I highly recommend "A Place for Mom" they can tell you which Communities accept Medicaid. I think a "Board and Care" in a licensed Private Home is what we call it in Ca. It may go under another name in your state. BAC usually has a maximum of 6 people and they are more likely to accept Medicaid. I do not know if you have other family members but if you do they are a part of this as well. My daughter talked to me about how they (family) need me in their lives too. I had forgotten that because my life was so intertwined with my mom's that it was difficult for me to go away even to visit family. I am happy she shared that with me because I would not want them to feel that I have no time for them. I have had to balance my life some and I am happy that I did.
I think "A place for Mom" has been great overall, and they have been willing to help people who are not going to be in private pay situations too (even though they make their money on commissions from placement in private pay facilities, something like a real estate agent. You have made such a big contribution to her life in the past 15yrs, its certainly OK to be done now. Just go ahead and make that decision that you ARE done and its time now. It may take weeks or more to actually get her moved. Start with the state medicaid office and initiate the application right now! You must have durable POA to do this work, but maybe her brain is in good enough shape to get you one even without an attorney (you need the form from online and a notary). Having a lawyer do it does give you more security that it will hold up to challenges from family, but if you don't have extra money you can do the work with social security or medicaid using the simpler home-produced DPOA. Then you start making visits to homes who might accept her.
Medicaid will assist some people in assisted living under the HCBS or Money Follows the Person program, available via your state Medicaid office. I would call them today and find out what forms you need to fill out. You just may be able to get some assistance from them.
This woman's mom has been living with her for 15 years. She is now reaching out for help, and to offer her, "Think of all the years she helped you." is about as helpful as a porcupine in a balloon factory. That being said, if there is an elder care organization in your town or an Alzheimer's office, Becky900, I would call them and get the info you need. Sometimes placement is the kindest and safest thing to do for our loved ones.
Take a look at the 2015 Genworth Cost of Care Study to learn what long term care (including services you bring into the home) costs in your state. It is comprehensive and will give you good information about what to expect given your budget. Good luck!
There are funds available to pay for care if she qualifies. Have you checked to see if she qualifies according to her income and assets? Has she been assessed to see what type of care she needs, such as nursing care or help with daily activities?
Take her to her doctor and manage her "meanness", and you take a break from caring for her. She could file for Medicaid and see if they would help. Think of all the years she helped you...
I recently had to face this situation with my mother. I live in Texas and I am not not sure if this is available to you, but I got in touch with an organiztion called "A Place For Mom". They helped me find several Private Care Homes in my area. I had never heard of such places before,but "Private Care Homes" are very nice and some even take Medicaid. They were half the cost of the bigger facilities. We still had to juggle funds with my mom's pension and then split the difference between syblings, but my mother is now in a nice private home she loves and my family is slowly recovering from a long hard journey. Hope this is of some help to you.
That being said, if there is an elder care organization in your town or an Alzheimer's office, Becky900, I would call them and get the info you need. Sometimes placement is the kindest and safest thing to do for our loved ones.
Have you applied for Medicaid for her?