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My take away from this article is that we create our own reality. I have chosen to be my mother's caregiver. (There really is no better person in the world to care for her at this time in her life) So, I can either focus on how hard, demeaning, stressful, painful, expensive it can be or I can look for the rewards, the humor, the love, the opportunity to care for someone who cared for me so well. This is not to say that my life is sunshine, roses and lollipops. There are hard days. It sometimes seems pointless to try to have a "meaningful conversation" when it won't be remembered 5 minutes from now - at least by her.
I do appreciate the questions, because they point to my motivation for caring for mom and give me a sense of worth and choice. Thank you
Many things written here in the article resonate with me... I am surprised at jeanne's comment... it is not psycho babble, there are many in this world trying to live in the here and now, it does ease the tension of caregiving or just living in general....I think she was generally saying try to stay calm, see how much you can "love" instead of stay in the problem, and then see how to help others with what you've learned... pretty simple message seems to me....
I am so dismayed, I don't understand how no one gives the caregivers support. How do you justify an elderly Alzheimer's not getting the support and along with that the caregiver is deteriating both emotionally and in health. The hell with these web sites giving you the illusion they are helping us. No one gives the answers or the support. We ll need to DEMAND a solution to our problems money wise(this is an exasperating expense on any family). And nothing is being done about this It is on the back burner of everything else. Help me please, we need to get our heads and resources together to make this right!!!!
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Questions to Help Mindful Caregivers to Find Emotional Balance
This is not to say that my life is sunshine, roses and lollipops. There are hard days. It sometimes seems pointless to try to have a "meaningful conversation" when it won't be remembered 5 minutes from now - at least by her.
I do appreciate the questions, because they point to my motivation for caring for mom and give me a sense of worth and choice.
Thank you
If the books are this full of psycho babble, I'll pass.