Was Mother's Day hard for anyone else?

My heart goes out to all who have responded to this question. We all hurt, although our circumstances may be different. Mother's Day, four years ago, was the last outing I had with my mom before she passed away on June 1. The first year after that, I was so numb I didn't feel much. It was the second year after her death that every holiday and special family day hit me so hard. This Mother's Day, I made a point for my husband and me to stay home. He doesn't show his emotions, so it was easier for me to treat the day just like any other. I thought about my mom and tried to remember the good times we had, but I tried not to dwell on those thoughts for too long. I did remarkably well until Monday morning when a friend called to tell me of the death of someone who has been a very special part of my life. That sent me into a nosedive, and I am trying to work through all of the emotions that have surfaced. Knowing I am not the only one who has a difficult time on Mother's Day and that I am not the only one who has experienced the loss of loved ones makes me feel guilty, but it also strengthens me. It is comforting to come here and to know I will be understood. Thank you to all.

My mother is 87 and can be hard to handle at times and I moan & complain , my brother rarely even calls and my sister isnt really available but I cherish every holiday,especially mothers day with her. She is kinda funny wanting to do things for ME, rallying my kids and getting them all together. Lifes hard with her sometimes and sometimes l think my brother & sister think theyre getting something over on me by not being around...but when l really think about it...its their loss.

My mother is 87 and can be hard to handle at times and I moan & complain , my brother rarely even calls and my sister isnt really available but I cherish every holiday,especially mothers day with her. She is kinda funny wanting to do things for ME, rallying my kids and getting them all together. Lifes hard with her sometimes and sometimes l think my brother & sister think theyre getting something over on me by not being around...but when l really think about it...its their loss.

When my mother died, I literally cried (sobbed) every day for a year when I was alone in my house. As the first-year anniversary of her death approached, I asked a lady in a small prayer group at my church, "How do I get over this?" Her answer has sustained me: "You'll never get over it. You'll get through it."

This was my first Mother's Day since Mom passed. I started to buy her a card and then remembered she is no longer here. It has been five months since Mom and Dad passed, just nine days apart. I am beginning to realize that when we care for aging parents (Mom 100 and Dad 95), they become like children to us. I fed them and helped them bathe. I took them to the doctor and the dentist and tucked them into bed at night. When Mom and Dad died, it was not like losing parents, it was like losing children. I have realized that my grief has been different than if my parents had not lived with us and I had not cared for them so deeply. Caretaking was so very stressful and I really anticipated that I would feel a sense of relief when they passed. The memories I have of them, though, are not those of parents. When I pass by their old bedroom I think of the nights Mom wandered in and out of bed. Their bathroom reminds me of bowel problems and struggles over bathing. Perhaps as time passes, these memories will fade and I will remember then once again as parents. For now, though, the memories of their dependence and need are the most vivid.

I still have my mom but my dad died about 15 years ago. I was a daddys girl and it hit me hard, especially at Christmas. I too would look for a gift for daddy only to realize he was gone. The second Christmas without him I took the money l would have spent and made & filled stockings for a nursing home, just stuff like combs, tissues, pens,etc. They loved it, especially the ones who didnt get company. When my older brother died l chose to pick a name off the "angel tree" for a needy child. My kids, and now grandkids, have enjoyed this with me. Its not like having dad back but l think he'd approve and smiles.

I wanted to respond to a recent answer on this subject. My Mom was the center of communication for the whole family, (we were pretty spread out in the 80s and 90s.)
My father even predicted it. He said just watch when ypur mother is gone, everyone will go away, let loose. She was the one who held us together even thru the devastating problems in all of our lives. When she did pass away in 1999 from esophagus cancer, the phone went silent, it rsined for teo days and my very first feeling of isolation kicked in
Mom was the Hub)! just saying i understand...

Just wanted to add that my first Mother's Day without my mother, I wore one of her dresses to church. It was a little big but I didn't care. Somehow it helped having her close to me like that.

Judy journeys, that brings a smile to my face) I wish I had asked my stepfather at my mom's memorial if I could have taken home a couple of her dresses. but it just didnt seem to be the right time to ask. My sister flew back out there 2 weeks later and took all of moms clothes and stuff.I only ended up with a music box i had given to her many, many years ago. It still brings tears to my eyes, but i wouldnt part with it for all the money in the world)

Thank you guys, all of you that came to my aide, and shared your stories. I thought I was alone. At least now I know full well now that I am not. No matter what our situations, now I know even a "Hallmark" holiday can make us think deeper. Kinda hard sometimes, hugh? Thank you all for answering me, letting me know I'm not alone.

Mother's Day was kind of a blur for me - Mom was in ICU for 4 days with congestive heart failure and a-fib, then a pacemaker put in, and was moved to a nursing home for rehab and therapy on Mother's Day - but my mind was still very aware of the fact that my estranged 23-year-old son did not call me for Mother's Day for the first time, ever. I wasn't expecting him to, but it still hurt. Some part of me holds out a faint hope that he will call sometime, I guess. My other 2 kids did call, which made my day better.

My two kids havent called me for 5 years..it still hurts..I understand..