Chimonger - we dilute mom's whiskey with a little over half water. We buy her a brand with a dark brown bottle so that she can not see the color is too light.

Life I know that..LOL I just worry one of them will fall and break something. Mom weighs 85 soaking wet, so it doesn't take much to get her drunk

There is medical detox available. Ask your doctor about it. They would be in a hospital. For a serious alcoholic, cold turkey can bring on seizures. Medical treatment through detox is best. Good luck. Been there.

dear pamzimmerrr...two glasses of any type of alcohol every night is FINE!! alcoholics drink 2 bottles of wine every night!! did those two 85 yr old's have fun? lol hope so....they deserve it!!

My mother also drinks port wine ( very high alcohol content) and has 2 glasses a night. We put it over ice, lots of ice! Her Dr's say it's good for her, and allowed it while she was in rehab for pneumonia. My Aunt drinks bourbon.. we just got back from a trip to Texas for a family reunion.. and they added in margaritas.. Boy oh boy... Nothing like 2 drunk 85 years old for entertainment! But they both have calmed down since we got home. It scares me to death!

I find this very heart-warming and lucky for Charlie who has such a great friend who was willing to walk the extra mile to help him. - Age with Charm,

Love how some have succeeded in swapping out NA 'wine' for their elder's favored wines, and the elder has been unaware or takes to it so well...it really does have to become "their idea" if they are to continue...some minds might have to turn it around to being their idea, even if the caregiver started it.
HOW can that be used, for elders hooked on hard alcohol, like Vodka, Brandy or Whiskey? Is there a non-alcohol version of those? Or a flavoring that could be used to make it seem like it? Has anyone tried using Kombucha [for it's probiotics], which also has a slight alcohol content, and flavored that with Brandy flavoring or something?

I hate alcohol. As a child, on Christmas Eve, my mom had to go find my dad at his watering hole. I believe it must have stopped as I do recall more wonderful Christmas Eves. For me, I know I should not drink. Alcoholism is a family affair. If you have a parent with this disease, you must be cautious. When I drink, I know what it does to me and I don't like it. I cannot drink wine as it is like 100% sugar to me. I am hypogycemic and could easily become an alcoholic. Knowing this, I must stay away from any alcohol. I do use Burgundy in my sauces. Life is too short and I don't choose to die from liver damage and have that on my death certificate.

Keep on trying! I was trying to get a friend to drink less, even though there were no apparent problems, because he is diabetic. I started by getting him to use smaller glasses for wine, and that helped. I also was clear that I would not be around him or even talk to him by phone if he was drinking scotch because of his argumentative behavior on scotch. He was doing better and eating a little with his wine. However, I did not realize how bad his diabetes was. He tended to brush it off and forgot his medication at times. Too much wine and irregular medication caused him to have a stroke, and his independence is gone forever. Obviously that doesn't happen to everyone, but falls can rob an elder of independence just as much. I heartily applaud every means you can devise to help a loved one deal with such a harmful addiction. I do think that elders who live alone are more at risk, so maybe we need to add another item to our checklist for monitoring a loved one's socialization as well as his or her alcohol intake. A glass of wine with a loved one is a lovely way to visit, but make the visit the priority and not the wine.

There is an alcohol free wine
Called Fre
I think it's by Sutterhome
My clients daughter weaned her mom from too much Chardonnay with it
Best of luck 😊

Let him drink! Dad started with Port wine, which is what he and mom had for their whole married life, nearly 60 years, and then changed to hard cider. The last month, dad could not drink. Naz doaovia! Salud!

Thank you, Lifeexperiences - youre very encouraging.

Oh...maybe insurance will cover REHAB! Of course, that's always a goooood option!

People that have had life long drinking problems...and have not gotten sober, will continue to be abusive to themselves and others. It's extremely sad when they are elderly, and they can really hurt themselves. But unfortunately, unless you have them in a house where they can't get to a bottle, you are not going to be able to control much of anything. Not all alcoholics are abusive...but if they are...boy are they!!! Anyway...AA's pearls of wisdom from all those who have walked thru that door...ultimately an alcoholic...will wind up mentally ill, in jail or dead. I'm certainly not judging anyone...but...if you do have a family member that is having a lot of problems...please do yourself a favor and go to Alanon...and find out how best to deal with the problem. It's amazing what you can learn from listening to the families of alcoholics...and it's amazing that most don't even know they are completely enabling the alcoholic? Anyway...life?

It makes it a little more difficult than that when they cannot think clearly enough to know the affects and damage. I certainly do not think I can give my mother (the "drunk" with Alzheimers) an ultimatum. I do not intend to sound offended, it is just a fact of my life.

That is what Alanon tells you to do with a "drunk!" You do have to protect yourself and your family by a drunk's behavior. Good for you!

Any subject on drinking catches my eye. But what "life experience" said about being so different made me want to tell this story. My mom was a drunk, and yes, that's the word I want to use. After marriage and having children, I finally said to my mom, who could barely get out of the car that, No, you're not welcomed here when you are drinking. My kids had the best Mom Mom and Pop Pop you could have wanted for them. They have such great memories of them compared to what I have. But I am so glad they loved their grandkids enough to not drink around them.

Dear Marlis,
Been there and feel your love and pain. I had to do the same thing when my husband was drinking 2 to 3 bottles a day. I started to wean him off by adding some Fre Wine. It is alcohole free and it taste just like wine. I buy the chardannay and the red and mix half regular wine with the Fre wine and he can't tell the difference. Some times after we have been out and he has a regular glass of wine I give him the Fre before bed and he doesn't even know. Make sure you start with small amounts of the Fre.

Good Luck and don't give up.

When my divorced (at age 36) mom with bipolar mental illness was younger, until about age 85, she wanted to socialize at the local bar. She drove herself to the bar until about age 80, then I always drove her over there. She used to buy two martinis but then cut it to one by age 85, then started lite beer at age 88 because of heart problems requiring medication. During her declining health after age 90, she finally stopped going to the bar but insisted she had to have a bottle of red wine in her room to help her sleep at night. I guess at least one glass was consumed most nights. This continued until Mom was 93 and one morning she tried to put the wine bottle back in her closet, causing her to fall when she pushed the door to close it.! Mom had to moved into a nursing home and never returned home because her bones were fragile from osteoporosis.

As I said, elders unknowingly become addicts....whether it be RX pills or alcohol they use to dull their pain. My own cousin didn't even realize that her mother was hooked on Darvon.

Unfortunately out diagnosis was too late. You have t catch it VERY early to reverse any of the affects. :(

Based on my experience the medical community has little desire or capacity to deal with this issue. I can't blame them in some ways, since it is self-destructive behavior, however, there are other self-destructive behaviors such as smoking and poor diet that seem to have a better chance of getting addressed and the patient being provided some help and remedy.

Loreal, I hope you got a timely diagnosis and prompt advice as to the advisability of alcohol abstinence. My husband's diagnosis was a 4+ year process, involving numerous lesser Wernicke's episodes, wherein we were merely told he had a "thiamin deficiency" and were advised to give him a vita B1 supplement. It was only during the second serious encephalopathy hospitalization that we any suggestion was made that he should abstain from alcohol altogether. What an education it has been!

SWOMBO - that is what my mom has.

In AA, the saying is ... if you don't get sober you are facing, incarceration, insanity or death. Pretty much covers the outcome of alcoholics...

SWOMBO, thanks for sharing your story. I'm aware of those conditions from my research. Kudos to you for dealing with your husband. I think my dad has some of those issues going on and has done some permanent damage. Most people only think of liver damage with excessive alcohol, but there is so much more. My dad's biggest fear was to get some sort of dementia, and now he has self-inflicted a level of damage due to heavy alcohol use.

There is an actual form of dementia that is caused by alcohol abuse - Korsakoff's Psychosis. And it goes hand-in-hand with another condition - Wenicke's Encephalopathy, a serious altered consciousness state resulting from thiamin depletion. Together these conditions are referred to as Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome, and my husband has it. He's been hospitalized twice with very serious episodes of Wernicke's, and although the Korsakoff's has improved slightly with more than 18 months of virtual alcohol abstinence, it will probably not resolve much more. Too much brain damage from all the years of abuse. Although there will always be confusion, disorientation, and confabulation, at least I no longer deal with blackouts, incontinence and lack of physical coordination.

its worth a try!

For me, my parents are in it to get bombed so diluted alcohol will be detected quickly.

O'Doul's is another great option, for the beer drinkers out there. We just had "grandma" down to no beers at all (alcohol makes her mean and increases the restlessness, for sure), when her "flying monkey" son decided to buy her a case of Stella Artois, because she needs "the very best." Aargh! No BEER honey, remember. So aggravating that he can't see the result. We are so much better without any alcohol; in truth, she doesn't miss it. Still, he orders her a pint any time we go out to dinner with her, leaving her tipsy and complaining and difficult to handle. I try to go with apple juice or lemonade, d*mn the sugar....it's better than the drink.