We are both sick. Can I leave without guilt?

You should not tell him your plans In case he try’s to take your money. Just plan your trip and GO. You can write or call him after you SAFELY leave. Don’t trust him if he’s abandoned you .

I think it is time for you to leave at this point especially if you're very sick yourself, and you shouldn't feel bad about it. You might want to explain to him why you are wanting to leave so he won't feel rejected. I would also explain to your family about your sickness and a good reason you are having to move back home ahead of time and tell them when you want to come instead of just dropping in on them.

You don’t have to blame this on him or the relationship, it doesn’t have to be fight or even negative at all. Sad perhaps, the end of any relationship even a toxic one is always sad in some ways but this could and should be presented as a positive for both of you. “Partner, living through this Time with you, watching you make the sacrifices you have and care for your dad, coupled with both of our health issues has made me face my own health needs. The time is coming when I won’t be able to care for myself without help never mind care for you properly and watching you with your family makes me realize I need my own. Not only do I miss them, I see that I will need to rely on them in the near future so I have decided to move back to Illinois. I was happy to move here with you, especially when you had your father to consider but it has never really been my home and just like you want and need your family around I need mine too. I don’t expect you to want to move back with me, I understand it’s not about me it’s about your need for your family. If you want to purchase the house from me and stay here and decide that before I hire a realtor, fantastic but if not Im going to put it on the market as soon as possible. I just don’t want to live through another hurricane season here. I would love to help you find a place and get settled in the meantime too. I hope you will support me and help me do this, I care about you very much and separating from you has not been an easy decision but I know in my heart that we each need or families as our medical needs increase and our families simply live too far apart for us to have both.” Forget any blame or regrets and give him some options and ownership of his decisions while you take ownership of yours. No guilt, no pleading or supporting your case this is what you need to do for you now just as the mob to Louisiana was what he needed to do for him (and the case col be made what you needed to do for you because being with and supporting him was that important to you then). Good luck with the move and good for you taking care of yourself and your priorities.

NotSouthern: Imho, who am I to tell you to leave your partner? That decision is a very personal one. Best wishes.

Why are you asking a question that there is a simple answer to which will improve your quality of life and mental health. Of course you can leave him - he isn't really with you anyway, and you need support as much as he does. Get your family to come and pack your stuff and take you to somewhere where you will be loved and cared for not basically used as a skivvy. You deserve better - take it.

I just left a similar situation, Left a partner after caring for him for 6 years. He promised me everything & in the end I got nothing. Amazingly, after I left, the family which didn't help at all while I was doing everything, stepped in to care for him. Should have done it years ago.