Father-in-law is in a wonderful assisted living facility. He recently lost his drivers license (we had already taken the keys a year ago) and is insisting on going home. I’m sure he would need 24 hr care but know he would just fire them. His home is 45 minutes away making it impossible to check in everyday. He is mad, throwing tantrums. We want him to be happy and safe. He will not listen to reason but he is still there enough to understand. Do we have to legally declare he is incompetent? Help.
Tell him for now, this arrangement works for everyone. He has a nice apt and 3 meals a day. Interaction with others. You can visit which u wouldn't be able to if he lived in his home.
Has something changed recently that he is finding difficult to adjust to? A new caregiver, change in diet, weather changing creating the have to do list?
My dad said he would rather die in the Walmart parking lot than live in a home. He managed to facilitate a move on his own and at the rate things are going, that might be his ending. By law I could do nothing, so I wait for the crisis that changes everything.
It is so difficult when you are in that period of time that they deny any problems and are still with it enough to make life he11.
Best of luck getting him to stay put.
My Mom [98] did that when she was in long-term-care. It took me awhile to realize that is where she wanted to go. She finally gave me clue. Then she was asking about visiting her parents and her siblings. I had to use "therapeutic fibs" such as saying "your parents are out of the country, they will be back next month", "Betty is on a church retreat", "Grace is working overtime this week", etc.