My "whine moment today." What's yours?

CINDY LAUPER: GOODBYE TO YOU - -2020 !!!

Hope Nostradamus' prediction is off a bit... I should look it up. Some saidhe predicted 2021 was bad... He may have been a bit late on that.

Yes, you get the burn out after you shop, put away, prepare, serve and clean up, let alone everything else you do. My mother is a diabetic but eats like a pig every two hours. I don’t even try and monitor her food anymore as it’s not worth the fight. Get the fast food and you go for a healthier alternative at that place. I have to shop every few days to keep up with her appetite and she is only a bit overweight and I have put on 14lbs since I started looking after her because I have no life. Must admit a lot of my calories come from wine. I also make big batches of spaghetti sauce and chilli etc and put in freezer for when I can’t face the kitchen. Good luck and I hope both our new years are better, i.e. she goes into care.

My whine of the day.... I am a member of the Next Door group where neighbors can write about anything of interest, lost pets, found pets, covid-19 tests, stuff for sale, recommend a repair person, etc.

What irks me big time is that too many readers who do "answer" posts do not read the previous postings. Like, can't they spare a few minutes to read the 4 or 5 answers above? Like when a pet is missing and later found, there will always be someone who ask the next day "has the pet been found?" Ah, hello, why do you think there are answers says bravo, good news, etc, just above your post? [no, I don't post that, but do think that].

I know that whine is minor in today's world. Maybe I need to disconnect from NextDoor to give my OCD brain a break :)

Just found out my mom has breast cancer :(
she had a diagnostic ultrasound today and goes for the biopsy next Friday. My dad was diagnosed with stage 1 bladder cancer in late October and now this!!! 2021 hasn’t even started and already the year is sh*t!!

This has been a weird day. this morning I opened Facebook and saw a post in a local group for people who grew up in my city, announcing the death of someone who I believe is my fathers biological older brother. All I day I have been thinking about it. My dad was born to a man in the military and a woman who was a hot mess apparently. Smoked and drank heavily. My father and I believe his sister were sexually abused by the older brother. Their dad left when my dad was maybe 3 at the oldest. His dad eventually was stationed in Germany, married a German woman and had 5 kids with her. He died Christmas Day 1976 of cancer. My dad connected with one of his half siblings 2 years ago after taking an ancestry DNA test. Anyway.....my dads mother lost custody of the 3 kids when my dad was around 7. I think they were all split up. My dad went to a foster family eventually and his bio mother died (was smoking in bed, fell asleep and started a fatal fire) when he was in his 20s I think? Maybe he was a teenager. Either way he never saw her again after she lost custody. The last time my dad spoke to his brother was when I was born. He called his brother to tell him and his brother said “why are you calling me”. His sister, we have never been able to find trace of her. Ironically, my godmother who was our next door neighbor for 13 years, grew up next to my dads sister and knew her. But no one has been able to find her in decades. Anyway this man who died this morning has the same name as my dads brother. I THINK my dads brother had the same name as their dad. Very common last name, very uncommon first name. The age matches up, this man is 10 years older than my dad. But I keep thinking maybe they didn’t have the same name. I seem to recall that my dads siblings had a different dad....and all of this could have been cleared up with a phone call to my mom but I did not want to open a can of worms! I know my dad would be upset to find out his bio brother died! I cannot find a FB page for the man or his wife, I was hoping to find pictures & see if there is a family resemblance. And it sticks out in my mind that this man went to the private boys school and still had the same last name. His last name should have Changed if he was opted. So maybe it’s not my dads bio brother. And now my mom has called with the cancer news.....and I feel so numb! Don’t want to do anything. Need to call and order dinner but it feels like there is a force around me that won’t let me do it. I just cannot process this.

worriedInCA - so sorry to hear about your mom's cancer. Hoping for good news when she goes in for biopsy. And what a story your family has. It must be so hard for your dad to lose his parents then be split up from his bio siblings. Perhaps, a picture of the man who just passed away will surface and you can confirm one way or the other if he was your dad's older brother.

I'd be feeling numb too if I were in your shoes.

f cancer 😠
f covid😠
f 2020😠

My dad’s has concerning health problems and the DPOA, my lazy brother who is supposed to be caregiver, left town to be with a “friend” in the middle of a strict area-mandated lock down. Dad sounded terrible, so will be making an 80 mile round trip tomorrow to drive him to appointment at urgent care. If brother stayed home per county law, it would have been a 16 mile round trip for him.

Don’t know if this is a manipulation from dad so I’ll be the only caregiver, or brother is so nasty and heartless. Dad did tell me he believes brother is lazy today. That was a first from my dad. Anything is possible; tired of being fooled.

I told my dad one way to give him a push to help would be to hand over my brother’s share of valuable family property to me. It would give me a leg up to negotiate with brother or keep it if he plans on being lazy.

It was taken away because I wasn’t a full-time caretaker. See link : https://www.agingcare.com/questions/has-anyone-just-cut-run-from-crazy-unreasonable-parents-459528.htm?orderby=recent

In 2020, we were daily presented the images of a Covid spikeball image with every imaginable interpretation of the dangers, or fake dangers, warnings, orders, changes to orders, exceptions to orders!

Having thus been brainwashed, (or it was an unrelenting effort at brainwashing the public) we are expected to embrace the Covid starburst represented by the fireworks explosions as a
C E L E B R A T I O N ???? What celebration??

Check out those starbursts in the sky....illegal and just out of reach for the public....

Bye 2020. 🤬😡😒

Update: 2020 is not over yet. 911 paramedics are taking a neighbor away.

Oh, Cali

I am so very sorry about your mom’s cancer.

It’s very hard to process a cancer diagnosis of someone that we love.

I will keep you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers.

Your dad has lived quite a life. I hope you find the answers that you are looking for.

I wish that you didn’t have to face the new year with this heavy burden.

Please take care of yourself in the midst of all of this.

Keep us posted. We care.

Don't hold back C Willie, tell us how you really feel. LOL

Happy New Year!

It's not working...
I am trying to click "LIKE" on Cwillie's comment, over and over again....
but I guess we still get only one click.

Cali, so sorry to read the hard news about your mom's diagnosis. Ugh. The only "positive" is that today's treatments and therapies are so much better than they've ever been and can provide better outcomes. Regarding the mystery man who might have been your uncle...if you know anyone with an Ancestry.com account they can perhaps do a little sleuthing for you? That's how I found out I had a half sister and brother. My neighbor plugged in my family info and viola. I sincerely pray for peace in your heart and a good prognosis for your mom.

Geaton,

Which do you prefer? Ancestry or 23 and me?

I want to do one or both. I started working on my family tree.

NHWM, my daughter did 23&me. She was somewhat disappointed as she did jot get as much information as she thought she would have received from Ancestry.

Got my shingles booster yesterday so would have three days of weekend to recover in case of flu like reaction. I feel ok, but kinda achy all over.

Bought fixings for gumbo today. Will see if i feel like fixing it, might be tomorrow, even found file, (ground sassafras leaves).

Glad,

You’re speaking my language! Gumbo!

NHWM, many years ago I did an Ancestry spit test because I knew my mom's side history (Italian/European heritage) but nothing at all about my father's side. My mom's very thin knowledge was that his family was "Old American" as in off-the-Mayflower. I was very surprised to find that I had inherited 20% Indigenous genes. So I think the Old American story is true, as in my father's family were probably pioneers who intermingled with the native Americans in that area. Those services give much more detail now than what I got. I don't know anything about 23andMe.

Geaton,

Thanks for info. I am such a ‘wanna be’ Italian! I love Italian food. I did learn how to cook it for my husband.

I did marry an Italian. My husband’s family was from Italy, France and Spain.

My experience was similar to you. I know more about my mother’s family than my father’s family.

My dad’s mom and dad died before I was born. I knew some of daddy’s brothers. My dad did tell me that I looked like his mom but I never saw any photos of her.

Daddy’s family were from Scotland and Ireland.

Mom’s family were from England, Spain, Germany and France.

Now I have gone back to bed, achy and chills. No gumbo today from the looks of it.

NHWM do you make gumbo? Looks going in NO there must be plenty of options. Here, none. Any pointers? I have never made it before.

My whine for the day?
I am certain that my scale is lying to me.
I am pretty sure it is adding pounds.
In it's favor in the argument, the top button on the top of the jeans is difficult to close.
I am tempted toward a New Year's Resolution, but I hate failure.

$600 Stimulus check(s) are already in my bank account this morning, 1/01.

Commited to paying down the credit card so we can afford to live on our income this New Year!

Thank you all! This is a tough pill swallow and selfishly I feel very depressed as this is now the 4th year in a row that has started out hopeless. 2018 started out with the knowledge that my MIL would be gone by the end of the year. 6 weeks in to the new year we found out she’s be gone in 3 months. 2019 it was my FIL, in the hospital with cancer, not getting better and then going to the nursing home to die. 2020 was my mother & exacerbation of her COPD and drs telling her the end was here! 2021 both parents have cancer :(
anyway......yes today is more hope for cancer patients and all we can do is pray for the best outcome here and hope it was caught in time!

I was the first in my family to take an ancestry test. My mom has been working in a family tree for years and again all it would take is a phone call to her to ask if my dads brother shared the same name as his dad. But I don’t want to open that can of words and upset my dad if it is in fact his brother! I could swear they have the same name but I also seem to recall that my dad had a different dad than his siblings.....but I think that’s incorrect because I also seem to recall that the sister had the same last name as my dad! Anyway neither his brother or sister have ever taken an ancestry dna test BUT I have lots of distant cousin matches on my dads side. Some of them have profile pictures and there is one distance cousin who resembles my dad. I don’t recognize any of the last names on the matches either. I know what city my dads possible brother died in so I will be checking the obituaries. Now that I think about it, I may be able to publicly access some of the family tree info on ancestry so I’ll check that out in a bit.

WIC, are you now following covid precautions carefully and diligently to keep your folks safe? I know several instances of death being caused on ALL ages of people because they thought rules and regulations did not apply to them.

Sorry to read of health challenges in your family.

I slept two hours, guess I am not feeling that great.

GladImHere, my daughter and her hubby and her friend down the street ALL reacted to the shingles vacc. If that's it you should be OK in 24 48 hours. If it last longer, get tested, OK?
Cali, I hope this is a better year for you. And hope your Dad does great with his treatments.
SendHelp, one more person told me that she already has her stimulus check. A Facebook friend, she lost her home in the fires this last summer, in Oregon. Home and everything in it, but saved her Kitty and so grateful for that. My stimulus check is being given away this year. I have not suffered any loss due to the pandemic, and in fact have only saved by being locked away all this time. So many in need out there. Partner doing the same with his own.
I have hopes for the new year, because what else have we got, but I have low expectations for the first 6 months, and worry for us economically with massive deficits going forward.

My whine moment. I wonder if I have died am in hell, because some days, that's what this feels like. 😢
Thank you all for being here. 🤗

Thanks, Alva, I am feeling better. It probably is a reaction to the shingles booster.

Glad,

I have to get part two to the shingles vaccine this month.

The only reaction I had to the first one was slightly tired and being achy.

The first one for me was just a sore arm. The second one was different which I have heard if often the case.

Glad,

I don’t really follow a particular recipe for Gumbo. I wouldn’t even know measurements of anything.

I sort of copied what my mom and grandmother did. They were excellent dump and pour cooks.

I could look to see if a recipe online matches up to what I do.

Are you interested in chicken and sausage gumbo or seafood gumbo?

Sometimes people combine both. They do meat and seafood together. There are many variations.

Glad,

How is the second vaccine reaction different from the first one?

I am not looking forward to it. Grrrr.

Patty,

Caregiving is hard. I’m so sorry that you feel like you are in hell.

Vent all you like.