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Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Thanks for this article. My wife of 46 years developed Parkinson's disease in 2002 and was diagnosed with Parkinson's psychosis about 3 years ago. In the very beginning of the psychosis she was experiencing elaborate delusions which included seeing me as several different men in some kind of a work environment located in our home. Since then, and after receiving treatment with various meds, she only has issues "seeing" me. She has no trouble knowing our kids, grandkids, or our extended families including my family (her in-laws). I am grateful that it's just me she has trouble seeing or knowing, but it's extremely frustrating for me and her as well. I've been searching for answers for these issues and your article on Capgras syndrome has exactly described my situation. I also found a lot of similarities for our challenges in Lewy Body Dementia, which I know is similar to Parkinson's dementia. Anyway, thanks again for the article and if there are any tips or tricks I can use, please let me know. It's good to know that other people are facing some of the same challenges we're facing.
My 83 year old husband thinks I leave the house at night. He calls me Mom and wcants Mom to help him find me (Carolyn) He panics and looks everywhere, trunk of car, in closets, under the sink, weird places and gets angry if I tell him I am Carolyn and would not leave him. I don't know how to handle the situation!
From 1993 for 6-1/2 years when I was POA/guarduan for my aunt with alcohol dementia, she thought I was my mom (my mom was her 2-year-old elder sister). My mom wanted to correct my aunt's reality, but it was so much more pleasant and relaxing to just go along with it.
I had to "fight" my mom on this issue for a while and just opted to keep them apart so there was no explaining to do.
Eventually when I did get them together, my mother would still be the big sister and try to tell my aunt what to do (they were both nearing 80 at this time). My aunt thought that my mother was just a friend of mine. My mom finally "got it".
At my mother's house one time, when she tried to tell my aunt to do something, my aunt said, "I don't have to listen to you - - you're nothing to me!"
My mom responded, "Well, you're here in my house, under my roof, and you DO have to do what I say!"
Thank you for your assistance. I will attempt to use your suggestions to maintain a relationship with my wife as long as i can. It is apparent you do know the anxiety it has caused me to loose the love of my wife of 53 years.
What is it when your Mother 89, makes up stories? Dead cousins grandchildren visiting from foreign countries, dog pooping in neighbors yard & neighbor complaining. Running over to apologize, and turns out it never happened.
even if a demented elder cant make a hit on your facial features , they can recognize you by your body language , actions and your nature . consistency is important if you want the elder to trust you . ive been face blind most of my life . i recognize shapes , voice and posture .
Thank you for sharing this. My Dad had times when he would think I was one of my sisters or sometimes a stranger. He made my brother show him his drivers license when he came to care for him one day. I am not sure if it was Capgras but it was still so difficult and happened literally overnight. One day fine the next day he fell and broke his hip and never came back to himself after surgery.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Capgras Syndrome: How to Cope with a Loved One's Delusions
I had to "fight" my mom on this issue for a while and just opted to keep them apart so there was no explaining to do.
Eventually when I did get them together, my mother would still be the big sister and try to tell my aunt what to do (they were both nearing 80 at this time). My aunt thought that my mother was just a friend of mine. My mom finally "got it".
At my mother's house one time, when she tried to tell my aunt to do something, my aunt said, "I don't have to listen to you - - you're nothing to me!"
My mom responded, "Well, you're here in my house, under my roof, and you DO have to do what I say!"
And my aunt just said, "Oh, ok." ... and did it.
Hahahahaha...much easier.
consistency is important if you want the elder to trust you .
ive been face blind most of my life . i recognize shapes , voice and posture .