josie335860oreo, it would be best if you started your post as a new subject, and it is a very important subject. Not many are going to find your posting via the title of this thread regarding employment and bosses.
what happens when you are a live-in caregiver and there around the clock, doing every thing house hold duties, errands cleaning, shopping everything and no help. A elderly man with dementia, norcolepsey and catalepesy. I know misspelled words but my health is being affected now. How can one person keep doing this: Help
Glad, yes I was already an employee, but when my job was eliminated I was out of work for awhile, and here I was in my 60's but not old enough for Social Security/Medicare. I had that time gap on my resume.
I didn't know what to do as my career was specialized. I needed to find an employer that was flexible so I could run home in case my parents needed me. How I hated to have been placed in that position by my parents. So unfair as my parents never needed to care for their own parents, thus they had no clue how their life was changing mine.
There are ways to fill that "gap" in your resume to make it appear like a job, even though it probably was a "volunteer position" instead of a paid position. Google "caregiving gap on resume" to get some ideas. Found quite a few good websites. Wishing you the best of luck.
Thanks ff. What about is someone is looking for work? Already an employee is one thing but trying to find a job while caregiving for so long is another
Glad, you asked if there any elderly friendly bosses. From a recent Washington-Post article entitled "Aging population prompts more employers to offer elder-care benefits to workers".....
"Some, including pioneers such as Fannie Mae in the Washington DC area, are offering not only flexibility, but also benefits such as emergency backup adult care, geriatric assessments, social workers to assist with referrals for adult day-care programs, and help with legal, financial and emotional counseling. For caregivers whose parents live far away, some companies offer privacy and time for workers to Skype into parents’ appointments with doctors."
"The share of employers providing information about elder-care services to their employees has increased from 31 percent in 2008 to 43 percent in 2014, according to the 2014 Families and Work Institute’s National Study of Employers. Three-fourths of employers say they offer time off for elder care without penalizing workers"
Discussing Caregiving with Your Boss? Good heavens, when I first started this journey of helping my elderly parents my boss was like the key figure in the movie "The Devil Wears Prada". She had zero sympathy regarding my situation. Eventually headquarters eliminated my position.
Now I am working for a boss, in the same field, who at the time when I first started was caring for his wife who had Alzheimer's, thus if he was out of the office for the day I understood, and the same with him if I had to call out.
I am lookimg for work after caring for mom and her hubby for nearly four years. I have actually been asked in interviews well then what happens to your mother. This IMHO should be one of those questions that is not permitted by equal opportunity laws as questions related to child care, marital status and age.
How to find an employer that has an understanding of caregiving? And that this is a difficult job that does not involve eating bon bons, warching soaps or mooching off of parents. Are there any caregiver friendly employers out there that will not discrimate because we are family caregivers?
I do work a full time job, plus trying real hard to understand the path I am on in taking care of my husband with dementia. I luckily have a son that lives next door so he comes over and also when I am working keeps my husband helping him with working on cars or doing yard work. I feel sometimes at work when I am having a bad day they always seem to think its because of my husbands condition etc. believe you mean there are times when it is the working environment that gets me aggravated. I enjoy working, it is an outlet for me to vent, cry, laugh etc. I am hoping I can continue to do work. Than there are times I wish I could afford to stay home. So yes I do have my good and bad days, I try my best to listen to others and join groups like this one to have peace of mind and to live my life to the fullest with this type of forum. Thank you to all.
To make the caregiving and job hunting matters worse, my coping skills have greatly suffered. I will go for counseling because I finally admitted to family members to being developmentally disabled. The problem is I have suffered my mother's abuse for several years; we managed to work out situations through our faith. Very recently with Mom's last injury, she was admitted to a 24-hour assisted living care home is upset that she is not allowed to come back home. I just cannot let go of this problem, so it is interfering with my sleep and job seeking. It is really time to obtain counseling, and I thank the family to identifying this.
bmorehappy~ I agree with your post. The co-workers I do talk to...one has her mother living with her for 20 years now. Not because her health issues prevent her from living on her own, its financial. She worked as a caregiver but was paid under the table so she has no SS. I do not talk about my mother to those co-workers who have come out saying I would never put my parent in a 'home". I don't talk to those who have absolutely no understanding of Alz/dementia. You are very right that those who have not gone through it, have no understanding of what we are going through and there are those who will not admit it because they think it is wrong to vent about it or admit it is stressful. Keep coming here to this site for support and understanding, that is what I do..Hugs to you!!
@Sharynmarie, I found that whenever I discuss my situation whether it be with co-workers and/or friends;they say they understand but they really don't. Trust me noone understands even they claim they emphasize with you.
My mother has Alzheimer's and is living in a memory care unit. I still have unending responsibilities toward her care, visiting her, watering the gardens at her house, and seeing that the lawn clippings are brought out for pick up every other week, plus maintaining my house with my husband. I guess you can already guess which house is neglected, LOL!! I have told my employer the situation, I have received support....except I did have one department manager for about 8 months who would tell me,"Maybe it is because I am a Christian, but I would want to make sure I had no regrets where the care of my parents are concerned." Then when she found out (I told her), the dr. said my mother could not live alone anymore, and I told her that my family members as well as myself, were dividing up our time to see that mom was not alone until we could make decisions, the manager started messing with my schedule, calling me in on every day I was scheduled to have off. I am happy this manager was transferred to another store. She is the only person who allowed her beliefs to interfere with logic. I have taken a 4 week FMLA leave during the month of June so I could go through all of mom's personal belongings, divide up between myself and siblings, then sell the rest plus her house putting the money into mom's estate. I have had no back lash from my employer. Of course a few of my co-workers are of the attitude that you take care of your own....what they fail to comprehend is...I am taking care of my own....just not the way they would. I don't talk with them about it.
Well , for the past five years had I to sacrifice my career and job hunting since my mom had gotten sick with congestive heart failure. This past year she had broken her hip due to a fall in her hospital's room rest room. There was no way on God's earth that I could not have worked this past year while I was attending to my mom's affairs and watching nursing home facilities like a hawk. Now that I am middle aged, I have become more resentful that I am not where I am career wise and in intimate relationships. When I go to an interview, I always was asked what I have been doing for the past few years. I told them that I am a caregiver for a chronically ill parent. Then they look at me as if I was a freak or something. Right now, I am temping at a local government agency and I am hoping that in a month or two I will become permanent but somehow in the back of my mind that will not come into fruition. I never discussed my family health issues with my supervisor because she doesn't have the time nor take the time to get to know me as a person. I understand that she is very busy. Most my colleagues knows of my situation and I do fear that it may play a role in my boss's decision whether I get the permanent position or not. I have quickly figured out how employers are very funny about employees who have to give up their career to tend to their ailing parent. Many would say well hire a care nurse. Well, my mom isn't poor enough to receive help from the government. I cannot get paid by her because she has to report it to the IRS as my income. There are so many things I like to do but I have to put those on hold. Many of my friends don't even bother to invite to things anymore.
RE: 93-year-old divorced mother; I am only 57. Seventeen months ago, in February 2012, I got laid off from my permanent office job (2012) due to the economy. In addition, my own welfare was in danger because I was alone to caregiving duties of my injured elderly mother. My job searching suffered for fourteen months; In mid-April 2013, I started working a nice temporary as-needed job in a local government office. Six days, after starting this job, my mother had another injury that sent her to rehab. I was so preoccupied with her rehab, alternate care home arrangements on my own free time and business time, talking on the phone and doing email with our family and caregiver managers , that I lost significant time from the attention of my new job. The supervisor and director told me that family emergencies do come up, and I even apologized for missed production time, but, I lost my temporary job anyway (I think) due to the caregiving arrangements because I could hardly concentrate on my office assignments, causing me to make many clerical mistakes and not spend enough time with the required training besides. I am once again unemployed since June 2013. I have told my two siblings who live out-of-state that the care home staff is not to call me directly because of Mom's abuse about trying to come back home has been bothering me to much. I feel that the abusive harassments could ruin my life because I would otherwise be unable to work when I should be earning my own way. Mom and I both own our condo but I no longer receive her contribution because her money is paying for her care. She will eventually have to apply for Medicaid.
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Discussing Caregiving with Your Boss
I didn't know what to do as my career was specialized. I needed to find an employer that was flexible so I could run home in case my parents needed me. How I hated to have been placed in that position by my parents. So unfair as my parents never needed to care for their own parents, thus they had no clue how their life was changing mine.
There are ways to fill that "gap" in your resume to make it appear like a job, even though it probably was a "volunteer position" instead of a paid position. Google "caregiving gap on resume" to get some ideas. Found quite a few good websites. Wishing you the best of luck.
"Some, including pioneers such as Fannie Mae in the Washington DC area, are offering not only flexibility, but also benefits such as emergency backup adult care, geriatric assessments, social workers to assist with referrals for adult day-care programs, and help with legal, financial and emotional counseling. For caregivers whose parents live far away, some companies offer privacy and time for workers to Skype into parents’ appointments with doctors."
"The share of employers providing information about elder-care services to their employees has increased from 31 percent in 2008 to 43 percent in 2014, according to the 2014 Families and Work Institute’s National Study of Employers. Three-fourths of employers say they offer time off for elder care without penalizing workers"
Now I am working for a boss, in the same field, who at the time when I first started was caring for his wife who had Alzheimer's, thus if he was out of the office for the day I understood, and the same with him if I had to call out.
How to find an employer that has an understanding of caregiving? And that this is a difficult job that does not involve eating bon bons, warching soaps or mooching off of parents. Are there any caregiver friendly employers out there that will not discrimate because we are family caregivers?