What do you do with a mother who is passive aggressive? She gets up mean, hurtful, spends her day demanding, controlling, and unkind.

She never asks for time, demands it. No excuse me, do you mind, if you don’t mind, it’s, “I have to.. you need to.. but’s in on my phone conversations. My day is not important. My job is irrelevant, my health issues are lies and inconsequential. My dad’s day is full of put downs. Short version.
She is getting to be unbearable. She knows all about everything and everyone. But she doesn’t. If it’s not what she thinks then we lied. She has threatened to hit me, slap me actually, for saying that she must have heard a time wrong. Then when I put on an event for my job she tried to tell me it was on a different day. Convinced I had my own event date wrong she was going to slap me for saying she had the date wrong. I did tell her if she did follow through that would be the last time she saw me. Calm cool and collected. She and my dad need me. Neither sibling can help them at this time. She is too unaware of my dad’s symptoms, he would die under her watch. He almost has even with me being in and out. Fortunately I made it home in time to get home to the hospital. If she had any idea about my work she would be trying to run that too. I don’t date, have friends over, cannot watch a movie without interruption. I know I am not alone. There are others in my small circle in similar situations. A lawyer whose mom says she is a failure. Hasn’t amounted to anything. This is not where I thought I would be. Some people have lovely times with their elderly parents. Parents who are grateful. Those who are looking to have as much fun out of a day as possible. Not mine! Every day I am glad to see it has come to an end so I can go back under the covers.