How can I convince my slightly senile, stubborn Dad that he just moved in a very cunning, penniless, serial golddigger?

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My Mother died 5 years ago after a long illness that drained both me and my father of a certain amount of emotional strength. 3 years ago my 75-year old father took up with a 61-year-old, penniless woman he met at his yacht-club bar (after going thru 3 - that I know of - similar women at same bar), and has since began & developed a twisted, sexually-based, emotionally sadomasochistic relationship with her that has this past month spiraled into the depths. It would be almost funny if it wasn't so serious. I have cried myself to sleep almost every night since then from my remote motel room (I work on the road). My dying mother promised me (an only child) a good deal of inheritance that they both worked to build as an estate -- we are/were all hard-working engineer-types. Over the 3 years I have stood by (in and around my various stints on the road) and watched this conniving woman take mortar and brick out of this promise, one by one. I kept my mouth shut and even endured her zingers to my face about my career and roadie lifestyle (behind his back, naturally) for these 3 years -- I watched the new expensive car, the endless expensive meals out (I do not exaggerate, often with her friends and family included on his tab), the European vacation, the apartment of her own because she couldn't afford the rent (actually, her roommate also probably didn't like the drinking/sex nights), and now the inevitable -- the she couldn't afford the rent anymore on her place and moved in with him. She now complains her back hurts from her nursery-school job ( = her health is poor from excessive eating & drinking) and I know quitting her job and spending both his & Mom's SS (then marriage) is next.

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Coyote,
As a fellow engineer I know you are or should be making more than $70k a year, you are 53, so you must be experienced. I assume you are Civil, I am EE, working in tech sales instead. Focus on your career, your earning potential is way above what you are spending your energy on. Let go, let dad have his girl, even if you do not care for her. Focus on your relationship with your husband, focus on your career. I have no idea what your rights, to this trust are, if you must pursue that do so at the expense of what is left of your relationship with your father....all for less than a year's engineering salary.

Allow yourself to let go of this, it is eating away at you....move on. Be happy.
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I keep seeing the figure $70,ooo. and then hearing it;s small trust, etc. For some of the people here that amount would be life changing. It seems it would be for you also. Take the job in Tx, and keep your sanity by getting a copy of the Trust and letting your lawyers fight this battle. If they are involved, they are gonna take a chunk, but you should get something :)
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My husband is disabled, but not enough to get SSI.
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coyote, your comments are confusing. You say you are alone, yet last month you mentioned you had a husband. Yesterday you said you have no lawyer to help you but a couple days ago you said you had two lawyers helping you. There are other things that just don't add up.

I wish you luck.
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Coyote, you are beyond beside yourself. Review the Trust as advised and take that job in Fort Worth. Right now you just need to put some distance between yourself and this couple. While you are close you are trying to interpret every move and honestly behaving like a spurned lover and you know better than that. Your Mom knew what she was doing when she set up that Trust. No one becomes a drunken playboy over night you Mom knew something. Did you ever see Mom's will? maybe take a look at that, there are probably some clues there.
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I signed on again. He claims he is the trustee. He is holding it to the arbitrary age of my being 59, for whatever outlandish reason. I am 53. (yeh, I know my photo was taken when I was 46.) My mother, who set aside the money from her own earnings, has been dead since 2009. I guess you can see I am stuckw/o a lawyer -- I need the money now to get an apt. near a big city, a real engineering job, and starting to make the real wheels of justice turn for both my Dad and I.
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Ok well I wish you well. If you are beneficiary of a trust, It is easy to collect what is yours by going to the person, not your father, who holds the trust. A trustee by law is suppose to distribute the trust by the wishes of the person who set it up. Good luck.
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To heck with it -- I'll see you guys in the morning before I hit the contracting circuit again.
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Sorry to pick on drinking -- I too drink a couple beers or glass of wine or two, but not to the point where it interrupts my abstract, objective or existential thinking.
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As I said, when it's time to leave a drunk (and/or narcissistic deluded person, of any age), it's time to leave just that.
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