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vbaby74 Asked January 2017

How to help my father (78) who was recently diagnosed with stomach cancer to make the right treatment decision?

He has an ulcer and is anemic. He was treated for blood loss, but his RBC and hemoglobin are low. He is not experiencing any pain and lives independently to date. The oncologist has eliminated surgery as an option due to his age and that it appears to have spread to other areas of the stomach and would not be curative. She is recommending chemo (FOLFOX) for 12 weeks and says he may be able to participate in an immunotherapy study. I want to help him make the right decision about treatment. Right now he is strong and managing extremely well on his own, with some help from his children. I worry that the treatment will take all of that away and the tradeoff will be he has more time but spends it all in hospitals and home fighting off side effects and infection. Any suggestions on questions I should ask or things to consider are appreciated. Feeling a bit lost right now. Thanks

vbaby74 Jan 2017
The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind. After further consulting with his primary doctor, my father decided to start chemo (FOLFOX) with a targeted therapy. The recommendation is to go low & slow, not aggressively --to try to slow the spread of the disease. Hoping he will tolerate the treatment well and can continue his normal routine. Expect we are not the first ones on this merry go round, so would love to hear from others.

Sunnygirl1 Jan 2017
Thanks for your update on your situation. It sounds like your dad and the family have given it much thought. I hope the medical team is able to support him in keeping him comfortable.

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vbaby74 Jan 2017
Thank you Sunnygirl1 for the response. After some family discussions with my father, it is clear his preference is to not opt for chemo. We are going to meet with doctors to finalize decision. I am now very focused on looking at alternative treatments to slow the progression of the cancer and make him as comfortable as possible for as long as possible.

If anyone has experience with alternative treatments or palliative care, I would be very open to hearing what that was like for you and what you know.

Sunnygirl1 Jan 2017
I'm sorry to hear your news. It's good you are there to help and support your dad. I bet that means so much to him.

I'm afraid that I don't have much experience with the condition that he has nor treatments. I hope some here will be able to offer you some suggestions.

I suppose that I would have a frank discussion with the doctor about what the treatment would involve and how it would make his days uncomfortable AND how he could stop treatment, if it was intolerable.

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