What David did for his mother he was great there are not to many people around would do that good on him I work with Dementia people and love my job but I see so money people in my job that are only here for the money and its and easy job to get into
I'm a care giver and love my job Most of the people I work with are only here for the money For what I do I don't get payed enough but its not just the money why I do it I have watched a lot of people die from Dementia alone no one to care at all its sad. I'm proud of David Cassidy for what he did for his mum and becoming a spokes person I loved what David stood for and I loved his music and acting on the partridge family. I feel for him as so money people took advantage of him god bless you David your in a better place
I agree with Ire4along and Kedwards460. How does visiting your mother once a month compare with caregiving for a parent in your own home? Is he making her meals, doing her laundry, taking her to her doctor appointment, holding her close when she cries?? Has he given up his financial stability, friends, home, or job to care for her?
I must add that being a 'caregiver' means a lot more than simply taking in your parent or moving in with them, or being there with them everyday doing the 'physical' care. Those who can do this deserve praises, but everyone cannot. I live 200 miles away from my parents. Dad has dementia and is 90 and Mom is in early stages at 87. I am trustee of their trust, and have POA and I coordinate home health care via a case manager in an eldercare program. I get daily reports via phone or email from the HH aide. I get up to 20 calls per day from my parents because they do not support each other or even get along. I've had to handle all the prep work to get applications in for VA and state aide for my Dad and have to go to their town about once per month to check on things and meet with attorney, case manager and investment people. AND it is a joke to say that soc. sec or other gov't help covers all this, because they do not...at least not until all these applications are in and approved, and it still doesn't cover 100%. This disease will eat up ALL their assets before they both die, no matter where the care is given, and even the 'caregiving' I do is very draining, emotionally and physically. I am 68 yr old with a husband that has his own health issues and we both also run a home based business that has suffered this past year while trying to put my parents first. I do it because they ARE my parents and I am expected/required to honor them and provide for them, as they did for me when I needed the care. But there are times, I certainly feel like by the time they both die, my husband will be more ill and then it will be my health being affected last...and that the rest of my life will be some kind of caregiving. Hard to fathom when I am SUPPOSED to be retired from a career as an RN! I had only 8 years of retirement from caregiving and then it started all over again! I do my best. And I think everyone should assume that anyone doing any kind of caregiving, whether daily in home, or long distance, IS doing the very best they can!
Just because a person does not live nearby their elderly parents does not mean they are not a "caretaker." When my father had dementia and it became clear that he was going to need help, it was I who did all of his legal papers, I who arranged for a realtor to sell his house, I who hired repairmen to get the house ready to sell, I who handled all of his finances and legal affairs, I who dragged him around to banks to get everything converted to revocable living trusts, I who took care of my mother's estate single-handedly when she dropped dead of a sudden heart attack one day when dad was in getting rehab after a stroke, etc.. I had to do this from 500 miles away with a few visits to his area in order to make all of this happen. I know adult children who live in the same town as their elderly parents who don't show as much care for them as I did. I was not particularly "close" to my parents, yet I chose to do all of the above. My brother, the attorney, was completely USELESS in all of the above because the man emotionally could not deal with the situation. So, the "guilt trip" should not be laid on adult children who do not take parents into their home to care for them - it's not always possible. Sometimes the demands of their careers, or their children's education requires them to live in a city miles away from their aging parents.
I would like to add some more information to what I wrote to before.
I did not have a job for most of the time that I was taking care of my mom before I became trustee. The fire department was called to my moms house on the regular bases in the middle of the night because whe would fall and push her vital link button and in turn they would call me. In addition to that my mom had a lot of problems with her citical thinking and I was helping her out. I did call APS and had them come out to talk to her. They are the ones that told me that she had Fronotemporal dementia. I was shocked because I was seeing something real. Anyway by the time I had to become her trustee, I personally had to file bankruptcy. It is a shame that you have to make a choice to working and taking care of your loved one. In David's case he is problably earning money to pay for his mother's care because there is a good chance that her care cost more than her social security and and what other benefits she gets.
My mother gets social security, and retirement benefits, but it is not enough to cover her expensese. Even with the sale of her house and using that money she will still be broke by the time she dies because of the nature of her diease is going to cost a lot of money for her care.
I take issue with statements made by Ire4along. It's well known that David lived with his maternal grandparents in New Jersey in his early years as his parents were frequently touring - often gone to appear in theater productions and that was by their "choice and design", not his. He was 6 years old when he found out from neighborhood kids that his parents had been divorced for 2 years. Then as a teen he moved in with his Dad and Shirley Jones. It doesn't seem he spent much time with his Mom in the formative years that children bond with their parents. I'm not criticizing but you should look at the whole picture. I'm sure Jack and Evelyn thought they were doing their best and I'm sure that David loved them both very much but like a lot of families they weren't as close as they would have liked to be. Also Ire4alongs statement about David's "contributions being minimal since Social Security, Medicare, pensions and other taxpayer funds are largely responsible for her care" seem harsh. Soc/Sec and M/care are her right to receive as a taxpaying citizen of the United States. Is a pension a taxpayer fund? I feel David's statement about being lucky to afford her care means that he feels good about being able to take care of his Mom in a more substantial way than if she HAD to rely on government assistance. Considering David's estrangement from his parents, especially Mom, at such a young age (remember, their decision) which continued until adulthood I think he should be commended for being a spokesperson for Research, Prevention, and Awareness of Alzheimer's Disease on account of his love for his Mom, I don't think they pay him for it. It angered me also that Kedwards460 agreed with Ire4along when stating that caregivers not giving up jobs, friends, etc... in regards to David's care of his Mom. Think about it Ked460 - Evelyn & Jack didn't give up their jobs, etc... so David could be with them. If anything he's as devoted a caregiver as they were parents. They did what they thought was best, just as he is doing so I wouldn't judge too harshly.
The details that David Cassidy shares about his Mom's Dementia sound very similar to my Mom's slow decline. My Mom was in a bathing suit on a cold October afternoon walking the streets, completely lost in her mind. The police "asked her" if she wanted to go to the hospital "SHE" agreed, she said yes because she did not feel well. Prior to that my Mom was at the police station, nearly daily, for paranoid type issues or she'd go to the neighbors to ask them to check out if someone was robbing her, this was also daily, sometimes more than one time a day. They could not bring her to the hospital at that time because she was not harming herself or others. I was refused by her to help so were other relatives that tried. She refused everyone's help until the day she Voluntarily was admitted. So I do feel blessed that nothing else happened to her and that she was treated and from that point on, I could start the process of dealing with her care and quality of life and her care needs. I cared for her in my Home, after she was diagnosed and she was stabilized with medications and that was the new routine in keeping her stable enough to what I needed to do. This was only possible for 1 year. She became more confused and uncooperative and just plain unhappy that I was 24/7 on her back. I was very pleasant and had a lot of patience I was sweet to her all the time. She walked into a lake one night, she thought it was a puddle, climbed out windows to get out of the house, she walked dangerous roads into traffic etc. I would go to the bathroom 5 minutes and she'd take off one way or another. The police luckily were there almost every day to respond, they still could not do anything unless she agreed to going to the hospital.. So a Nursing Home was the only answer or she would have gotten hurt sooner or later. It is not a reality still... to my family, of how much time and energy it took me to care for her. How very dangerous the world is to my Mom. I am not rich and neither is Mom. So I feel blessed that she is now having a great quality of life at a good place, and her safety and hygiene are under control . She worked hard to stay afloat in her life and she contributed to the funds that are there now for the necessities of her quality of life now. I am very thankful for having the resources she paid for over the years and she absolutely earned it all and she's cared for now. I am also Thankful for anyone helping with the awareness of dementia or any elder in need. Most times people do not understand until it becomes a crisis and it's too late. I see people that I know going through this in early stages. I warn family of the need of attention and what is next and most times it ends up in unpleasant results because they wait until it is too late. This is mainly why I come to this site and try to help those who are trying to deal with it all. A person does not have to be physically taking care of someone to be a caregiver they just have to be aware of the seriousness of care needs and see that the elder is out of harms way and getting everything they need on a daily basis. A person such as David Cassidy has lived through this experience and is willing to take time to aware others in anyway possible and his celebrity status aids in the awareness and he wants to help others, so that a Crisis Situation can be avoided and as his Mothers condition, this may be treated earlier to prolong a healthier happier Quality of Life. Look at my profile picture it says it all. Once I was aware Mom was happier and so am I.
I spent about ten years helping my mom due to her breaking her femur, and during that time it became clear to me that there was something terrible wrong with her. I called her doctor and told her that I was helping my mom with her mail, her house when things need fixing, and chasing people away from her that want to take advantage of the ederly and my mom was repeating the same questions over and over. I did a good job helping my mom to the point that when I did try to tell my sister there was something wrong with my mom, my sister did not believe me. I told my brother in law that I needed to talk to him about my mom becauuse there was something majorly wrong. He was driving on the freeway, so I told him to get off the freeway and call me back. Instead he called my mom and she told him she was fine, and I was the one that was crazy. Two years later, I had my moms Power of Attorney call my brother in law and tell them that my mom had Frontotemporal dementia, and I mailed a letter stating that the diagoses to them. They were upset with with me because I did not tell them sooner. My sister has not seen my mom in twelve years, and stll refuses to see her. I reminded them I had. There is a thin line between your ill parents right to privacy and keeping them save.
My mom is in a home being taking care of by caregiver with other people who need 24/7. I go over to where she is staying and take out to her to appointments, an ice cream and other things. She needs someone to be with her at all times.
I happen to know that David cancelled some events last year to spend more time with his mom on the west coast. Just because he did not live at the facility does not mean that he was not a care giver. I just means that he came into at a later time.
As far as cost, I used my moms money to pay for her care, and then I sold her house to continue paying for her care. Social services is not doing it.
I love these people who act like they are caregivers when all they are are offspring that visit their parents in facilities. They never gave up jobs, friends, a social life, vacations to care for their parents in their homes or the homes of their parents. Yet, they call themselves devoted caregivers. Give me a break.
David's mum, Evelyn Ward, will be 89 on 23 May. In the 2-1/2 years prior to her placement seven years ago, David hadn't seen nor spoken to her. This was by his choice and design, and not hers. That he considers himself "lucky" to be able to "afford" her care is commendable. If anything, his contributions are minimal. Social Security, Medicare, pensions, and other taxpayer funds are largely responsible for her care.
I want to Thank David Cassidy for Expressing his story and feelings and understanding the need for Research and Prevention and Awareness, and how important these things are. My prayers have been answered... I have been trying to express the same feelings that I have about My Mom's dementia to my Sister for about 3 years now. The funny thing is David Cassidy was her Teen Heartthrob and I was extremely jealous, as her little sister (not yet a teen) I could not understand the obsession, and I clearly remember ruining her posters of him. I did like him myself but in a different way, I had Partridge Family Albums and it is still one of my favorite shows. Who would have thought that David Cassidy would be the one to help me explain Mom's Dementia and her overall Care, is my priority, I am very serious and the importance and feelings are a reality. David Cassidy If you read this I would love to spread awareness to other people ~ before a crisis situation~ as I am now aware that you can do something before it is a crisis. I visit Mom's nursing home quite often and have an eye witness view to many types of Dementia/Alzheimer's. Thank You David for Sharing your story!
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David Cassidy: Teen Idol to Dementia Caregiver
I still remember all the words, wont get the darn song out of my head or days.
I did not have a job for most of the time that I was taking care of my mom before I became trustee. The fire department was called to my moms house on the regular bases in the middle of the night because whe would fall and push her vital link button and in turn they would call me. In addition to that my mom had a lot of problems with her citical thinking and I was helping her out. I did call APS and had them come out to talk to her. They are the ones that told me that she had Fronotemporal dementia. I was shocked because I was seeing something real. Anyway by the time I had to become her trustee, I personally had to file bankruptcy. It is a shame that you have to make a choice to working and taking care of your loved one. In David's case he is problably earning money to pay for his mother's care because there is a good chance that her care cost more than her social security and and what other benefits she gets.
My mother gets social security, and retirement benefits, but it is not enough to cover her expensese. Even with the sale of her house and using that money she will still be broke by the time she dies because of the nature of her diease is going to cost a lot of money for her care.
My Mom was in a bathing suit on a cold October afternoon walking the streets, completely lost in her mind. The police "asked her" if she wanted to go to the hospital "SHE" agreed, she said yes because she did not feel well. Prior to that my Mom was at the police station, nearly daily, for paranoid type issues or she'd go to the neighbors to ask them to check out if someone was robbing her, this was also daily, sometimes more than one time a day. They could not bring her to the hospital at that time because she was not harming herself or others. I was refused by her to help so were other relatives that tried. She refused everyone's help until the day she Voluntarily was admitted. So I do feel blessed that nothing else happened to her and that she was treated and from that point on, I could start the process of dealing with her care and quality of life and her care needs. I cared for her in my Home, after she was diagnosed and she was stabilized with medications and that was the new routine in keeping her stable enough to what I needed to do. This was only possible for 1 year. She became more confused and uncooperative and just plain unhappy that I was 24/7 on her back. I was very pleasant and had a lot of patience I was sweet to her all the time. She walked into a lake one night, she thought it was a puddle, climbed out windows to get out of the house, she walked dangerous roads into traffic etc. I would go to the bathroom 5 minutes and she'd take off one way or another. The police luckily were there almost every day to respond, they still could not do anything unless she agreed to going to the hospital.. So a Nursing Home was the only answer or she would have gotten hurt sooner or later. It is not a reality still... to my family, of how much time and energy it took me to care for her. How very dangerous the world is to my Mom. I am not rich and neither is Mom. So I feel blessed that she is now having a great quality of life at a good place, and her safety and hygiene are under control . She worked hard to stay afloat in her life and she contributed to the funds that are there now for the necessities of her quality of life now. I am very thankful for having the resources she paid for over the years and she absolutely earned it all and she's cared for now.
I am also Thankful for anyone helping with the awareness of dementia or any elder in need. Most times people do not understand until it becomes a crisis and it's too late. I see people that I know going through this in early stages. I warn family of the need of attention and what is next and most times it ends up in unpleasant results because they wait until it is too late. This is mainly why I come to this site and try to help those who are trying to deal with it all.
A person does not have to be physically taking care of someone to be a caregiver they just have to be aware of the seriousness of care needs and see that the elder is out of harms way and getting everything they need on a daily basis.
A person such as David Cassidy has lived through this experience and is willing to take time to aware others in anyway possible and his celebrity status aids in the awareness and he wants to help others, so that a Crisis Situation can be avoided and as his Mothers condition, this may be treated earlier to prolong a healthier happier Quality of Life. Look at my profile picture it says it all. Once I was aware Mom was happier and so am I.
My mom is in a home being taking care of by caregiver with other people who need 24/7. I go over to where she is staying and take out to her to appointments, an ice cream and other things. She needs someone to be with her at all times.
I happen to know that David cancelled some events last year to spend more time with his mom on the west coast. Just because he did not live at the facility does not mean that he was not a care giver. I just means that he came into at a later time.
As far as cost, I used my moms money to pay for her care, and then I sold her house to continue paying for her care. Social services is not doing it.
My prayers have been answered... I have been trying to express the same feelings that I have about My Mom's dementia to my Sister for about 3 years now. The funny thing is David Cassidy was her Teen Heartthrob and I was extremely jealous, as her little sister (not yet a teen) I could not understand the obsession, and I clearly remember ruining her posters of him. I did like him myself but in a different way, I had Partridge Family Albums and it is still one of my favorite shows.
Who would have thought that David Cassidy would be the one to help me explain Mom's Dementia and her overall Care, is my priority, I am very serious and the importance and feelings are a reality. David Cassidy If you read this I would love to spread awareness to other people ~ before a crisis situation~ as I am now aware that you can do something before it is a crisis. I visit Mom's nursing home quite often and have an eye witness view to many types of Dementia/Alzheimer's.
Thank You David for Sharing your story!