thanks for the touching story about touch! It's critically important to everyone's health, and in particular those who live with dementia

Update: my Father passed peacefully on 11/27. My husband , daughter and I took him out to dinner in Thanksgiving. It was his last meal. What better meal than a turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and green bean casserole.

my issue is my sister can no longer talk on the phone ...Parkinsons...I cant understand her...we text but is there any other way to communcate. we live states away . I visit as often as I can, but I miss our talks so badly.

I read a book called, "Talking To Alzheimer's" sorry, don't remeber the author. It addressed ways to alter usual communications patterns that we have come to accept as "proper or polite" which are not appropriate for persons in various stages of Alz. I was able to help my nieces and nephews understand Gram's inability to follow conversations and answer questions. It was very helpful learning how to effectively word statements rather than ask questions.

this has all been very interesting. our problem was from a different angle. my wonderful, brave, and upbeat husband was paralyzed throughout his body. that included his tongue. no speaking for many, many years. that didn't mean everyone should just stop talking to him, [like most people didn't]. quite the contrary. i would talk more and more to him about everything in this world with a happy possitive and excited tone and smile. he loved it when i'd get him up in the morning. just to hear me talk. when i needed to have answers about doing the taxes, or banking, or election day, we had a system in which i'd ask, he'd blink for 'yes'. sometimes hughly frustrating of both of us. on occasion it would take hours to figure out what he wanted me to do about something important to him. if i felt myself going crazy, i'd get my daughter to take over for awhile. surprisingly, she could often get to the bottom of it within a few minutes. sometimes a caregiver just needs help. in the meantime, when someone can't communicate, talk - talk - talk! laugh and touch. get descriptive with words and smile with them. not speaking, but still thinking, feeling, wanting and loving. AND, blinks can go a long way for both of you. never give up. just get help. sooz

And...even when in a coma, they still hear you.

This article is right on. It is so important to "just be there" and even though a person has lost the ability to speak, they can still comprehend feelings. It is very important for the people who are providing care for the patient to continue to communicate the fact that they care about and respect the person, as well as using a gentle touch and quiet peaceful tone of voice. Thank you for providing good insight into this, as I'm sure the world becomes a scary place after the ability to speak is lost.

That is true! My dad's LTC home had a massage therapist come in regularly. He almost purred!

It is a good topic when my husband was healthy we took a class on massage for couples to learn what each other liked and how to give good massages. Now that he has Alzheimers I still give him those massages and it work to calm huim and get him to sleep. PS any massage therapist want to increase your practice and develop loyal clients offer a free session to a group of caregivers you will develop some loyalty like you have never ever seen before!

This is an interesting topic. For caregivers, there are lessons in Jill Bolte Taylor's book, My Stroke of Insight.
In it, she explains the difference between left-brain, logical linear thought, and right brain holistic emotions and feelings. The right brain knows your emotions, and when the left brain shuts down, or off, the Fight or Flight response kicks in and stress ensues. If you approach care recipients with a soft, gentle approach they will understand your intent and feel your positive thoughts.Caregivers and mental, or Primary Care service providers must be fully present with their clients. If there is a left brain injury this presence is a comforting influence on the care recipient.