Why would it be anyone's responsibility to pay for anything, to help someone else "grieve"? Honestly. Yes people grieve in different ways. But everyone eventually "gets over it", and how they do is their own responsibility. Seniors do NOT have to throw a funeral party "for the living," and it is actually illegal, and immoral, for anyone to NOT follow someone's explicit instructions as regards their burial instructions.....so if someone says no cremation, or no embalming, or no reviewal, or no church, THAT is what must happen. It is really wrong for kids to approach parents, with a mind to "help me grieve by spending 20 grand on a funeral" and tell them to pre-pay it all. Unless this is what parents WANT to do, don't suggest it. Let seniors do this by themselves and don't even bring it up other than one tiny sentence, without any thought of your own wants, and leave it totally up to them to decide.

I think this would be really difficult to bring up if they weren't very sick or dying. I think it is important to plan somewhat for that sort of thing, but I think you can get a good idea of what they want just because you are part of the family. I know in my family, we all know what we would like to happen if we were to pass this very instant.

It makes me so sad to think that Mom will no longer be with at some point in time. My brothers do not have money to help with expenses and my family is living pretty much paycheck to paycheck. With the emotional toll that such a death brings, I don't want to worry about "going real cheap"!! This is so very hard!!!