I agree with Jeannegibbs -

My take away from this article is that we create our own reality. I have chosen to be my mother's caregiver. (There really is no better person in the world to care for her at this time in her life) So, I can either focus on how hard, demeaning, stressful, painful, expensive it can be or I can look for the rewards, the humor, the love, the opportunity to care for someone who cared for me so well.
This is not to say that my life is sunshine, roses and lollipops. There are hard days. It sometimes seems pointless to try to have a "meaningful conversation" when it won't be remembered 5 minutes from now - at least by her.

I do appreciate the questions, because they point to my motivation for caring for mom and give me a sense of worth and choice.
Thank you

Many things written here in the article resonate with me... I am surprised at jeanne's comment... it is not psycho babble, there are many in this world trying to live in the here and now, it does ease the tension of caregiving or just living in general....I think she was generally saying try to stay calm, see how much you can "love" instead of stay in the problem, and then see how to help others with what you've learned... pretty simple message seems to me....

Gee, when did AgingCare start accepting full page ads?

If the books are this full of psycho babble, I'll pass.

I am so dismayed, I don't understand how no one gives the caregivers support. How do you justify an elderly Alzheimer's not getting the support and along with that the caregiver is deteriating both emotionally and in health. The hell with these web sites giving you the illusion they are helping us. No one gives the answers or the support. We ll need to DEMAND a solution to our problems money wise(this is an exasperating expense on any family). And nothing is being done about this It is on the back burner of everything else. Help me please, we need to get our heads and resources together to make this right!!!!