Mom and I just returned home from the Swank Institute, where Mom has declined from an MMSE of 21 to 14 in just 6 months. Reading your beautiful tribute brought me to bittersweet tears. Thank you for putting into words what my heart has always known. Thank you for reminding me, today, why I do everything I can to make each and every day a happy one for the woman who has always made me her whole world. Thank you for letting me know that she remains, albeit most often mute, in a body that works with a brain that is letting her down. Just, thank you.
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So beautifully written. I cared for my Mom and as I see signs I fear how my daughter may feel. You have guided me today to put things in proper order to not be a burden to her. But Mom never was to me. Caring for her was an honor and a final gift to me. I love you Mom.... always and forever
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Thank You, Michelle:

You have put into words all the things I have felt. I am making a copy of this letter to give to my Daughter. I will not add names or where it came from to protect privacy. But it is something I know needs to be shared. Having been Mother's Caretaker for years and then having to put her into Assisted/Memory Care it really defines the reasons.

Having felt quilt about it, your words have given me a great understanding as to why I will not let me daughter go through what I did.

God Bless you for this loving heartfelt letter.
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Michelle, absolutely beautiful lovely tribute to your Mom as I read it with tears. I could have almost written it to my own dear Mother who just passed this January from Alzheimer’s/dementia.

May you have a blessed Mother's Day and remember the love you and your mom shared lies within you.🌹
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Thank you Michelle for the gentle beauty of your words. My grandma passed away from it and my mom had it too, she left us last September. I know you cherish every moment with your mom while she is here. Love...
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Thank you for sharing such a beautiful tribute to your mom, I’m in tears but it was a good cry.

God bless you!

Happy Mother’s Day to all those courageous moms out there❤️
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How precious! How beautiful! Thank you for sharing!
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Love this
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Michele,

Thank you for your post and for sharing in your mom's love to the end!

Anny
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It is truly hard my mother has dementia and shes in a nursing home i go every night to put her to bed.Your poem touched my heart.
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Wow! What a beautiful expression of a mother's love. I could fully relate to all of it except for the part of having a daughter - I have two sons. It brought a tear to my eye as I thought of what I too went through with my mom. Thank you so much for sharing that beautiful letter with all of us. God bless all mothers out there and all those with loving moms.
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Wow ~ Michele's letter brings tears to my eyes and my heart. May God continually bless her and her loved ones. Vicariously i can feel that love ~ but so very often the mood swings get in the way and obscure the lovely Mom i know and still deeply love. Happy Mother's Day everyone ~ even if you have no children, certainly, you've nurtured others along the way. "Some people are with us for a season, some for a reason, and some for a lifetime." i wish i could recall the author's name, but i'm tired... blessings to you.... crickets
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Micheledesocio,
Yes. Each person is on a journey, during which we find many adventures which set us up to make choices. We can choose good, bad, or indifferent responses to whatever life tosses our way. We can choose to involve ourselves, even if it's not necessary. Or we can walk away. There are valid reasons for choosing each, depending on the individual's knowledge, experience, awareness.
If it weren't for those experiencing tough adventures of being sick, old, in need of care, etc. various hardships...others would not get the chance to have the experience of choosing to contribute, and in what ways, for instance.
We are all One, like fingers on a glove that have forgotten they are not alone.
We work to take acre of each other the best ways we know how.
If we cannot manage caretaking our parent[s], we find others we can help where we are, maybe.
Love is The Constant, the strongest power in all of creation--it is creation itself; which is why to strive to manifest that as best we can. And there will be some who cannot see that, no matter what one does....it's important to keep trying, the best one can.
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Chimonger I believe we caregivers are also on a journey. It's the hardest thing we will ever do. It takes time to learn to separate our Lo's from the disease. It's a constant state of grief, and like grieving we come to a place of acceptance. Once we finally get there it's like a weight lifted. We know it's the disease causing the anger and frustrations. At this time we learn to live in their world because they can no longer live in ours. The one constant is love , love never leaves, it's not a memory, it a feeling never to be forgotten.
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This is a very touching tribute!
It is so hard to separate the behaviors/illness from the person, as they sneak in and stealthily steal away the real person, who is still often still stuck inside, unable to communicate properly, or string thoughts together. Or their emotions get the better of them, and they lash out in their own fear.
We can still love them.
No matter what and always, a person who is sick, in any way, at any time, is not their genuine self; it can lead to behaviors that make them difficult and sometimes impossible to be around.
We can still love them.
And that loving them may have to take a different path than we originally planned or thought.
And we can still love them.
What we can forgive, is our own inability to cope with whatever it is, to allow us to do the best we can for our loved ones. Sometimes that takes very different turns than expected.
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Nancydunbar123 , thank you dear one.. Please feel free to share anything I post. Happy Mother's Day!
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Love this poem letter! I too have a mom with Alzheimer's. Its a terrible disease. This describes our relationship to a t !
I would like to share this if I may. It brought me to tears.
From one daughter to another...happy mothers day!!! God bless!
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Thank you Ladypamelade! I agree so many caregivers resent their LO's instead of resenting the disease. Mom was 58 and its 16 years later... Your husband was blessed to have a loving wife who understood it's not their fault, how important it is to find moments of joy while you still can on this journey. God Bless and yes, Happy Mother!s Day to all!
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Absolutely beautiful and how appropriate with Mother's Day tomorrow. How blessed you both were to have each other. I wish I'd had a mother like yours. Bless you for loving her and comforting her and letting her know she isn't a burden and that you care for her gladly. How thoughtful and loving she was to opt for a nursing home rather than have you and your family cope with a situation that only gets worse. This letter certainly made my day. Thank you Michele.

So many letters here show so much resentment and anger against the mother or father who has alzheimers. Being a caregiver is the hardest job it is but the parent you're taking care of would never have chosen to get this terrible disease. You wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy. It's not their fault; their behavior is not their fault. They can't undo mistakes and hurts in the past any more than you can. I was a caregiver for my husband for 11 years and I know what I'm saying. Try to find moments of humor, go for a drive into the country and inhale the fragrances of the grasses, flowers and blooming trees. Sit on a bench with the person you're taking care of and look at a lake or river, at the birds and water fowl. Find something beautiful to expand your spirit. Happy Mother's Day everyone!
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