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He lives with us. He is 84 widowed for 4 years, met her at church, 3x divorced. Has spent over 500K on this woman in the last year. Home, trips, credit card, etc. He and my husband have had several arguments haven't spoken in a month. He knows it's not appropriate, doesn't care. Doesn't care he is burning through his life savings. His expectation is we will pickup the pieces if he doesn't have any money. Our retirement plan did not included supporting 84 year old fool and his girl friend.

Why does he live with you?

I would be in favor of eviction. He clearly can support himself.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 31, 2019
Barb,

Me too! Smart answer.
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Have you done a background check on the harlot? It may be that she already has a record with the police (for 'elder defrauding' schemes). She could be a con artist with many aliases, please have a private detective check her out. Good luck.
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BarbBrooklyn gave my favorite response. Sorry, but I would now be doing an eviction notice. If he is well enough to do this then he is well enough to live with her or to live on his own with his money. Not sure how much is left after he spent 500,000 on her, but I would see to it he spends the rest on his own room and board somewhere else. You say he is in his right mind? Then he needs to take his right mind to live somewhere else. At that point it is honestly no business of yours WHAT he does with his money as long as he enjoys himself and doesn't expect anyone to pick up the pieces.
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I think you WILL wind up picking up the pieces of the mess he's made once the gold digger ditches him. We ALWAYS pick up the pieces of the messes they make, let's face it. Oh, we talk a good game......we're not gonna do this or that, yet we do, because in reality, who else WILL? God help us all.

Set up a come-to-Jesus meeting at your house between Ms. Gold Digger & Daddy right away. Let them BOTH know that since Daddy bought her a house, he has to move in with her immediately, so she can begin caring for him in their new place! His money will be running out shortly and the 6K per month she's blowing on crapola needs to be spent on HIS care now, that's just how it goes. She will proceed to dump him in short order and you can then SELL the house he bought her, recoup some of that wasted $$$$, and get the situation back under control!

That's what I'd do, if it were me, because he's thinking with his small head now & past the point of no return. Men. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em. But you CAN get rid of their gold-diggin' girlfriends if you play your cards right!

Best of luck!!!
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pamzimmrrt Jul 29, 2019
I love this, but if the house he bought is in her name, the family may not be able to sell it.. it may be legally hers, and that sucks! And yes,, we always do seem to pick up the pieces.. But I am all about the family meeting with her,, but I bet she wont show.. LOL
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He feels so young again, he's got a mommy and daddy paying his living expenses, washing his dirty underwear, fixing his meals and he can spend all his money on his new hoochie. Yep, second childhood.

Time to grow up son, get out! And have that whore earn that money.

My dad lost every penny in a similar situation, one difference being that I absolutely refused to help him in any way as long as she benefited one penny.

He was mad as a wet hen, tough, because I guarantee it was nothing compared to how I felt about paying for his whore.

Dirty old men
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VictoriaD Jul 29, 2019
The hardest part, is my husband has lost the father that he looked up to and admired. I personally would kick him to the curb and not look back. Yes, I'm that ticked off. We went into debt to purchase a new home big enough to allow him to move in with us. He has alienated all six of his grandchildren. You do not tell your Grand "Daughters" about your hot girlfriend. It is just wrong and gross.
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Get your local Adult Protective Services on her. They might be able to scare her off with threats of prosecution for elder financial abuse. Has your dad had his cognitive skills tested?
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Start charging him yo Dollar for living in your home, or tell him to move in with his girlfriend that he's supporting and see how long that last
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AT1234 Aug 1, 2019
Retroactive rent.
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I'm a Late Middle-Age physician who has been too Cynical to settle down. 500K?!? I would give him a good supply of Viagra (if not contraindicated-and if he even needs it) and send him to the Mustang Ranch in Nevada! I doubt that even President Trump spends that much on casual "friends."
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NeedHelpWithMom Aug 1, 2019
Doc,

Too funny 😂!!! I love your wicked sense of humor.
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She has a ‘sugar daddy’! My FIL was sugar daddy to a woman for 25 years! For some reason it makes them feel important but in reality they are being used.

The first time we heard my FIL call her by the pet name he called my sweet MIL, we wanted to throw up.

My FIL was down right cheap before being with her. Didn’t spend a penny more than he had to. She came along and he emptied his pockets.

MIL didn’t even have a housekeeper when she was dying from non Hodgkin’s lymphoma. He was too cheap! I cleaned for her. But he hired a housekeeper for her. Sickening!

Oh wait, he was very frugal with grocery shopping. She comes along and buying organic everything. That is, produce for salad, she made it clear that she wasn’t going to cook. They ate out all the time.

It’s so interesting to see a true character change in some men when this happens after being with women like this.

Thank God he saved money for assisted living because he sure as hell isn’t going to be staying with us.

We have my mom living here now. One parent is enough. Plus mom has always been in our lives. She is deserving.

He checked out of our lives to be with her. Glad he found a place to live. If money runs out at the ALF, oh well...My husband already said that he would not be willing to take him in even if my mom wasn’t here.
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lealonnie1 Jul 30, 2019
My parents were married for 68 years. A couple of days after dad died, a man in the ALF rolled up to my mother and asked her if she'd like to go on a cruise with him. She was a blushing young girl again at the age of 88, all giggly and batting her eyes, telling everyone who'd listen that she was Invited On a Cruise. It was like she'd forgotten all about what just transpired in the hospital bed in her apartment, watching her husband take his last breaths. It was all I could do not to strangle her right then and there. She was showing not one ounce of respect for my father or his memory and boy howdy, that pissed me off BIG time. She had some nerve!! Then I realized something......it was THEIR marriage and THEIR business, not mine. My father's memory would be respected and kept alive in MY heart and mind forever. How my mother chose to comport, or not comport, herself was HER issue.....much as your father in law's behavior belonged and belongs to HIM. You dwelling on this situation isn't going to change anything...whats done is done and its all on HIM. Your mother in law will always be alive in your heart forever, as it should be, and that's all that counts.
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I don't think the issue is whether or not he has found a new woman in his life. It is more a matter of him blowing through all his money and then expecting someone (children) to be there to pick up the pieces when the money is gone. My ex divorced me after 38 years of marriage. He blew through a million dollar inheritance from his uncle taking his "soul mate" ( 23 years younger than him, married with 2 boys) and her children on trips, going to theater, buying her and her family expensive gifts. He now has no money and wonders aloud what will happen to him when he is older (he is 78 now!). My son and granddaughter have made it clear that I will always have a home with them but they never say that about their (Grand)dad.
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