activities for a person with dementia in the winter

I am not sure what to do! My mother has been in rehab for months, she is 80 and has osteoporosis, memory loss, dementia (more so in the last 3 days) and confused. She has gone in a fetal position and refuses and does not understand to loosen up and straighten out her leg. They stopped physical therapy as she was not responding and stopped eating. she lives in florida and I live in North Carolina. My brother lives in her home and works out of the house, he is her main caregiver, but he is only able to visit once a day at dinner time. I came down 2 weeks ago after the facility called me to start considering hospice or a feeding tube, and I nor my brother want to do a feeding tube, so I headed down to asses the situation. I should also mention that she is a foreign woman, she can't read or write and not good with activities, picky eater, she was an amazing cook!
For the last 2 weeks, I spent time with her from the moment she got up, to the moment she laid down, we tried physical therapy again, and she showed interest and motivation, she gained 4 pounds and her appetite came back. A week ago, her new doctor as the previous one was never present prescribed a low dose of muscle relaxer baclofen, to take 3 times a day, a total of 15 milligrams a day. 3-4 days ago I noticed a lot of confusion, especially with eating and swallowing, she closes her mouth when I say open, spits out when I say swallow, she sleeps all the time and her dementia is constant. In addition, she vomits 1 to 2 out of her 3 meals and her stomach hurts. Because she was not improving as quickly as medicare would like in physical therapy, even though she met the goals they set, they stopped PT a few days ago. I looked up side effects and found out that all her symptoms are side effects, so I asked the nurse to stop baclofen and let her doctor know that I no longer wish her taking it. He came to see me a few hours after that and wanted to discuss putting her on antidepressants. I am really concerned with this, I don't want her dealing with more side effects, when I showed my concern he said that if he did not feel it was necessary, then he would not suggest it, he knows what he is doing and that most patients in here are on it, but they all look out of it all the time, non of them look happy and perky!
I am bringing her home on Wednesday to live here again, we are getting her a hoyer lift to help with transportation. I think being home and around family should help a bit, but what if the antidepressants will help? I am so confused! I am more prone to holistic approach and all natural supplements, but I don't want to impose my beliefs on her situation and I surely don't want her to be depressed in her late stage of living! What to do???

Music therapy is so great for dementia patients. Play music from the patient's youth. Reading to the patient also helps. Perhaps Biblical scripture as well as a much loved book. I found that watching or listening to the news was disturbing to my husband before his death from Lewy Body Dementia. Watching or listening to violent TV shows is also disturbing to people with dementia. Hope this helps.

This is sound advice for an important, and all-to-common problem. I know because I've been a holistic registered nurse who's specialized in assisting elders for the last 40 years.

I agree with Captain - each person's circumstance is different. I also want to add a caution I've found - that upset or belligerent behavior, on the part of elders OR the caregiver at times being snappy or inconsiderate - those are not "depression", those are periodic glitches. Point is to add some slow enough company on a regular basis - so yes, those with dementia are easily distracted, and negative episodes can be minimized and contained by self removal - but it really helps for someone to take regular time, two hours at least, to spend with that person in their environment - even 3 days a week. The regularity and knowledge and acceptance of their now slow pace, is really helpful to the elder accepting their own pace, and realizing that when one listens, one finds moments of humor, wit, cleverness, kindness in those times - they still matter.

great advice , castle . yes , unf*ck their environment and sense their needs . im taking scissors to the NH today to trim my aunts bangs out of her eyes . those little things show that you are listening to them . yesterday i put socks on her feet because her shoes were too loose on her . losing body mass rapidly ..
youre flailing in the dark if your not listening to them ..

my aunt just went to NH and she feels safe . my mom felt safe in her home with her parrot and son . i think circumstances vary wildly but near end of life youll need at least 2 people for round the clock care , more if you can get them ..
depression is every bit as much of a monster as late stage dementia and in combination can snap a caregivers brain like a twig .
i dont have much advice , only distraction with another activity or train of thought . fortunately the demented are easily distracted ..

I think this is a welcome article. Those four things are roughly the framework I try to bring when I do elder care - I learned this focus when I had made time to sit with, do activities with and when any new plan was decided - I would listen closely to my disabled brother's reactions and day to day stories, and I could observe closely whether he sounded encouraged, whether he was moving well - "Slow medicine", in the book, "My mother, Your mother" - where the physician talks of his own transformation when he became a patient and also when he was caring for his own mother, and learned that she needed company, at her pace, given by someone who made the time, and accepted themselves - this means that sometimes if you make time, you will have to miss or fail - it's not a mathmatical formula, but a repeated time of visits, where the focus is not on trying to help them remember or regain the past, but enjoys them as they speak now, understanding that it's not all about the words, it's about the enjoyment of their speech, now.

It is tempting to think that the professional diagnosis and planned intervention is going to fix something. We have legions of professionals, all with great plans. But what the elder can handle, is a predictable routine, and spending time with them while honoring that slow and simple routine, is the best healing one can offer. Not everyone involved has to play that role, but it matters for them to have someone, for otherwise, people try to assess what's happening by asking questions, and that does not work with many people - that doesn't encourage them to talk and relax - it's the listening and attention and relating to their answers that adds the encouragement. In that slow process also, one notices where glitches exist in their current setting, and resolving those glitches helps them feel that someone is paying attention, helping them rather than expecting them to explain all needs, for many elders seek to avoid rocking any boat, or inconveniencing others - and if some do that, they feel alone and guilty afterwards - many elders want a soothing, attentive, gentle company, not overwhelming for anyone (for it takes a team of varied involvements).

Really need to put her in a Nursing Home for your sake as well as hers....There is only so much you can do... Your health is effected dealing with this...Do both of you a favor...Bless you for all you have done..

My MIL is totally bedbound so I can't take her anywhere. Her hand eye coordination is terrible and she can't feed herself let alone do an activity. She can't read etc. She has been depressed and cranky all her life and I don't see how I can change anything now at age 89. I feel guilty that she has no quality of life. Her bed is in the middle of my living room and I kinda "live around her." Don't know how else to put it.
Any ideas out there? Thanks for listening

My Mom has depression running in her family. She is in Assisted Living and has Arthritis in her back and Congested Heart Failure. Her balance is off as she has fluid on the brain and because of her diabetes she needs to move but does and will not get out of bed until 2 pm. All her life she has been to Doctor's all her life, Her Dad passed away in 1981 as he quit eating because he said he wanted to die and he succeeded . Her brother hung himself at the age of 60, leaving a letter that he did not want to grow old. Counseling at this point does not help as her memory is not good and she refuses to talk. She has a walker and has finally accepted it.

I've found that a low dose antidepressant has worked wonders for Dad. He was combative, belligerent and unpredictable in behavior which was frightening. At 94 yrs old it is a struggle to get him to attend to his hygiene and now even to get him out of the house. I know that no pill is a panacea. But without his taking 50 mg. of Zoloft everyday for the past 2 years life with him would be much more difficult to bear. Zoloft helped clear up the belligerent behavior, which I feel stems from his losing control over the drastic changes happening in his life with age.

these are very nice things to do ,but my hubby is very low at the moment he is in his last stages and has young onset dementia he tends to know he is unwell but cannot understand why he is hospital ,why he cannot come home he can say some words but not understanderable to me ,but would love to help as much as I can to give him some happiness but his mobility is not good so I still do not know what to do .