I am Stan The Ancaster Handyman. I am the local handyman for people living in Ancaster Ontario. I wrote a blog post on my website on how to find a local handyman that you might find helpful.

I know a lot of people have family that are not very helpful but perhaps you could ask them to find a handyman for you if you are worried about being taken advantage of.
There are lots of people who can not afford to retire who are working as a handyman. You don't want to be using one of the big companies that have multiple trucks on the road and you never know who they will send to you. With a one-man operation, the same person will come to help you out every time.

It's not just your parents. When we needed to move 80 yards of dirt, I called a landscaper because I don't want to be widowed just yet. Sure, he got mad about the expense, but he got over it. When the barn needed 32 squares of roof replaced, I called the roofer. Just do it, let them fuss; they get over it.

Originally I had thought finding the right tradesmen for various jobs would be helpful for my parents. Eventually I was enabling them to continue to live in a house that wasn't elder friendly, especially when one's parents are now in their late 90's.

If I could just re-wind time and do this over again, maybe my parents would be safely living in assisted living and not having to worry about all the repairs they have on a home that is now aging, too.

Aging in place is nice, but there needs to be a cut off point.

I'm not any kind of licensed handyman or electrician, but I am pretty good at minor fixes. (I'm isually the handyman at home.) I would love to provide this kind of service for seniors citizens. I'd rather not work for a company because most are going to charge for the service. But I'd be willing to do the small stuff for free (e.g. Changing lightbulbs).

spoken out of my soul! Great idea - where do I find a person like described
in the article??

I desperately need this kind of help for my 91 year old father. My brother works 10 hour days and even on the weekends has for some reason become distant from my father. So he is of no help. My father for some reason (be it I'm a female....who knows) won't take my help. Some of the tasks that he thinks he can do are very difficult. There are so many things that need to be done. He has already fallen and broke his hip when my mom was alive and then after she passed away a year ago he fell and broke his arm. I would give any thing to find some sort of help for him. But how can you find it in your area??? And how can you be sure they are honest people and won't take advantage of the elderly like you hear so many terrible stories about???? If anyone has an answer to where in my community I can find volunteer help like this, I would sooo appreciate it. We are from Wisconsin, St. Croix County.

Its very important to find the right handyman -- we use Jim's Building Maintenance for everything

Perhaps you could seek some counseling, a safe place to talk it out and make some sense of things and give you a direction. Look at your medical coverage or non profits for sliding scale counselors.

I appreciate your opinions and understand how it could be your thinking, and I have been going over just that same stuff in my mind. The only time I have asked for any help from my son is when my husband has fallen and he is next door to pick him up. That is only when he is speaking with us and the rest of the time I call the fire dept. They are nice and tell me not to try and do it. If he comes down on his tractor and mows the lawn it is on his own., I hug him and am very grateful. Maybe this will tell you....one time the neighbor between us called us as his wife fell. This man is disabled too and called us by mistake as our name is the same as our son's. I would not let my husband go up and pick her up, and called our son to go. The next morning, our son came down in a rage against us and yelling that they should have called someone else. I just didn't want my husband to walk up the hill as he is not able. Why did this son's wife go into a rage when the brother asked him to help him move some furniture with his truck? This was when both sons were living in RI. So many things that I can't write on here that have gone down over the years and I know that it could seem like it is between me and them, but it isn't. Our retired mailman has been very nice as he knows the neighborhood, and I think that he is the only one besides our son in RI that knows. This mailman has been coming and taking the trash to the landfill. I try to do all that I can. I take it myself at times and I always pay for it after, but try every once in a while. It is hard with a car. Our son has to go right by the house.with his trash, every sat morning. It is so funny as this has been ongoing for over 30 years. It is a mental problem with the dil, for sure, but all I can do is keep to myself. We do hire all the work done. Have not asked for anything and he has done whatever on his own. In fact I tell him not to do things when my husband asks him to. Why is he the way he is to his brother ? He avoids any contact with him as if he is afraid to be friends. You see there is a lot more here. I do want to talk with someone about it and tell it all. I have nothing to hide. I want help for my son as I believe that he is being abused. When they lived in RI when we were there too, he would come over crying . She made him sell the land that his grandfather left him, his brother and us and sell their house, quit his job that my husband got him on the RR and move down here with no job. He has told us that he cannot look right or left when driving as he is looking at girls. This is all stuff that I hate to talk about, but I just wish it was out so something could be done for all. One reason I wanted to be here is I know we would never see our son if we did not. They have no children, but the younger son has two and they did not ever have their Uncle . It isn't just us. He is not allowed any friends or relatives. We can't afford to move now at our age. I have my sewing with all my materials to be creative and we could be happy if we had someone to do the yard and some maintanance , but the expence is too much so we are just leaving it. I have always been a homemaker and made just about every thing that my family had., so we can manage. Saving instead of buying is my way. .I have been hurt so many times with my son coming to me in a rage and accusing me of saying or doing something just about every time I have any contact with his wife, from the very beginning of his relationship with her. I try to be good to her, like one time I asked them over for dinner, and while we were eating our younger son popped in with his family. They all left and we are alone and the doorbell rang and our son cam in... lit into me saying that I set it up for the two brothers to get together. Now I think our son is afraid to put her in her place for some reason. We retired from RI , sold our home there, traveled for a few years and they encouraged us to build on this lot. She even came down and was looking the land over and being very nice about it. I wish I could just have someone to help me with this as it is hard to cope with. There is a church in the neighborhood and they are recently into it, in a big way. The number plate on their truck and jeep say Jesus on it. I think they are looking for help. I can only tell what I know and I pray like I am in writing this article to you nice people.

I try to be very independent esp. since the husband died-and appreciate all the help I get -a person needs to do this if you have to depend on others you need to find a way to give back or find a way to change-where you live or whatever needs to be done even though it might not be what you want at the time.

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time with your son. It's unfortunate things went sour for whatever reason. Your son sounds like he's having a hard time coping with something. Maybe he's having marital or financial problems.
My mom moved close to my adult son in the same condo complex, and I only live 8 mi away. She thought he and I were the unpaid help. We could never go to her place without having to fix something, buy something for the condo, finish a project or worse yet totally do the project. Never said thank you, just watched the home improvement show on cable all day thinking of more stuff for us to do. No family member escaped being called upon. Believe me, it got to be a huge problem. All of us became resentful, started avoiding her when possible and voiced our opinions loud and clear. She probably took it as elder abuse knowing her. We told her if she couldn't complete the project herself, she could hire someone. We had hit our limit. I'm not saying this is what is going on with you, leothebird1, but you might want to see if you're depending too much on your son. Just a thought.
I agree with naheaton, it's probably time to move someplace where you can get help. Sometimes, things just don't turn out like we expect. It's time to move on the Plan B. Can you go to credit counseling and get your bills consolidated? That would be a load off your mind. Can your other son get you set up with something and then turn it over to you so as not to burden him?
You can unload here all you want. It'll help to get it out. Good luck!

We have just one younger son, and he understands as he has received the same rejection as well. Much hurt for him also. Yes, the wife does not allow him to help us or his brother or anyone with the exception of her folks that live nearby. When he seems to be allowed to come, every so often like a few times a year maybe, he is elated to be helping us. It is the strangest thing. He is a very loving man and seems to be under a lot of stress. I know that if I did no live here, I would never see him again. It isn't just his parents that he keeps away from. We did not think that he would abuse me emotionally even if we are alone, like when his Dad was in the hospital with heart surgery and he was asking me if I had someone to do the yard yet etc.. I was very traumatized all the way up to the hospital and back for a long time and he would not get me groceries or anything.. It is like he had to be mean to his mom because he might love me. Right now, we are trying to make monthly payments and it is hard as the cc cards are taking a lot. I have often thought of just going to sleep and not waking up. I just cry every day as my husband is not able to get around hardly at all and I have to take meds for pain from a lot going on in my spine etc. It does me good to let this out. Lue

I'm wondering what your other kids say about their brother's behavior. Is this no surprise to them? Maybe they can help you make the move to be closer to them. Something is sticking in your son's craw, could it be his wife not wanting him to help you? Either way, I guess if it were me, I'd get the bottom of it, and find out what the problem is. If he's just plain tired of having to keep tabs on his parents, then there's only one thing you can do, move. Maybe it's time for an asst living place back in R.I. and not expect your kids to be so much 'hands on'. Good luck.

My husband and I decided to build a home down the street from our older son in SC. They were supportive of this so we decided to build as we did not want to live in RI where we have lived before retirement. That was about thirteen years ago and since then we have both become disabled. Every day we are both feeling very depressed as we don't know where to get help for doing the yard, waste disposal, and repairs. This son has done good deeds off and on, but for issues that I know not, he will pick a reason to not speak or acknowledge us. This is an ongoing thing for about thirty years of his marriage. When he decides , he will come down and really berate me or his dad, mostly me and it makes me feel sick. The last time I told him that what he is doing is elder abuse and he left and I haven't seen him since. I love him, but can't have anymore to do with him. I need someone to talk with about this as there is much that I haven't expressed about the abuse. All our family other than this son, is in RI and we would like to move back up there to be near the grandkids and a younger son. We have had to go in debt with credit to pay for home repairs and medical stuff, so we are having a hard time with meeting our monthly payments. People tell us that this home is not good for us to live in as we both have problems with getting around. Any suggestions would be welcome. Thank you, Lue