Both parents have had combination of strokes or heart issues. Our son says he has no desire to cause them unnecessary emotional or mental harm that could result in physiological harm, and he is okay if he never sees them again. They are highly opinionated against LGBTQ. But it is so sad as they will be moving in with us, which means we won’t be able to invite him home for holidays, etc.
Aren't your priorities to care for and have a relationship with your children? Don't your parents have a care plan for their old age?
They have had a lifetime to plan for their old age? Why do they think that YOU are the plan?
Never.
If your parents freak out at the sight of your son, they don’t need to be living with you.
If you don’t mind answering...
When you say your son is transgender- do you mean the traditional definition of - he was born male but feels “mis-assigned” and identifies as a woman?
Has he told you if his intentions are to transition to female? Is planning sex reassignment in the future?
Are you prepared to accept his identity as female, thus referring to your child as a daughter rather than a son? Is it his wish that you do so?
How old is your son?
I ask these questions as I think how you accept his transgender is critical to how you might expect his grandparents to accept it. But, above all - I think it’s important to know and consider what your sons expectations and wishes are.
Because -
I have a lot of friends - as well as a stepdaughter- who are LGBTQ+. Probably more than I do “straight”.
I feel safe and certain in saying that no matter what they might initially say - “I don’t care what ____ thinks” that they do in fact, care. And, what’s more - they long for the support and unconditional love of their family. Especially, their parents.
Something to consider when thinking about moving your parents in and therefore moving your now daughter out via exclusion rather than inclusion on holidays and family events. Even if she says it’s okay - that it doesn’t matter. Cause, trust me - it does.
This is your much loved son. It is absolutely ADMIRABLE that he wishes to cause them no harm, but there isn't a reason in the world he should not be welcome in his/your home for a holiday. Your son gets my hero badge of the day.
Getting old is no excuse for being intolerant. Yes, we become set in our ways, but that doesn't make it OK. Never "co" intolerance and ignorance, no matter what age or mentation carries it into your life.
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