My husband (85, dementia) attends adult day health center 2 days a week during golf season and 3 days a week the rest of the year. I think he would prefer to stay home and have someone come in, but I think this is better for him. He interacts with other people, they go on outings, and they have programs. All day programs are not created equal. He was in a good one that had too few clients and closed, then the next one was really not satisfactory, and his case manager suggested she'd heard good things of the one he is in now. He's been going for 3 years. He doesn't need them, but this center offers such services and showers and toenail care.

I agree with Mia Madre. My mom went to an adult day care center and they did a financial intake of mom's finances--ie. what her income was vs what all of her expenses were. Many of the participants at this day care paid NOTHING!! My mom oaid about $50/week, including van transportation for door-to-door delivery. The van driver made sure that mom got safely into her house. Mom really liked it. The facility that mom was in rec'd some funds from the county and was called a "Medical center" meaning that it had RN's on staff to give any medications she needed, etc. The center had the usual activities of BINGO, current events, arts and crafts, "dog therapy" where a pet is brought to the center so that the seniors can give it treats and pet the dog.
Please check out the senior centers (another name for "adult daycare.") We signed mom up for 3 days a week and we had home health aides come for 3-4 hours a day for the rest of the week.

Adult day care centers provide basic care during the DAY. Most have pickup and return service from their house to the center and back for a nominal fee. Putting someone in a home is a much different endeavor and needs to be handled with kid gloves.

Why not tell her that the 'day care center' needs some mature individuals to HELP others that are there. Perhaps she has a skill she can teach to others, painting, sewing, crocheting, knitting? That would give her something to do and if she is concerned about the 'money to pay for it' why not tell her a therapeutic lie. Let her know that by her showing others how to knit, play cards, etc will offset the cost.. SHOULD she ask. (Don't volunteer that information unless absolutely necessary.

Ensure your mother that you'll put her in a home that will treat her like a person. She's probably afraid of the horror stories she hears about these homes but the home that I have will definitely recognize that these are people and that they will have activities and they will enjoy life in my home just as they would in their home and probably more. I mean field trips to places they'd enjoy going and all. I have a pond in front of my home and whomever will enjoying fishing can have that as an activity. I will also make a point that they be fed very nutritiously. They won't miss a meal because I have nurses who will cook for them and 24 hour staff to ensure their safety and security devices such as pull cords and alarms. I also have people that will keep track of their medicine and who will administrate their meds for them on time. Its coming very soon I am stocking for it now.

Contact some of the 'adult day care centers' in your area. Some of them actually charge only what an elder can afford. Look into other 'church programs' for her too. Check the adult services in your area. There are programs that DO exist. But you have to look for them.

what does it cost = my mom is considered low income and has no assets- dont think i can afford it

I agree that in home care is very useful for some, staying involved with others can be even more rewarding for our elders to keep a sense of purpose.

Going to an 'adult center' doesn't mean that your parent/loved one will lose their independence, in fact I believe it really can help them keep active.

Rather than force her to go somewhere she isn't comfortable and doesn't want to be--most likely because she feels like she's losing her independence-- why not try in home care?

Your mom will certainly appreciate that you are trying to do help her retain her independence and maintain an enriched life.