What if I refused to pick Mom up from the hospital?

Others are absolutely correct, you should refuse to pick her up. And one thing I did not see mentioned here, if it were me, I would change my phone number and make it unlisted. You have to protect and care for YOU.

upstream, I am so sad for what you’ve had to deal with all these years. I’m also the only child of a seriously unbalanced mother, no other relatives, and it is SO lonely.  Your mom is just very ill. None of her ire and desperation is meant for you per se, you’re just the only one there. I’m with midkid, if you haven’t tried Al-Anon meetings I think you should go. NO don’t pick her up. She should not be living alone.  Hopefully you can do more calling and contacting to get social services and her insurance acting for her serious emotional and physical problems.  I hadn’t heard of Baker Act, sounds worth knowing. She sounds like a nightmare, but she’s also extremely lost and maybe you can steer her to the right help this time. Just don’t be the one to give the help directly. I think Al-Anon is going to get you on the right track. Bless you and good luck.

You are not required to pick her up. The hospital cannot keep her after a certain point, because her Medicare won't pay for it. Let her figure it out for herself. You do not deserve to be abused by your own
mother.

Just don't answer the phone. Screen your calls. Your not available. Ooops, busy didn't get the call.

Midkid is right, this will go on and on. It's up to you to stop it. I know you feel guilty, but you don't deserve to be treated like this. Good luck.

If you feel she is a threat to herself--especially if she mentions suicide-- you can call the police and have her Baker acted. Doctors will take a Baker Act more seriously. If doctors are not taking her threats of suicide seriously, file complaints..I would get in touch with hospital administration and mention malpractice... Hospitalization for detox and have the psychiatrist start her on meds. You have to get in touch with social workers and discuss discharge options and if she is incompetent she will need a court-appointed legal guardian--if she has a car the court (which will be held in the psychiatric center) will revoke her driving privileges. Permanently. If she is a drunk she has no business driving because she will end up killing someone or herself. But I definitely would file complaints and get in touch with hospital administration if she is receiving poor care. These doctors are making millions a year living champagne and caviar lifestyles-- they collect the money without issue so you can at least demand decent care.

Call Adult Protective Services and have them get involved.

You don't have to pick her up and you don't have to be around her at all if she's abusive. Let her take care of herself.

I took my husband home the first time. They had him in rehabilitation for about 2 week they didn’t tell me his problem until the day they dismissed him brought him home and lord it was ok for about 2 weeks he just went over board trying to climb out the bedroom window got one of the neighbors to call police (I am l hard of hearing) he tell police he wants to leave this house and I am trying to kill him they took him to va hospital where he is still there I refuse to get him (he is in the mental ward) he has always been abusive Verabley and in the past physically and he has gotten aggressive with the nurses but they still wants to send him home with me I refuse can’t deal with him my health isn’t that good oh by the way I quite my job cause they say he needs 24/7 care I have lost all my health insurance believing the va would help a real joke VA hasn’t help me at all there the one who lied to me I wouldn’t have quit my job don’t get her let them figure out what to do

Rough situation....As a 32 year sober recovering alkie myself, I know that no one can "talk sense" to her....The alkie wants to do the next best thing, which is to get another drink...I choose to not comment on what you might or might not do.

Grace + Peace,

Bob

Upstream
No, you don’t have to pick her up.
It seems to me that it would be much like you or I being released. Depending on your mom’s diagnosis/condition at the time of discharge, while you may refuse to pick her up, sometimes hospitals send people home in a cab.
Since she is competent and drives she will probably just have them deliver her home.
If she can’t walk etc then the hospital might send her to rehab unless she arranged for another option.
Will she tell the nurse to call you? You just need to be ready to say no. Or call and tell the discharge folks ahead of time not to bother that you aren’t coming and they need to work it out with her.

You fundamentally disagree that it is safe for the hospital to discharge your mother home, yes?

So, I can't see how you can be expected to endorse a decision that you genuinely believe is wrong and not in your mother's best interests. More than refuse to collect her, state your active disagreement with the discharge and ask them to put it on record.

Refuse to pick her up from the hospital and also refuse to help her, if you are, at her home. She needs to figure this out.

I’m guessing your mom’s still drinking with all the injuries...can the hospital or her regular doctor readmit her to rehab? I didn’t even know about senior rehab.

I think you can refuse to pick her up from hospital.

YOU don't have to do anything. She can call a cab for a ride home.

This is just going to go on and on. Obviously, needing rehab/detox, but probably the hospital just wants to turf her out of there. She can be forced into a 3 day psych hold for verbalizing suicide desires...but beyond that, it's not going to be something an ER doc will handle.

AND stay tough. Don't let her move in with you.

Perhaps some Al-Anon (is that the support group for families of alcoholics?) could help you to understand her actions and how to set boundaries.