I really believe the younger generation of men will be more educated and experienced with caregiving then their fathers and grandfathers.

Today more men are hands-on care of babies and toddlers, compared to decades ago. Heavens, guys are in the delivery room instead of pacing the floor in the maternity waiting room. I do volunteer work at the hospital and there is a blood test that newborns need within 3 days after birth... it is so refreshing to see guys coming in with their newborns without the baby's mothers at their side... thus they have all the information for registration :)

I've known many men who are excellent caregivers. The role still generally goes to the woman (if one is available) but that's cultural. It's more about the personality of the caregiver than the gender. I do think men need extra support because there are fewer males going through the emotional turmoil than there are women. Still, we are caregivers which is our main bond.

Carol

Men are certainly capable of being good caregivers it's just that many men won't think of doing it. We are used the the women doing all these thing for us. I don't know the exact figures, but this site must be populated 95 percent by women. In my case I had no choice as the only surviving sibling to age ing parents. The first time I cleaned up my mom and helped her with her depends was an eye opener. Not to mention bathing her and all the rest. If I were to be totally honest I would much rather has a sister,aunt, anyone else to deal with this. But alas, there's just me. I know there are guys out there like me who are taking their share of the burden. The experience with my parents has really opened my eyes to what most women deal with. I see many posts here from women care for hubby's parents. I would never expect my wife to be responsible for my parents care and she wouldn't in any event. She has been a great help to me and my folks to be sure, but the heavy lifting is on me. As they are my parents that's the way it should be.

juan,
i dont agree with you that men can do some caregiving tasks better than women . i think men , on a case by case basis are capable of doing as good of a job but gender just does not give anyone an advantage . women have their strong points , men have theirs , but im sorry , in my mind both genders are equals until proven otherwise .
i will say one thing about todays " young " women . they seem so anxious to dispel the traditional stereotypes that many of them find shame in being a wife , mother , and homemaker . this is rather sad because imo , homemaking is an indispensable and proud function and society is worse off for having lost this tradition .
single mothers can kiss my a** if they think theyre doing a well rounded job . ive seen too many young men who lacked a positive male model in their lives . the ones who used to do masonry work with us would get out an electric drill and attempt to drill screw holes in angle irons . i simply couldnt bear to watch . they snapped off drill bits faster than we could buy them . i feared theyd puncture an eyeball with those broken drill bits .
im mixed on this . i think men and women need each other , but the theme being taught in our colleges is women dont need anyone . bull!!

I think this a letter is to my husband,, for many months i did this alone, not sure if you ever realized how much i was losing myself, but lately, here you are my partner, my friend, helping in everyway you can,, i love and respect your helping me through this journey believing you are truly with me makes me know i can on. and i just want you to know ,, you are my EVERYTHING..

You are right all around, and unfortunately, you have way too much company with this issue. This is how it works. Tag! You are it! The rest of the family has no guilt, as Mom is being cared for. If they can take advantage of you, they will. You can't force them to pay, so they won't.

You are right to ask. I would tell them that if they can't help financially, and also help enough so you have time to deal with your own health issues, you are turning it over to Social Services. They will take over. Also, you may have to tell them you will let the courts decide her guardian, and they will determine everything about her money. That is the truth. They will. She likely qualifies for Medicaid.

Hopefully, you won't have to go through this. If you tell them this, and mean it, maybe they will anti-up. If not, go on your state web site, look for something on aging services, and call them. Tell them your situation and ask what programs are in place, locally, to help you. Each state is different.

Please keep letting us know how you are doing. It does help to talk it out.
Blessings,
Carol

help, what should i do? when my mother had a stroke in nov. of 2007 i was living
in miami bch. I gave up my job and moved in with my mother in texas, I'am her
primary care giver because none of my siblings would do it (three brothers and a
niece and nephew) they all live near her. now I've been taking care of mom for a
little bit over one year. all my siblings talk about chipping in money to pay for a caregiver or come by and help with cooking and bathing and all that stuff when she
was in the hospital. but they have done absolutely nothing. am i wrong to ask them
to pay me say 300.00 a mos? I ask for 50 a wk. but they wont. I love my mother,
she has always been there for me (bad or good) but I'am broke, no job and thinkin
about leaving. I have health issues myself. I'am so mad and disgusted with my
family, I'am stuck between a rock and a hard place and dont know what to do.
one of my brothers live here with mom and me but he don't do nothing but spend
the little savings my mother has. is it wrong to ask for access to her finances to
pay myself a little chump change for the things i might need? please help with
some feedback.