I live long distance from my elderly parents. Dad slowing down, Mom picked up a lot of slack as a caregiver because Dad can't do as much now, but has always been an "overdoer" which is my nice way of saying she has a bit of a martyr complex. She is very stressed out, has lost some good friends in the past couple of years, complains about how tired she is, etc. She has been very short and I'll just say it - unkind - numerous times in the past year. I understand this is a really hard time for her. She has always been a bit of a control freak, but we got along and had fun together in the past. Childhood was a little rocky. I think she is unhappy about her marriage and this has affected her outlook on life. At this point in time, she is giving me the silent treatment and won't say why. I can guess - she's not happy that I willingly moved farther away from them due to my husband's job. But since she won't talk to me about it, I can only guess. This has been going on for close to a month. In the past 6 months she hasn't called me (though I talk to my dad every week). She doesn't want to get on the phone. When she does get on the phone, she is sullen and rude. When I tried to talk to her about coming out for a visit to help them with stuff, she gets very condescending and tells me how busy I am and they don't need my help. So I went and booked a flight anyway. I'm going to be there on Friday, fly back on Monday. She isn't talking to me, so her text response was "Your father will have a list for you." I can only assume that she will make the list, give it to my dad to give to me. Major passive aggression going on. FYI Dad and I have a good relationship. No issues there.
I have a sister who lives in their town, but she doesn't check in on them regularly and does her own thing. She'll come over and visit on a holiday but really isn't in the trenches when that's needed. Not trying to sound like the hero, but I'm basically the responsible kid and I'm trying to figure out why my mom is villainizing me at this point in time. What purpose does it serve for her?