Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I think a rally is a final gift. How I would for my husband to experience this. He has not been able to speak since he was diagnosed with FTD six years ago. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
Carol - thank you for the extremely helpful articles you write. You are amazing. Sadly, I'm not having the Hallmark moment these other posters are. I belong in the "dying abusive narcissistic elder parent" forum, and this parent was supposed to go a week to a month after her initial diagnosis, and here we are 18 months later. She covets her home and independence more than anyone or anything, pushes away anyone who tries to help her (as this would mean a loss of control), and remains extremely manipulative to get what she wants. It looked bad 6 months ago, so I came, and my "nursing" got her back on her feet for another 6 months. Here we are again, at Christmas, and the woman who abandoned me among other things said she was dying, effectively coercing me to leave my kids 2,000 miles away so I could help her again. She went so far as to ask hospice to bring a walker, bedside commode, and oxygen (none have been used). She is ill, but when I realized the enjoyment she was experiencing for getting me to come, I let her know that I would be leaving soon, and she was welcome to join me in my home, or go to a nursing home - wow. Previously bedridden, she got up, went up and down the stairs a few times, tried to psychoanalyze me (suddenly her "brain fog" lifted) and announced that she was perfectly fine to stay in her home alone. I'm so mad. Tomorrow is Christmas and even if I got in my car and started driving right now I wouldn't get home fast enough. So many thoughts in my head about how this demonstrates why coveting things is evil, combined with my need to "honor my mother" and be a better daughter than she ever was a mother, and the conflicting emotions of anger, guilt, shame, and honestly, wish that she would just die already. Clearly I lack the courage to just put her in an nursing home and say buh-bye, which is what I would direct any sane person to do in this situation. My kids are wonderful and very secure, very happy with their dad and all their relatives so me missing them is selfish on my part. But I love them and miss them so much, and feel like such a fool for believing my horrible mother and burdening everyone so that I can be here now instead. My husband is stationed in South America and found a way to come back and stay home with our kids. Yes she is enjoying that we aren't spending time together. She has no one else, as my only brother is caring for his dying wife, and she never did anything for anyone else. I have wondered if she dies in her sleep tonight if I will feel guilty and the answer is no, I will be relieved. Unfortunately I don't expect this to happen and I will have to put my Courage suit on and do what I should have done months ago. Merry Christmas.
Pretty much every single person in my life who has died, from the time I was born 34 years ago to now...EVERYONE...has died from cancer. Family members, friends...every single dog I've ever had...cancer. It's been a constant in my life and a word that's been a part of my daily vocabulary and routines since I was 4 years old.
I have seen, firsthand, this "rally" and it truly is remarkable. Days before my grandfather succumbed to cancer, we were all having dinner together as a family, and he was as spry, light-hearted and fun as he ever was. By the next evening he was suffering and we had to call hospice to take him.
A month ago I put my dog down. She had just turned 7 and was suffering from a form of cancer called Mast Cell Tumors. It was ultra-aggressive...from not being there to all of a sudden being stage 3 (equivalent of stage 4 in a human) in the span of a month. The day before she suffered her fatal rupture, she was a blast...playful, spunky, cuddly...everything she was before she was diagnosed and then some! The next day her tumor ruptured and I had to rush her to the emergency vet, where they told me they had to put her down.
Whether it is sheer will, the human (or animal) spirit or some other cosmic force or scientific anomaly that is yet to be explained, I have seen with my own eyes the complete shutdown and defeat of cancer for at least a day, where the afflicted suddenly have overwhelming strength of will as if the cancer is not even there.
Yes, I saw this with my mom. August 6th was my mom's birthday. She was in the nursing home and having her favorite birthday cake. She was very happy and talkative! I thought she was going to get better. Then, two days later, she went to hospital with UTI, pneumonia and blood pressure issued. About week later, she died on August 16th.
Thank you SO MUCH for posting this. This happened to my mother some nine months before she passed, but most cancer forums only talk about post-treatment fatigue. My father said this was a surge of energy resulting from recovery from chemotherapy fatigue, but now I'm getting the sense that it's more a sign that the patient is critical. Wish I'd known that then. :(
(4)
Report
Success!
One of our advisors will contact you soon to connect you with trusted sources for care in your area.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
7 Comments
First Oldest
First
When Loved Ones Rally Before Death
I have seen, firsthand, this "rally" and it truly is remarkable. Days before my grandfather succumbed to cancer, we were all having dinner together as a family, and he was as spry, light-hearted and fun as he ever was. By the next evening he was suffering and we had to call hospice to take him.
A month ago I put my dog down. She had just turned 7 and was suffering from a form of cancer called Mast Cell Tumors. It was ultra-aggressive...from not being there to all of a sudden being stage 3 (equivalent of stage 4 in a human) in the span of a month. The day before she suffered her fatal rupture, she was a blast...playful, spunky, cuddly...everything she was before she was diagnosed and then some! The next day her tumor ruptured and I had to rush her to the emergency vet, where they told me they had to put her down.
Whether it is sheer will, the human (or animal) spirit or some other cosmic force or scientific anomaly that is yet to be explained, I have seen with my own eyes the complete shutdown and defeat of cancer for at least a day, where the afflicted suddenly have overwhelming strength of will as if the cancer is not even there.
Thank you for posting this.