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My Mom lives with me, she doesnt walk or talk, is incontinent. I puree her foods and thicken her drinks. She really hasnt changed much, it been like in 4-5 years out of the almost 8 years she has been here. One thing I have done it get mom on a schedule and she will poop on the toilet instead of a diaper. Although she cannot understand, I am trained to see the signs and also give her miralax, etc.
My problem is this...I lift mom into her wheelchair, feed her 2 hours, and then we are off to the bathroom. I lift her on the toilet and she straightens out her legs, a lot, slides down, leans over, etc. I am trying so hard to wash her poop up and hold her up at the same time. By the time I am done and I lift her back to her wheelchair I am sweating and exhausted. I do pay someone for week mornings and she is great but weekends are a killer with no help. I am burning out bigtime.
If I let her go in her diaper, it goes into her vagina, etc and is horrible to keep her turned in bed to clean it all up too. Help! What do you at home caregivers do????????????????????????????????????????
I am posting this 3 times for help. THanks

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It sounds as though you are reaching the end of your ability to care for your Mom. And that you have done an incredible amount and effort so far.

Sometimes we have to just surrender to the hard reality that the job of caregiving has gotten beyond our means to provide all necesary care at the level our loved one deserves.
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Would a bidet that you attach to your toilet help out? It is a sprayer that would clean your mom while you hold her in place. You can buy them to attach to a toilet.

Another idea would be to use toilet rails and have a very soft piece of long fabric that you'd loop around your mom's waist and attach her to the rails to keep her somewhat upright?

I don't have that issue with my mom, so I have no idea if either of these would help. Good luck...you're doing a very difficult job by yourself.
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I don't know how expensive they are, but there are combination wheeled shower/commode chairs. She would have the support available in a wheelchair and you would be able to remove the bucket to clean her, even wheel her into the shower if necessary.
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I don't have any help as far as the transfer except to use a transfer belt so you can hold onto her safely so you don't need to pull on her arms and possibly hurt her, but if you need to clean her up if she goes while she's in bed, the method I learned when I was a nurses aid in the nursing home might help. You can use a changing pad like you'd use to change a babys diaper. Roll her to one side and fold up the dirty pad as far as you can under her and replace it with a folded clean pad. Then roll her to the other side, clean her, and remove the dirty pad while opening up the folded clean one. Sounds complicated but it's not and it's so efficient and much easier than trying to lift her. I agree it's very hard to clean while they're using the toilet. Try to protect your back with a back brace. God bless you for trying so hard.
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What i did was put a commode in a spot where I had enough room to work and where moms feet rested comfortably on the chair. It was placed in the corner of kitchen with short walk behind it and long walk beside. Put a bar of the wall. Angled chair when done going towards wall where I had a grab bar then put a good rubbered backed rug under her feet. Scooped her up to standing, I would put her hands on bar and cirk her fingers around bar. This worked for years. When mom was no longer able to hold her own weight, this became a two person job with many times sitting back on commode to regroup. Our bathroom just did not have enough room to accommodate 2 people and the wheelchair. I was fortunate that my sons had just graduated from college as my moms major decline started. I can't really think of a way for this to be easier for you without a second person to help. Good luck
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Get an in home PT to help you come up with best way to transfer and clean up after tolieting. They can help you with advice on best equipment to help with transfers too.
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The more I think about it the more I think a bidet might be a good solution.
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What do professionals use or do? As above, nurses, hospice workers, MDs. Has anyone called Kaiser, Geriactrics Department? Some people must have experience with this.
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Just had a thought -- gripper strips for her feet. We used them on walker handles; they're either lightweight rubber, or something like that. Wrapped around the handles, they provide extra traction for someone to hold onto.

I'm wondering about a gripper strip on the floor so her feet don't slide?

Just googled "gripper strips"; I see there are larger strips to put on floors to prevent skidding and/or sliding. Maybe something like that would help provide traction, to at least address the slipping aspect?
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I have no experience with this, but what if you laid her on the bed and put a bed pan under her? I might be more clean up, but it would be less stress and strain on both of your bodies.
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