people who attend meetings and need their paperwork signed.  Columns should be Topic of Meeting, Member signature, phone number.

I haven't done this (in my role as caregiver for my Mom, YET), but a caregiver support group told me that you call DMV and they will send paperwork to insist she come in or lose privileges. These other ideas are great! Just thought I'd let you know this helps for dementia patients who don't wish to face their failing memory issues.
I would quietly do the car disabling, key cut change AND contact DMV. So sorry to hear your family is going through this AGAIN. I hope she survives to recover again. 🙏
I'm not sure you can FORCE AA recovery on someone and achieve results.  I have the disease and it's a personal battle UNTIL disaster/tragedy makes it court ordered (thankfully I'm in the program and doing the steps, but it's hard to do while being a caregiver for a loved one who just doesn't drive and chooses to stay ill), so hopefully your family can take the steps above to stop the DRIVING.  I'd love to know where breathalyzers dont cost a fortune, too (install fee$, monthly fee$).   The previous tactics to stop the DRIVING are great.  Stopping the DISEASE is much more challenging if the person is choosing denial (more common than you think).  Internal emotional pain AND the disease is very serious.  They say on Intervention that chemical dependency is a "family disease", so you must handle it as a family.  Great question - sending hugs to your family