Do any of your caregivers take medication (anti-depressants) to help you be a caregiver?

Anyways with this post just keeps coming back....

I'm gonna make this short and sweett

So first time on antianxiety meds. I fell outta in love with husband #1.

Second try 20 yrs later, I'm falling more in love with husband #2

So seems antianxiety meds, are truth detectors for me

1 husband-jerk
2 husband - great guy

My response was for me only. I personally would not take a medication to cope, if there was an option. I realized I was not a caregiver at 65. I just could not deal with the unpredictability of Dementia. I guess I was lucky that I was able to place Mom in a nice AL and she acclimated well. So, for others, if there is no option then I guess finding the right med would be a good thing.

Hubby having the nerve to wag his finger at his overworked wife is a real prize. Good for you to rid yourself of him!

At This point, I personally choose not to medicate myself to manage the stresses of caregiving. I admit I’m really struggling and have reached out to counseling. It rubs me the wrong way that I use meds then the situation is tremendously lopsided for me to bear all the burden. My current goals (and actions) are to address the demands that are causing the stress. It’s a work in progress, I may or may not succeed but that’s where I am today. Tomorrow may be different. My admiration and respect to all of us in this journey. It is a hellish road.

Here is my whole story on antidepressants.

I had 4 boys, and a husband that was no help, had a good job but was a horrible over spender, and over eaters. I did everything, mowed the lawn everything that needed to be done for him and 4 boys

I was loosing it, as I think many in my situation would. Husband kept pushing me to go on meds. Even told the doctor I was nuts and he started pushing me. Did I need meds? Probably would of helped but what I needed more was help! What I needed more was the spending to stop . What I needed the most was for him to stop calling me crazy daily.

So I went on paxil, then that rebounded on the husband because, I just stopped caring about him at all. Then he started asking me every, did you take your pill, did you take your pill. You need more they aren't working. you need to go in somewheres figure out what's best cocktail of drugs for you.

Anyways he is my ex husband now! And is why I'm hesitant about prescription antianxiety meds

That is why I'm am such a firm believer that no one should push or tell someone else to go on them.

Tell your stories, be there for your friends , but never ever push someone either way. Push them to see there doctor, push them to get help

But never tell someone they should be taking something, or they shouldn't be, support them!!! Do not push them.

But stop the judging. Because you don't know what's really going on

My husband wanted me drugged up so he could control me better. And got are family doctor on his side.

To this day I will not see the same doctor my now husband sees.

I'm about ready to or at least anxiety agents and sleep aids.

I use gummies to sleep at least once/week. I do the exercise meditation etc stuff too, but sometimes my mind just won’t shut it. It’s such a relief to eat half a gummy and know I’ll be asleep soon

I just don't believe it's up to anyone to judge this either way. No one is in the others head.

And what if I'm talking to someone, telling them I don't do antidepressants, makes me sound like I think I'm better than them. What if because of what I said they go off there meds, and they loose it, or comment suicide.

What if I tell someone they definitely should be on meds, and they go on them and they have a bad reaction.

I could never live with myself, so I will never judge that either way

But if a friend came to me with problems and asked what I thought, I'd give them my best opinion

But I'll never say to someone, that may be acting a bit off , you should take a pill. It's just so wrong on so many levels to me

They are meds, they can be a life savior for some, they can not be good for others.

And there is the case that they may cause dementia. Which is pretty much what we all want to prevent.

I keep passing this post because its been pretty well responded to. But I have to say, if I had to medicate to care for someone, they would be placed in appropriate care.

As I've mentioned probably 200x times now, I am a believer in meds for anxiety and depression. I have both conditions. In my case it's hereditary. I see a lot of misinformation on here and it bothers me, because this misinformation can stop a person from getting help they truly need. Such as....

- Taking meds for mental health issues is NOT weakness or running from a problem. Problem isn't going to go away, but meds can keep you from being swallowed whole while you're dealing with problems. Why would you want to suffer when there's an option to lessen that suffering? You're not going to win a gold medal for suffering the most. 

- Thinking happy thoughts or just changing your attitude is not going to work. Yes it helps to think positively, but all the good thoughts or prayer or whatever cannot repair chemical issues in the brain. If you had diabetes, you wouldn't just wish for your pancreas to do its job. Your pancreas doesn't give two rusty nickels what mood you're in. If it can't do its job, you need to provide the help it needs. Same goes for brains. 

- Anxiety and depression aren't things you can tough out. Just slogging through it for years can kill you. Not hyperbole. 

- Times have changed. Meds aren't just for crazy people on the streets who mumble to themselves. No legit doctor wants to render their patient a drooling zombie. The goal is taking the edge off so you can function better. People think you take 'a pill' and then you're flying high, oblivious to anything bad in your life. This is just not true.

I am still struggling with this. I am so tired of stress and just don't want it anymore. 😂 I suspect I'm not the only one. Anyways everyone talks about how great they are

So I talked to my doctor and she put me on generic Zoloft, I did the whole half of pill , then the whole pill. Honestly it was rough. So so dopie. I could of cared less if I walked in front of a truck.

My problem is meds of any kind react very hard on me. So I rearly take anything other than an occasional Advil.

There are only a few cold meds I'll take. I'll never take Excedrin again! That was horrible. A muscle relaxer, I can't even pick my head of the couch. Coffee, only one cup in the morning, and alcohol 2 beers and I'm a puddle.

Back to the antidepressants, it really did help my anxiety, just the droopiness I can't do. So I talked to doctor she said only take half. So I did for the last week. And yesterday that extreme spaciness came back.

I'll call the doc Monday, but I feel in one way they are helping so much, most to gather my thoughts, my emotions. I hope I can figure this out soon

Yes. As Alzheimer’s progresses with a loved one, so do your emotions and perhaps Hers/His as well, leading to frustrating interactions. Sometimes anxiety makes it hard to sleep and then you are even more worn out the next day. If your loved one lives at home with you, you may not have a break. Your life may make you sad/depressed alternating with anger. Often there is no escape with family or friends to help or finances do not allow for a caregiver/companion for your loved one. If you can afford help, do it. Allow yourself to go to a movie, even shopping for yourself. I suggest a support group either in person or on zoom. If need be, a psychotherapy group. But there is no reason to avoid taking a prescribed antidepressant. Lexipro is prescribed for both anxiety and depression.

I went to community acupuncture for support and have taken courses for caregiving . I think talking to People who are in the same shoes is the best medicine - so you dont feel alone . There is a good course for Caregivers this weekend at Upaya Zen center tomorrow with Joan Halifax - I Have taken the course twice already . It is by donation . These are medical Professionals and Joan Has written about death and dying . I would suggest you get educated rather than taking a Pill .

I'm about to find out if Lexapro (anti depressant) will help. The doctor said it takes 2-3 weeks before I notice. I've been caregiver to my 94 yr old diabetic, dementia, wheelchair bound mother for the last 5 years. I'm 64 yrs old and I never had children because I didn't want to deal with diapers. In addition to doing all the cooking and cleaning, now all I do is help her with adult diapers all day. I'm miserable and I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I have 4 other sisters, but no one helps. I don't blame them cause Mom wasn't exactly "June Cleaver". Every time someone says, "what a blessing it is to still have my mother" I just want to punch them in the nose. I worked until I was laid off 5 yrs ago. Since I was older, I didn't think I was going to find a job with the salary I was making so I asked Mom if I could just stay at home (our house is paid for). That's when I decided to stay home and take care of her. It's just getting harder the older we both get. Now I'm ready to start traveling and I'm stuck caregiving until she dies. Sorry to be such a whiner but I can't say any of this out loud.

I didn't start taking them to help me be a caregiver I ended up having to take them because I became a caregiver.
I'm from a suck it up buttercup, kind of family so I long hesitated to get the help I needed. Couldn't understand why I was struggling so much with something I was supposed to be glad to do. ( Not my idea, but other family members felt I should feel priveledged and grateful to be a caregiver)
Of course I loved my sweet mom, but she needed a lot even in independent and assisted living settings. I felt horribly guilty for being so resentful, then my husband developed multiple medical issues, our marriage started to unravel and it was an absolute poopstorm.
I felt passively suicidal at times. Mainly, just hoping I would not wake up and deal with another day but the thought of having my son have to pick up all the slack motivated my a** to get some help and fill the RX.
It did help me become a more stable, calmer caregiver and less of a crying, screaming banshee at times. I was able to calm down and get perspective on things.
I used to scream in my car driving home from my mom's place or some other myriad of appointment or errands. It helped a little but not as much as therapy and medicaiton. My vocal chords are happier about it.

My mom passed away in January of this year, I took care of her for 10 years and for now I am still on it as I am working my way through all the complicated grief.

The other concern is caregivers getting stressed, burned out, and not realizing it but managing with more alcohol, cigarettes etc

Oh I am so sorry to hear you are experiencing the symptoms you've described! Whether it be depression or anticipatory grief, you can take steps to ameliorate the distress by taking medicine AND going to a mental health professional for what I call 'chair time.'

If you are resistant to the idea of having to take an antidepressant, consider this proposal: suppose I told you that tomorrow you had to walk barefoot on hot coals. Or I could give you the alternative to wear tennis shoes...at any rate you'll be walking through fire, so why wouldn't you want to use protective gear? The right antidepressant is just like those tennis shoes. I hope this helps you.

Peace to you from Alabama.

Personally, I don't think I could function on anti depressant medication. It is worth talking to your doctor, if you think it could help you get through this time.
If you are feeling so overwhelmed, I would suggest that medication be your last resort. First, get HELP! I mean, physically caring for your spouse and taking care of the day-to day.
Also, talking with a counselor, not just family and friends, who are more likely to provide biased feedback.
Accept that it IS a Challenging time. It is sad to see our loved ones in this altered state. You are likely grieving the loss, which feels uncomfortable when the person is still living.
And the physical challenges added to our emotional stress can be a LOT to bear!
I get it. I, too, cried a couple times a week. And I still get so frustrated I yell and cry, "I can't do this anymore!"
But, I walk away for a while, and continue trying, because I would rather face the difficult challenges than to be without my husband. My role as his caregiver for the last 8 years has become my identity. I don't know what I would do without him. In our case, he suffered a stroke 9 years ago which caused considerable brain damage, resulting in some paralysis, and dementia, as well as inability to communicate or eat solid foods. But, ironically, he is remarkably strong and healthy, so at this point, he could outlive me.
I still get sad and miss the wonderful man who no longer is. It's ok to cry.
I don't know if medication will do much to change your outlook and certainly won't change the circumstances.
Best wishes to you, and feel free to message me any time you just want to talk and unload.

So I had a physical yesterday, everything is great. Not sure how I have a BP of 117/72 with all the darn stress. Probably all the walking I do to keep sain.
Anyways talked to my doctor, weighed the pros and cons. We decided to temporarily try me on generic Zoloft. Im glad I waited so long seeing that things are going down hill with moms health and mind now,
It feels like the right time.

I'll keep ya posted how it goes

Please, yes, go to your "primary" physician, but for a referral to a doctor who is fully trained to decide if you need an anti-depressant and what to try. They have all the years of additional training to know what to try, what will not cause problems with any current meds you may be taking. Yes, like all meds, you may have to switch to something else if it isn't helping, and the "trial period" is longer than 2 weeks as someone stated. No, they don't remove sadness or the increasing bumps in the road of being a caregiver, but will support you. I have chronic depression and have taken meds for decades. Now they give me the strength in my 6th year of caring for my 91 year old husband who has dementia. I am 82. Family and visiting nurses and aides are a great support. The nurses and aides come from an organization that only deals with people who have dementia or Alzheimer's. We have the same persons who come each time - as well as a social worker - and seem like part of the family. They have also told me when it was time for my husband to go to their Respite Care for 5 days when they see I need a break, even before I do.
Never, never stop or decide on your own to change your med schedule! Call the doctor first. They have been an important part of being able to keep my husband at home. No, I don't know everything, but hopefully something here will give some help to anyone considering anti-depressants.

hello LlamaLover!
yes, I did mean Propanolol-tried to correct but didn't do it correctly, sorry!

We are all struggling as caregivers.
I believe anti depressants are good for those who are clinically depressed.
However, there is a difference between being sad and being depressed. How can a person seeing somebody deteriorate not feel sad?
I know sadness overwhelms me from time to time, but overall I remain optimistic.

Initially my Dr. gave me Propranolol. It helped a little with anxiety and high blood pressure as needed. We live in a state where Medical MJ is legal. My Propranolol RX helped me qualify for the Medical MJ card. I use it mostly at night. I had trouble getting to sleep, staying asleep, and waking from anxiety nightmares. The Medical MJ helps get me to sleep and get back to sleep after waking from bad dreams. I have 2 sisters that help as little as possible but love to tell me how I can do things better/different.

Ive been on an anti depression medication for years. I think I need something stronger at this point. My anxiety and depression are off the chain.

I sure do! If it weren't for venlafaxine and buspirone I'd have not made it this long. No shame in a bit of help.

You are dealing with a lot of difficult situations simultaneously. It is natural to feel grief or "loss" or overwhelming stress with just one of the life events you listed. I would advise meeting with a psychiatrist that also embraces or can incorporate your belief practices. You need some help with dealing with your overwhelming stress symptoms - that is what a psychiatrist is helpful for. I have friends of my faith community that need antidepressants or other psychoactive medications to live normal lives. You also may need some help with developing new coping skills that are compatible with your faith. I would also suggest reaching out to friends, family, members of your faith community... who are willing to help you. These dear ones could help lighten your caregiving load or help with other tasks (laundry, housekeeping, yardwork, groceries, errands...). Most of these people want to help but do not know what you need. In the words of my faith, "Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you." Praying you find peace, rest and comfort during this trying period of your life.

Tmmelody: Ask your physician for assistance/script.

Yes, I take an anti-depressant: escitalopram 10-20 mg.
It does take the edge off of getting TOO involved.
Also, I find that yoga and especially, tai chi, calm and "smooth"
my energy.

Yes, but you might have to go through a few to find out what works for you and your chemistry. I find that Propanol has worked well for me-it nips that "fight or flight" feeling in the bud long enough to give me patience to deal with Dad- it also alleviates the (what feels like) choke-hold that stress can cause.
If you can, you might consider going through a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner or Psychiatrist. Also, it does help to talk about what you are going through with, at the very least, a family councilor for validation of your feelings and some relaxation techniques. You will know if you are a good fit on the first visit.

good luck!

I do. It was just all too much for me to handle emotionally. There’s no shame in it. We all need to do what we need to do to be there for and honor those we love

OMG Yes!

Caregiver is so very stressful on so many different levels. I started a low dose of an antidepressant (Citalapram sp?) almost 2 yrs ago and I just asked the Dr to up my dose…which is still rather low, but I found myself getting “weepier”. I never thought I had a problem managing stress, but the antidepressant really does make a difference. FYI most take a while to work, and some people have to try different rxs before they find one that helps.

if you feel you may need something to help with stress, please discuss it with your Dr.