Will the siblings step up if I quit?

Most people are not prepared to take time off from their jobs and kids, to care for another person, even for a 2 hour period. I feel if an elderly person needs around the clock care, they need to be in a skilled nursing facility. Did your mother have any plans (long time insurance, money) on how she was to be cared for, if she was unable to do it herself? Relying on "someone will do it" doesn't seem like it works out.

Aww, sunshine, I feel for you. What about your local social services programs for elders? Depending on where you are and where these older relatives of yours live, there are lots of local programs to help get them to doctors appointments, get them food, etc.

I think, in some situations, NOTHING makes siblings step up if they don't want to. See if you can get help for these folks from your local Dept of Aging resources. Then there will be less work all around? And maybe siblings will stop being afraid that if they start to help they'll end up like you, in your situation? :)

Now that I've said all that, I'll tell you that I declared "I quit" to my sibling (only other one that cares, older bro) recently, and it would seem he's sort of listening. He's taken my dad and has kept him for a few weeks now, giving me a break. So… maybe if you say that you quit, you get respite, at least. :)

caring for a fading elder , after the fact , is the most enriching of experiences but noone can care for two elders in later stages of decline and in fact it will take two or more to care for just one elder. i dont have much advise on how to get the cooperation tho. my sis and niece wussed out after just a couple or three months and until the very end, i , doc, and hospice managed moms care. sis and niece now live in moms house / property, free and clear, no mortgage, and are as happy as pigs in crap. they didnt " win " anything. the house was dumped on them so i wouldnt have to dump money into it , theylle have it trashed and lying on its side in a year and i hope their sky jeBus slaps the crap out of them some day.
if possible, care for one elder, when she passes do your best with the other one. im living it and feel pretty good about myself.

yup ladybtg,
they may play hero for a while but this gig is about endurance. its pretty complicated and ever regressing and most people just dont have it in them. finances and availability are the problem for many but crappy priorities for many more. my sis and niece were PAID for helping and couldnt hang. frankly they didnt have the skill required , in hindsight.
im getting pizzed in remembering them showing up at 11;00 am on monday mornings to relieve me for work. on what planet does one show up for work just whenever they by god get there?

whoa, in the blink of an eye AC has a new profanity editing program. thisll take some getting used to. p@%cks !!
k###s m& a## m(&*$%f&&&er#

Just quiting is most unfair to your aunt and mother. If you cannot continue it is understandable, the best thing to do is to place mom in NH.
Expecting others to do as much as you do may seem fair, and I once felt that way, but I see the other side of the coin. Let me draw an analogy. Two siblings earn the same income, the first has strong beliefs and donates 50% to charity! the second does not and chooses to invest in luxuries and retirement. Does the first sibling have the right to demand the second contribute more?

Your siblings are unfair, and no doubt you are doing the morally superior thing, however, I do not think it is a battle you can win if you define victory as changing someone else's behavior. Define victory as changing the situation instead.

"Quiting" will only lower you to their standard.

id shame them by doing twice as good a job as before. theyre holding back to sabatogue you and watch you crash and burn. ive been thru this and this was my solution. they finally acknolewged the futility of their strategy and came scampering to help.

I do not think it will help. Can you afford to hire someone? Would the contribute financially rather than personally? Does mom have any assets that can go towards her care such that it alleviates your responsibilities?

What are their excuses for not helping? Is your mom still miserable in her new home? I read an earlier post where some sisters left in tears after mom was very unhappy with you all. Does she live in a house by herself or in a facility for seniors? I'm a bit confused about where she is living.

My advice QUIT and see what happens? I too want to run away but dont have the money to do so yet but if i did i would go and make them "STEP UP". As my doc says if i were to die tomorrow who would look after my mum? You will get ill from doing this on your own i know i did get ill. Still siblings not bothered?
At least if you quit either they help out or not then you will know where you stand with them and if you decide to take this journey on your own at least you are doing the right thing and they are nothing but selfish pigs.
Have you considered AL if you cant cope then a home is the only solution i just cant think of any solutions to my problems now or later than mum goes into a home I cannot do this alone its just not fair. she brought us all up and did her best for us with little money and now noone wants to look after her when she needs us?
I hate them and will find it hard to forgive them when mum dies theyve no idea how hard this is.
Yep if i were you id quit even for awhile and see what happens?
Good Luck and take care of you!