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Extremely well stated but sex can also be the medicine that is a helpful antidote missing in the diet to stabilize the brain, Since we are waging a war without medicine can anyone suggest other treatments that affect the brain?
Wow, what a subject regarding the elderly. We have all been taught and conditioned that sex was not something people did after a certain age or that only men wanted sexual relations into elderly ages. I agree this is a subject that needs to be brought out in the open so we all understand more about it, not only for the elderly for generations to come. Healthy life styles apply to all of us. Is gramma no longer interested in sex since menopause or it is it a part of what society mandates as acceptable for elderly woman???
Tomatilla, AFTER the legal issues are over - and I mean literally over - as in over and done with, please Google and find where people put their reviews on these businesses. Just as I go to Amazon and read the reviews, I hope there is a site that also provides this for "clients" of these kind of facilities. Then post your review of that facility. It will be a Warning for others who like me, loves to Google for info. (I spent weeks Googling different sites about my hotel, stuff to do in Hawaii, etc... before my trip.) But do this ONLY AFTER all the legal stuff is done. You don't want to do anything to jeopardize the Current Issue with your mom and the facility. Be very matter-of-fact. State what happened, how when you mentioned it to the staff, how they responded to you as if it was not a big deal, etc.... I'm so sorry... {{HUGS}}
Awful! My mom was sexually assaulted in the middle of the night by a naked man in an excited state (you know what I mean...). This was not consensual. My mother was asleep when this naked man got on top of her. We called the sherriff's office later when the ALF finally fessed up to this man's attack. I removed my mom and we are dealing with AHCA, DCF, the sheriff's office, and attorneys. My mom is devastated (age 90) and so am I and my husband. His step-daughter says he has epilepsy but we have done the research and those patients are hyposexual--can't do it. We think that the step-daughter wanted to get rid of widowed step-dad and falsified info to make him seem a dementia patient. Detective says he has done this before--in an airport! So, do not trust the ALF or the family. This is not consensual. It is a crime. The ALF is going to be fined by our state's Agency. DO NOT EVER LET YOUR LOVED ONE GO TO HarborChase anywhere. I checked the complaints and fines--really BAD. I do not want anyone to go what we are going through. Please heed my warning--it is true and consistent with the eyewitnesses. Peace to all.
I do not necessarily agree with this. I would have my concerns about the safety of my parent I entrusted to the facility and I if my parent had cognitive issues, I definitely would not want them to be sexually active. If they are married then that would be a different . It is kinda like raising children both young and old need some guidance.
I too would like to include my voice of gratitude regarding sex and the elderly . Our society seems to negate the fact that our seniors need recognition for their entire spirit and not just for bits and pieces of their ailments. Our perspective of aging is entirely distorted hence the need for more articles of this caliber
Thank you for this thoughtful article which focuses attention on an important issue.
Clearly people lose a great deal of freedom and privacy when they enter an elder care facility. Your references to "policies about sex" and family being able to say "no" basically tell the story.
Meanwhile, the facility has the responsibility to prevent sexual abuse of residents, particularly those with cognitive impairments. How does one determine if physical contacts are consensual with an Alzheimer's patient?
This quandary reminds me of the same type of situation which exists in group homes and congregate care facilities for mentally handicapped adults. The cliental are at high risk for abuse because many lack the mental capacity to make informed decisions. Others, especially the higher functioning, sometimes form lasting bonds with partners.
In both cases, generalized rules just don’t work; decisions must be made on a case-by-case basis. Blessings to those of you who undertake this difficult challenge.
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Seniors and Sex: Elder Care Facilities Attempt to Tackle Taboos
Clearly people lose a great deal of freedom and privacy when they enter an elder care facility. Your references to "policies about sex" and family being able to say "no" basically tell the story.
Meanwhile, the facility has the responsibility to prevent sexual abuse of residents, particularly those with cognitive impairments. How does one determine if physical contacts are consensual with an Alzheimer's patient?
This quandary reminds me of the same type of situation which exists in group homes and congregate care facilities for mentally handicapped adults. The cliental are at high risk for abuse because many lack the mental capacity to make informed decisions. Others, especially the higher functioning, sometimes form lasting bonds with partners.
In both cases, generalized rules just don’t work; decisions must be made on a case-by-case basis. Blessings to those of you who undertake this difficult challenge.