Where can I take my 98-year-old mom for a little trip?

Hi Bobbi, you’ve got me thinking some more. Yes, my mother and I were lucky in having some countryside half an hour away from the city. But there were also a couple of other city places we used – a road alongside a little meandering river that wound around so no-one in a hurry ever used it, and a road with a low speed limit through a park. My mother was a life-time school teacher, so I can relate to the pride and testiness. I didn’t ask – just took her. With the windows open, other senses get used, which is why there are ideas from people who are low vision (and surely your mother wouldn’t think that they are unsophisticated etc). If your mother is a city chick, how about a coffee at a pavement cafe with passing women shoppers? A catty conversation about their dress sense (or lack of it) might be quite good fun! When mine was recovering from chemo, we went on a river-boat trip for two or three days. Once again, it was outside, and the scenery moved without us having to walk.

You have brought back some good memories for me, and I hope that this thread has given you some ideas you can use!

So, my situation is a little different. My mom's sight is ok, but memory, um, no. I've taken her to Epcot in FL several times. Always with the wheelchair because if we got separated she wouldn't even know who she was there with, so I keep her very close til I get her in the wheelchair. Quite the challenge doing that. But, anyway, I'm wondering if you describe to her what is around her? And maybe the smells would make her happy? And if she doesn't have dementia? Maybe ask her where she'd like to go? This is a little out of my element, but certainly there is something that would make her happy. So sweet of you to do this!!!

One thing we a must remember, if someone is aged, but has all their facilities, you can’t treat them like children. A petting zoo, smelling flowers, hands on museum would seem childish to a normal adult. Because they’ve lost their vision doesn’t mean they’ve mentally regressed. They still want to do, and enjoy things they used to do, but just at an easier pace.

Dear Bobbi, you might remember that I wrote to you about the ‘walking pace drives’. Even without great vision, it worked for us. With all the car windows open, we had a little breeze and the smell of the outdoors. When there was an interesting bush by the roadside, I would stop and pick a little sprig that my mother could hold and feel and smell. I could tell her about what was outside, and that helped her to pick out lots of things. Of course, going so slowly helped heaps for her to be able to see or at least get an idea of what was out there - large cows, if not small rabbits! I have worked with several blind people, and I know that they can tell the difference between being outside and in a closed room, and much prefer outside. It’s a low investment of time, money and hopes, so might be worth a try.

Also about flights. You cannot operate under the assumption that she will be taken care of in the airport. I’ve found that to be quiet untrue. It really depends on the airport. While they offer services and you can make arrangements ahead of time, it does not always mean the staff will take care of you. My mother requires assistance in the airport, the airport she flies out of is pretty good, they get her a wheel chair right away and take her where she needs to go. The airport she flies in to when visiting me is just horrible. You cannot rely on the staff. After she lands, I usually have to sit in the baggage claim for at least 20 minutes after all the other passengers have picked up their bags, before mom is wheeled in. She rarely flies down any more because it’s such a hassle and the airport staff is not accommodating despite the services the airport claims to provide. Honestly if are going to require help, you would be better off not flying or hiring a caregiver or bringing along another family member.

I am sure you know this. But check with PCP to make certain she can fly. Thrombosis comes to mind.

Given her sight impairment I think some of the simple suggestions may be best. Those where she can experience through other senses.


Let us know how it goes and best to you and your mom.

So many of us struggle with if it is good to take a dementia/ ALZ patient out of a facility for a brief outing, so your question has been such a breath of fresh air.

Take care and enjoy the experience.

I had a few more thoughts. Perhaps contact the Lighthouse or Association for the Blind in your area, and see if they have any suggestions? I'm sure that blind people do like to travel, and they enjoy reacting to sounds, smells, conversation, movement, etc.
My further thoughts-- day trip to a petting zoo, one where you can maybe feed the baby animals. Botanical garden, one where you are invited to touch and feel. I hope I haven't gotten too far off topic!

Many beaches and parks have wheelchairs with big balloon tires for the sand. Sometimes free, sometimes rent-able.

How about Makinaw Island? it is between the upper & lower peninsulas - you can take a ferry from Makinaw City or St. Ingace - there are no cars but only horse traffic - if you rent a wheel chair she wouldn't have much walking -

There is the Grand Hotel with the large veranda in the world - life is slow paced - I went to it once for lunch & there was a harpist playing while we ate ... so classy

The travel wouldn't be too hard on her & I'll bet any hotel you asked to help would do so as many now have handicapped rooms with walk in showers etc - this also wouldn't tax her too much as I'm sure she probably tires easily but still give her a thrill

I'd go before the schools get out to avoid the crowds no matter where you go - maybe go to a travel agent who specializes in senior travel who may have more info than the average one

How about a boat ride on the lake? We took FIL 90 on a ferry ride of historical Charleston , SC , they provided wheel chairs and he sat up front to feel the wind in his face. It was about 2 hours long with a live narrator and he loved it. We also have taken him to Myrtle Beach and stayed at a Holiday Inn. ( side note: For travel we have a portable seat riser with handles for bathrooms which helps a lot when staying at a hotel even for just one night.) We took a stroll along the beach boardwalk and also saw a live musical show. If your Mom can read a kindle do you think she might be able to paint? Maybe do one of those sip and paint classes that are so popular right now.
Best wishes on your adventure..wherever it takes you!!

Thanks everyone for all the suggestions. The more I read however the less feasible it all sounds. A cruise is out of the question unless I were to take a caregiver with us. She can not do anything for herself and it would be exhausting for me. She can’t ride a scooter because she can’t see.
Scenery is nice, but not if you can’t see it. She can’t handle a long car drive because it’s too difficult to get in and out of the car to use a bathroom.

we did a trip a few years ago to where she used to visit her grandfather. It was really nice, till she missed a step on a porch and pulled the both of us to the ground. What a sight. The two of us laying on the front lawn. I vowed never again

i do like the beach idea, and if we flew I know she would be taken care of in the airport. Florida is only a few hours for us, so there would be no reason she’d have to get up. Her bladder is better than mine. Lol. Just a matter of finding a nice place to stay. She isn’t a beach person and walking on the sand is too difficult but sitting on a porch or balcony by the ocean would be nice. Think I’ll work on that. If she’s game.

and yes, I will try to take her to mackinaw this summer. I think grand hotel might be a bit much for her. Especially with dressing for dinner. And getting in and off a carriage. But we could stay in the city and have our pasties and fudge.

Thanks everyone.

I have been so interested in this question. Please keep us posted as to which or several you have chosen. It helps us all.

How about a simple trip to the nail salon for some pampering? Most will have a spa-like tub that the client can put their feet in for a pedi.

What about a children's interactive museum? Touch and feel stuff. Trying to be helpful, just brainstorming like everyone else.

With a wheelchair I would take her to a museum and describe to her what you ste seeing and have her touch and feel what she can touch. Maybe take her to the mall or a outdoor concert etc.

Does your request mean you are looking for an escape from the cooold weather?

Can you tell us if your mom has any special things that she used to enjoy?

Just about any place you go now, in the USA has the ability to accommodate wheel chairs or walkers, thank you ADA.

I would check out something on the beach, I would find someplace that is a community that caters to golf carts. Some resorts are so big you can rent a golf cart to get around. Maybe a small community. Baker City, Oregon is a small community with a big rodeo event every summer and they are at the base of beautiful mountains, lovely trout fishing, but they allow golf carts on the streets. Perhaps the east coast has something similar.

You could also find a really great travel video, you watch it, then implement non-visual sensory things. Get a scented candle that smells like the flowers on the video, get a shirt or dress that feels like the place, linen or silky polyester. Bring the temperature of the room to tropical feeling with humidifiers and heaters. Have food that would be served. Make it a date so it feels special and invite friends and loved ones to participate in your 3D themed vacation for the day.

Just planning something so different can create excitement for days and the preparation another day or two, then the actual event, not to mention the fun memory of bringing Hawaii or Tahiti to MI, mid winter, have her pick where you are going or the fragrances that bring the atmosphere into your home, the guest list and menu, really anything that she can to help. Just a thought to break the monotony of a long cold winter.

I would search for vacations for the visually impaired. This would suggest things that I would never think of.

I hope you find something that creates much anticipation and joy to your mom and you. She is very blessed to have you.

You know, maybe renting a limo with chauffeur, and going on a narrated history of your area is a possibility too.

With help, could she get in and out of a carriage? For example a horse drawn carriage ride?

As was mentioned, botanical gardens are nice. There are the smells as well as the sights. Some even have herb gardens and such designed for smell. If you have a public attraction that sounds interesting to you, check and see if they have wheelchairs available.

Actually on a nice spring day, even a landscape nursery can be nice to visit.

I used to take my mother out for a ‘walking pace drive’. We found a road in the hills near us that had great scenery and almost no traffic. I would drive at the slowest speed the car would do, all windows down and right next to the road side, with frequent stops. It was the best alternative we had to going for a walk, and it was very easy to do regularly. We both enjoyed it, and also the chat that went with it.

Just throwing some more ideas out.
A botanical garden local to you? Do any of your high schools or colleges put on good musicals?

What about the Zoo? When it gets warmer in your neck of the woods, of course.

That is very sweet of you. She is very blessed to still be up and going. Is she against using a wheelchair? I am not from your area. I'd always love the idea to take my grandma to national parks for a "stroll" but her dementia gives her too much anxiety. It's nice to see and hear trees, lakes, animals, green hills etc. Of course assuming there is a paved road where you can push a wheelchair. Does she like animals? You can take her to a horse eventing show. Or to a local museum if you want to keep it quiet and simple. Florida? The beach! It's never a bad idea to go to the beach on a sunny warm day.

I believe one guide would be knowing what your mother has enjoyed in the past, and perhaps asking her to see what she would enjoy. She might get bored going to events, places or activities that never would have interested her before, particularly as she still has her mental abilities intact. The chances are that there are some easier versions of the things she used to enjoy.

I think you may want to consider buying one of the lightweight wheelchairs(Walgreens) that you push. It's easier to get in/out of a vehicle. If you stay overnight, always ask for a handicapped room. When dad was able, we would catch a movie during the matinee time every week. It wasn't about the movie, but the popcorn & drink. We would go on picnics, too. The most memorable event that I took Dad to, was Cirque du Soleil. Because of the wheelchair, we were able to get a front seat. Some of the characters came up to Dad, he laughed alot & we got some incredible pictures that will last a lifetime.

If your mother like sight seeing, maybe take her to an IMAX theater when there are nature shows in 3D. Check out the science centers near you. The one near me has a huge screen, 7-story tall, and there are wonderful shows about space, forests, Egypt, etc. You feel like you're there in movie even when it's just 2D.

Mackinac island ? Town with nice motel and restaurant nearby ? Walk-thru garden area or museum with wheelchair ?

"glamping" my 93 year old mom enjoys (we think) camping in a cabin (if you are close to ohio, we have some great campsites). she can be outside with family, enjoy nature and still have an indoor bathroom and bed (and tv)

IF she is agreeable to allowing a wheelchair, that might make for more options, but then it might also be massive exhaustion for you as the pusher. Wheelchairs at the airport etc can allow her to easily get to the gate, and once you are for instance at a place like Disney, then you can plan accordingly and pace it slow. Much of your ease would depend on thorough planning ahead to make sure of accommodations close to elevators, transportation options, wheelchair availability, if you want to push. With a wheelchair a big hotel would not be out of the question I would think...Is Niagara Falls feasible? To get up close there would be walking...but I know of one hotel where the rooms facing the falls had doors that opened (there is a gate to prevent falls) and you can hear the falls and feel the positive ions...

No flying. If Mom can’t handle much more than a lunch out, navigating airports and narrow airplane aisles is out of the question.

Driving only. Keep it within 60-90 minutes of home, unless you two have a long, long history of harmonious car trips together. (And even if you do, age 98 + severe physical limitations is a whole different ballgame.)

Rent a big van or something more comfy/roomy for Mom, if need be. Heck, it’s only one day!

Are you close-ish to any of the adorable towns along Lake Michigan or Lake Huron? Any scenic state parks within a reasonable drive of where you live?

Keep in mind: Making things harder for yourself does not equal making it more special for Mom.

Don’t get so wrapped up in second-guessing Mom’s bucket list (or creating expectations) that it’s impossible for you to enjoy yourself.

You’ll have the memory of this trip longer than Mom will. Keep the stress level low. You don’t need a grand scale to have a lovely outing. 😃