Concerning the fear of dying or simply death. For myself I do fear death. Who knows what is truth? So many religions and not all can be correct. I have CHF, and other health problems, and could die at any time myself. Yet, I want to live as death is final, and if the Christian religion is correct, I will be in hell. Having spent many years searching for truth, I left the Christian religion. Due to many reasons I never converted to Judaism which i feel is more truth than any other. So, here I am in bad health fearing dying. Death is final and no one alive knows what happens at death. I will say I believe in G-d, the one true G-d. Yet, fear death. So, as long as I can stay alive, I will never sign a form to give permission to end my life.
Each moment we have in this life is precious, even in pain I cherish my life. Before you end someone's life think about eternity, if they were evil in this life where do you think they will spend eternity? Tell those you love that you love them daily, for no one knows when life ends. Shalom

PRETTY AWESOME!

Dear Michele, While my own mom doesn't have dementia, I was very moved by your story. My mom also went to a strict catholic school and has told us many stories like the one you included about your mom and the ruler. It sounds like fear was a huge part of the discipline back then! Knowing that your mom would take comfort on some level if she could visit with a priest, it was a kind thing for you to do for her to arrange the visit. Not giving up when it became difficult to find someone shows what a caring daughter you are. I think it's important for those of us acting as care givers to remember that the wishes of the person we care for are important. Trying to fulfill h wishes to the best of your abilities was a very kind and generous act.

MY DAD WAS ANTHIEST. HE WASN'T WHEN HE DIED....I GOT LOTS OFMESSAGES FROM HIM AFTER HE PASSED. HE WAS WITH ME FOR A VERY LONG TIME. GOD BLESS, THEY CAN BE FORGIVEN AFTER DEATH....I STILL TALK WITH HIM... IT'S GREAT.

Scott Hahn has written a beautiful book entitled: Signs of Life: 40 Catholic Customs and Their Biblical Roots.

Sacraments are meant to give comfort which is exactly what they did in this case. I wish I could get my mother, a lapsed Catholic, to even talk about death. For some reason, she seems to have no interest in learning about God and his son, Jesus Christ, even though she was raised a Catholic. She has never shown even the least bit of curiosity. I, on the other hand, am totally immersed in the concept of God, reading about religions, etc. I swear, I'm not her daughter :)

Mom is 76 and when she thought she was going die a year or so ago she asked me "what if I go to hell?" I asked her what she thought she did to make her think she was going to h*ll. She just shrugged her shoulders. I then told her "Why would God forgive you your sins and then send you to hell?" Her reply was "I hadn't looked at it that way". This was before her dementia/Alz got bad enough that she could still semi understand the conversation. It was my hope that the statement I made would ease her concerns about dying. She never mentioned it again. Best wishes.

My mother, with advanced Alzheimers is not so much afraid of dying as she is not ready to die. There is a difference.

On Friday nights the family all come here for Shabbat dinner and though my mother has forgotten almost everything else, she still sings the prayers beautifully.

Mmmm not sure about this but i was raised catholic and am not afraid of death? Normally we are led to believe this is a new life etc......... maybe she has alot of regrets i know my mum has? Maybe ask her? my mum wont even go there but like i say she has alot of regrets?

This is a very good article. It reminds us that although our parent may have slacked off religious-wise, but when they become 'sickly', their thoughts must also automatically think about that ultimate time when they will face their creator. I think having your religious leader come in and just reassure them spiritually must be a great relief for them. We didn't even think of this when we knew mom was dying. Only afterwards, did my family who are Catholics realized they forgot to contact the priest to say this last Sacrament. I think it must be important because older sis felt sooo awful about it. (I'm not of the same religion as my family.)

It never occurred to me that mom needed spiritual care as well VTShan. Physical and emotional care was a no brainier. I'm sorry your MIL's fear is draining you. My Mom is only 73. 90 , wow...I will lift you and your family in prayer. Hugs to you friend.

Your comments resonated with me. My MIL is 90 and fights to stay alive and in total denial of the aging process. She accuses me of making things up rather than admit her memory problems and is almost pathologically needy when it comes to having someone to talk at (not to, there is little interest in finding out about others.) She was also raised Catholic and attended church for years but, after marrying a non-Catholic, her spiritual life became less important to her (I'm assuming here because she stopped going to Mass.) In the last 10 years that she's lived with us, there has been no desire on her part to attend Mass with us, pray at meals or pray for others. Her lack of spiritual life extends to a real lack of compassion when it comes to the plight of others; maybe 90 is a place of self-involvement to a significant degree. Anyway, I see the fear of God/dying in her, too. It's her journey but her fear is draining us. We wait and pray. Best wishes to you.