My father was in tears today. He hasn’t been feeling 100%. Today, he went over his funeral arrangements (again). My mother died 6 months ago. She had dementia, but otherwise healthy. Everyone has always assumed Dad would pass first—since his heath is more fragile (cardiovascular). Needless to say, her death was a surprise to all. She went from healthy to what seemed a bad cold to death within a week or so. My dad has heard of these stories and is realizing he is “at the 6 month mark”. It is almost as if he is fearing that he will go “any minute”. As lovely/romantic as these stories are…I feel badly that my dad is burdened with this narrative. We had a good talk today. He has a strong faith and knows his life is in God’s hands…and this narrative is not everyone’s reality.
I became a widow at 59. We were married for 35 years - very very happily married. My husband and I owned a business and worked side by side all those years. Our's was a wonderful love story. When Bill died - after a truly awful cancer battle - I was lost and just wanted to be with him - did not want to live without him. The day after his funeral, I woke up in severe pain - total back spasm. (Like a leg cramp - every single muscle in my body). Non stop. No relief. The ER doctor told me that I had been functioning with very high levels of adrenaline throughout my husbands final months. Also, dehydrated during that time (you don't even think about yourself when the love of your life is suffering).
After his funeral -my surging adrenaline stopped suddenly - causing a violent reaction - full back spasm. Laying in the hospital in pain I really wanted to go and be with Bill. But I saw pain in our dear children's eyes......they didn't need me to add to their grief. At 59, I recovered quickly. But I was amazed at how violently my body reacted to sweet Bill's death. Grief is emotional torture but there's physical issues too. I've always been super healthy.......... but losing Bill took me right down - flat on my back. I adored my husband...............nobody should think that our's wasn't a fabulous marriage because I'm still here. It's in the Good Lord's hands.
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Why So Many Long-Married Couples Die Close Together
We were married for 35 years - very very happily married. My husband and I owned a business and worked side by side all those years. Our's was a wonderful love story. When Bill died - after a truly awful cancer battle - I was lost and just wanted to be with him - did not want to live without him. The day after his funeral, I woke up in severe pain - total back spasm. (Like a leg cramp - every single muscle in my body). Non stop. No relief. The ER doctor told me that I had been functioning with very high levels of adrenaline throughout my husbands final months. Also, dehydrated during that time (you don't even think about yourself when the love of your life is suffering).
After his funeral -my surging adrenaline stopped suddenly - causing a violent reaction - full back spasm.
Laying in the hospital in pain I really wanted to go and be with Bill.
But I saw pain in our dear children's eyes......they didn't need me to add to their grief.
At 59, I recovered quickly. But I was amazed at how violently my body reacted to sweet Bill's death. Grief is emotional torture but there's physical issues too.
I've always been super healthy.......... but losing Bill took me right down - flat on my back.
I adored my husband...............nobody should think that our's wasn't a fabulous marriage because I'm still here. It's in the Good Lord's hands.