Toileting transfering burnout. Any help?

I agree with garden artist. A colostomy is a major operation which I would not expose to a bed ridden elderly dementia patient. I have heard of catherizing but not colostomy. We were given a very small bedpan for my mom. The top was flat and not rolled. Hospice told us this was more comfortable. Never had a chance to use it though.

Get an in home PT to help you come up with best way to transfer and clean up after tolieting. They can help you with advice on best equipment to help with transfers too.

helpnga, I have thought the same about what you said, cleaning up on the bed and just letting her drop her bm's in the toilet (sort of speak lol) . I thought of getting a commode wheelchair but not sure if I can get her into it, if there is a bar behind her ankle area. I do have the squirt bottles as mentioned, it all worked for years but now that Mom just seems to want to lean to the side and stretch out out her legs, it is a battle alone. I only have one caregiver and she can do it. She doubles up a pillow behind her so she sits up super straight, almost leaning over a bit forward. I tried it but it doesnt work for me, I'm sweating bullets trying to keep her up, wash her bum and them Kaboom, she goes again once she is all cleaned or when I put the desitin/vaseline on her cheeks. Sometimes I need to push around her bm area to get her started, almost like popping a balloon, she doesnt know how to push it out , hence the daily miralax. Thanks all again. I am applying for medicaid home care next week but there is a 3-5 month wait to see if we are accepted. I have tried so many aides on my own who cannot even roll Mom in bed that I do not have high hopes.Maybe I will try a reclining commode chair because I can hoyer her into a chair that reclines easier, still thinking, thanks all !!! Someone asked how others do it and I can say that Mom is considered a 2-person assist, but a lot of times its just me. Hospice couldnt find any Aides who could do it and couldnt supply 2 aides so that went out the window a few years ago, she had it less than a week and they basically quit. ( PS moms 94) I know this sounds awful but I do want to say, Moms in bed now laughing her head off, at nothing. Shes in her won little world and just a sweetie pie, its this dam BM problem that gets to me, and of course, not being able to go out weekends, haha You all know, we love them unconditionally!

Can she use a bedside commode? If so,.it would be a little easier on you.

I would definitely get back on the hospice services. You could get the services of an aide quicker then thru medicare if mom qualifies for hospice.

With the toilet seat bidets, they plug in so the water (and seat if you want it) is heated. The Brondell Swash is the only model I know of that has a "wide" spray which might be useful. All of the electric ones out today have a stream (or multiple streams) that concentrate the washing in a fairly small area. They are great if you can "wiggle" around a little. Most of the modern seats have a moving nozzle so they wash you but the nozzle only moves front and back. There is a separate nozzle/streams for the feminine washing, which are very helpful to prevent UTIs.
Back to the Swash however, if you have a larger area to clean up, the wide spray can be very helpful. Cost of these bidets is around $350 to $600.

Reverseroles, just wondering how you are making out? Were you able to get more help? I know it is heartbreaking and frustrating when all of a sudden what worked for a long time now doesn't. Let us know how you are doing. Keeping you and mom in ky prayers

This question reminded me of the time I worked as a CNA for a hospital. I had anywhere from 5 to 8 patients a day that I had to bathe, change diapers, bedding, get them up, get them down, and in wheelchairs and on toilets. Kudos to all the CNA's out there. I had one patient who would tell me she didn't have to go until I change her wet diaper for a dry one and then she would have her BM. Of all the jobs I've had in my 60 working years, being a CNA was undoubtedly the hardest, most back-breaking, unappreciated, low-salaried job I've ever had and I took about 3 years of it before I gave up and went back to accounting. Reverseroles, you don't say how old you are but I can tell you that you will regret all that pushing and pulling, twisting, holding etc. when you get older. I've already had back surgery to repair a disc and it was painful before the doc operated on me. If you can, check with either a medical supply co. for a wheelchair that doubles as a toilet and you empty the pot underneath, if she's capable of letting you know when she has to go. If I were you, I would hire someone who could come in 4 hours a day on the weekends to get her cleaned up, fed, toileted and either back in bed or in the wheelchair with depends or other diapers on her. It will be much easier to change a diaper than to pick her up and set her down, etc.etc. Some commenters have suggested excellent ways to handle toileting by just using a clean pad under her with the ends brought up between the legs. You can clean her by rolling her side to side and using warm bath cloths to wipe her and also to change the sheets. The reason I'm suggesting this is because if you keep doing what you're doing with the lifting, pushing, pulling, etc. you could be in serious trouble if you have a disc tear in your back. You could be down in the bed as well and then what would you do with your mother? Would putting her in a NH be an option? Or an assisted living facility? I know we all try to keep our loved ones at home as long as we possibly can but you're coming to the end of your rope. I would call Medicare, Medicaid, nursing homes, elder care in your community, a CNA, anyone who can help you keep from injuring yourself while caring for your mom. Touchmatters asked what do professionals do? In most hospitals, they call for the orderlies to come pick up the patient and put them where you want them. They have help from other CNA's to pick someone up, also use a transfer belt to help hold on to her. They also have equipment that lays on the bed (like trampoline material) and the patient lays on top of it. a crank is used to pick the patient up, swings her/him into the pool, or tub, or wherever and later picks them back up and transfers back to bed. The bidet is great when attached to a toilet. It has a nozzle aimed to your backside and when turned on, it shoots water up on you to help clean you. Turning your sink or shower hot water on usually warms the bidet water if your bathroom is cold. Good luck in getting some help.

Howdy, stil hanging in here and thank you all for your 3 recent posts. I am 59, at least for a few more months and had to say the Saaaa6666666666660 word, yikes ! I will look up the bidet. Ive been getting 5 years back of bank statements and everything you can imagine trying to apply or choices or independence to get some help in here on weekends. She is not capable of letting me know , I look for signs mostly and knowing she had miralax 3 hours before. I thought of those transer chairs with a commode hole, but not sure i she will poop in it. haha she should I suppose? When I lift her onto the toilet vaboom, its like she knows.When I turn Mom in bed its a full turn and i it is part of her body rolls back. I stuf pillows under her back but its like she folds over some. . I give you all credit or changing in bed alone, for my Mom is so hard and she is like moving a large bag of sand!! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I feel for you. I damaged myself very badly doing that work. The worst is when you are struggling in a bathroom that has no room or maneuverability. Definitely get a bedside commode. There is also a Hoyer Lift if you need it. How about paying an independent aide to be there on the weekends? I paid out of pocket for a CNA-in-training just to come for an hour, for $12-15.