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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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[[smiling!]] Be careful what you repeatedly say...I learned that the hard way several years ago. I used to say: "God willing and the creek don't rise". We soon had not one, but two consecutive winters with 500-yr. flooding....I stopped saying that old saying--immediately.... Of course, it is more likely a coincidence. But what timing!? I had to think deeply about what quip I could keep repeating---saying "It could be worse"...heck, the Universe would step into my world in a heartbeat, and offer up something worse, just to show it can! It takes some determination to find a positive quip to use as a stand-by---something like: "Lord, I sure love the __[fill in blank]__" Etc. what makes sense in your situation. But make your daily mantra a good, positive, happy one....just something that simple, can subtly change one's day to a bit better--and who knows?! MAYbe it really does fundamentally change how the Universe ticks?!
I think you should have a plan because you never know when your husband might go downhill FAST. You don't want to have to scramble. Look around yourself. He doesn't have to go unless he wants to. Good luck. It is not easy.
I care for my 96 year old grandmother now, the greatest challenge I face is her acceptance of her limits. She has been independent her whole life. Her sons are finding it a challenge to face her new limits as well. She has always been the rock we all relied on. Now she needs us. A huge adjustment. I stay out of her way as much as possible, so she keeps as much independence as possible. But always close to keep an eye on her.
There are difficult times, but I think the worst is when you lose a loved one. Second to that are the petty reclusive relatives who disappear when a family member falls ill and needs assistance, until it's time to resolve an estate, then here they come with their hands out crying about their entitlement. Otherwise in general it takes very special people to be caregivers, patience, common sense and immense emotional strength. There should be a medal of honor for every caregiver as far as I'm concerned, and the life lessons learned from it are priceless in so many ways.
Wow, Marlis, you sound like someone I'd like to have nearby to visit. To give so much of yourself for so many years and still be cheerful, that's s a rare gift.
Recently I adopted the mantra, "Yes I can!"
What came to mind reading your words is that I wonder if a residential transition could be made sooner rather than later, to ease the worry of what will happen if you predecease your husband.
I'm aware of retirement communities where they offer stages of care, from zero to nursing home. That way you would have a process in place so your husband is looked after whether you are able to help him or not. Also I know some of these places are expensive. But perhaps there are similar alternatives that could be explored.
Bottom line is to set it up now so you can better enjoy the years that YOU have left. Good luck and God bless.
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
5 Comments
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My Mantra: “It Could Be Worse”
Be careful what you repeatedly say...I learned that the hard way several years ago.
I used to say: "God willing and the creek don't rise".
We soon had not one, but two consecutive winters with 500-yr. flooding....I stopped saying that old saying--immediately....
Of course, it is more likely a coincidence.
But what timing!?
I had to think deeply about what quip I could keep repeating---saying "It could be worse"...heck, the Universe would step into my world in a heartbeat, and offer up something worse, just to show it can!
It takes some determination to find a positive quip to use as a stand-by---something like:
"Lord, I sure love the __[fill in blank]__"
Etc. what makes sense in your situation.
But make your daily mantra a good, positive, happy one....just something that simple, can subtly change one's day to a bit better--and who knows?! MAYbe it really does fundamentally change how the Universe ticks?!
Recently I adopted the mantra, "Yes I can!"
What came to mind reading your words is that I wonder if a residential transition could be made sooner rather than later, to ease the worry of what will happen if you predecease your husband.
I'm aware of retirement communities where they offer stages of care, from zero to nursing home. That way you would have a process in place so your husband is looked after whether you are able to help him or not. Also I know some of these places are expensive. But perhaps there are similar alternatives that could be explored.
Bottom line is to set it up now so you can better enjoy the years that YOU have left. Good luck and God bless.