My 75 year old father was recently diagnosed with "Mixed Cognitive Dementia" he got 15/30 on his cognitive test, and his brain scan showed different areas of his brain that had deterioration. His driving skills had started to decline and my mom called his doctor which resulted in his license being revoked. This angered my Dad and he is adamant on getting his license back. He was recently on bladder incontinence medication which caused him to have episodes of confusion which he is now no longer taking these medications. He absolutely refuses to think he has dementia despite the findings. He couldn't count backwards by 7 (he explains that he's not good at math and only has a Grade 8 education), he couldn't draw 11:10 on a clock and instead had drawn 10:30, yet he can look at a clock and tell the correct time. He couldn't draw a cube, yet for years he was a seasoned welder and could draw blueprints of all kinds. And when the doctor asked him to say "7...4...2" backwards, he repeated "7...4...2". He is adamant that he knows better and is demanding his license back. But yet, I find I can still have good conversations with him 9 times out of 10 and he is coherent and follows properly. But he's slowed down and we know something is wrong. We have decided to get a 2nd opinion just to satisfy his denial. Once it comes back that he has (and we know he will) essentially fail this new test, we hope that he will finally accept his diagnosis. We are so heartbroken and feel so lost as to how to cope with this. I am on the path to acceptance but my mother, feeling the pressure from my father, often wonders "Did the doctors truly get it right? Does he really truly have dementia?". I mean after all, he was diagnosed over a Zoom call due to the pandemic so he feels he was wrongly diagnosed because it wasn't in person. My dad is on all kinds of medications. Tylenol 3 for chronic pain, blood pressure medication and cholesterol medication and has been on them for many many years. I also have demanded he get a full workup of blood tests done. So I don't know if this is true denial or anosognosia. It has turned our world inside out and upside down .

Great article. I learned early in my dealings with my cousin that she was not able to comprehend all that she was experiencing. She did get some of it and it scared her. That's why I believe she voluntarily stopped driving and eventually agreed with me to go into Assisted Living. She knew she had memory problems, but she was not able to fully appreciate her condition. For example, she thought she could get along fine in her home with her neighbors checking in on her. (In reality, she needed constant supervision with assistance in most all daily activities.)

I think that if more family members understood that if the denial is there, no amount of them arguing, threatening and begging will make a difference. It's not common that a dementia patient will acknowledge the problem and consent to all efforts for care. Waiting on a loved one to get it.....isn't that practical.

Thanks for sharing this. This is the situation with both my parents, who were both diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2014. (My mom, 85, has been have memory problems longer than my dad, 84.) They were getting lost while driving, and they weren't paying bills, but none of these mishaps (they had been going on for a few years) were a wake-up call to them. At first, we thought they were simply in denial, but the problems were happening too much for that to be the case. Their short-term memories had deteriorated to the point they weren't remembering any of these incidents. It was concluded they weren't aware of their conditions.

They're now in assisted living, much to the relief of all family and friends. Every time I call them, they'll say they like where they are but will insist that they will be going back to their house in a few days and that they're just fine. Fortunately, they don't have a car, and have to be signed out of the facility. They are often repetitive in their phone conversation, saying something or asking a question that they said a few minutes earlier.

Extremely interesting report!

Denial has been my mother's preferred coping mechanism at least as long as I've known her. So it is easy for my sisters and me to interpret her behavior as denial combined with memory loss. She doesn't want to acknowledge that she cannot transfer on her own, for example. She insists that she gets up on her own each morning. But perhaps it also has to do with which areas of her brain are damaged. Interesting concept.

Thank you for sharing this!

This seems to be the situation with my husband. It is very difficult to deal with because he continues to insist he can lead workshops and major events like he used to do, and is always saying he is going to call people to get that set up because he thinks there is nothing wrong with him except age-related memory loss at 78. I worry about when he tries to contact people and bring them in to work on these events with him--he can't follow through and when he does try to lead a group he repeats himself continually and gets off track, etc. So far, he hasn't been able to complete any of his plans--he forgets or gets distracted. But every time he starts talking about it, he gets so intense and I don't know what to do if he really does call these people! I, too, thought he was just in denial because he couldn't or didn't want to face the concept of dementia, but now I'm thinking that this is probably what is happening. He acknowledges his memory loss and it frustrates him greatly, and occasionally he will admit that it frightens him, but most of the time he thinks he is just fine.

This article is wonderful! My mother thinks there is nothing in the world wrong with her besides being 77 years old. I know it won't make it better but it will definitely make me feel better about it. Thank you!

This was very interesting and timely...i think It may explain my mother's situation perfectly..I am, what I call, my mother's interpretor of life.. she lives with me and my family and we have a caregiver for her physical needs but I do everything else... She hasn't walked since June yet she insists she does so every night! She is on in home Hospice yet she insists she isn't dying ( her physician of over 30 years put the order in) as she has a host of ailments from which she will never improve... I thought her 'denial' was her way of self preservation but deep down I wondered... One of my brother's and some of her friends don't think there is anything wrong as she has some brief periods where she seems like her old self....but I see her 24/7..thank you for writing this...