Have things happened in caregiving that you can look back on and laugh at now?

We all know caregiving is hard work, emotionally upsetting because we love
the elder and want to reverse the aging process. However, once I realized I was only there to care for him through the aging process, make it as pleasant as possible, lots of the frustrations were lessened. Change only what you, the adult child had change, and enjoy the special extra time you have with your parent. It can be an enriching experience--- but the exhausting bull work of care (the lifting, the bathing, the endless laundry, the meal prep, the small medical crisis which occur are all there too. However, the extra time with an elder is priceless and when they pass, yes you are free but they aren't there to speak to or laugh with. The satisfaction that you made their final days (yrs) the best they could be does give the caregiver peace of mind and heart. Too many seniors are alone as they walk the final miles of life---nobody really cares for them in a loving manner. I try to pray for these poor souls each day as they surely need it.

See I can laugh at everyone else's stuff as there is a remnant of familiarity in those stories. Maybe that's the key---to step outside.

This is an old story, but, many years ago, my grandfather was in a nursing home. He had broken his hip and was 89 years old. His mind was still sharp as a tack though. Back then, there was not a separate ward for the dementia/altzheimer patients, so they were intermingled with the other patients. My grandfather found one lady particularly interesting since she would roam the halls looking for her dog that she had when she was five years old. She would wander into my grandfather's room and keep calling for her dog and look in the bathroom, under the bed, and so on. After a spell, my grandfather found it entertaining to "bark" when she was nearby in the hallway. We thought it was horrible at the time and scolded him. He said "What is the harm? She is having fun looking and I think it is hilarious!" One of my fondest memories of my grandfather to this day!

I love my mother very much, I made the commitment to help her and I will, are there some funny things, probably if I think hard about it, but I find losing my life quite sad and not funny nor her losing her mind and consequently fighting from losing my own.

Well, as a hospice nurse I was called to the home an elderly man whose catheter was blocked. If readers find this in poor taste I am sorry but it really happened. After the usual attempts to irrigate it I decided to replace it. It came our easily enough but the poor man's scrotum was so swollen the penis was nowhere in sight. I peered down the hole and sure enough he had one buried about three inches deep in swollen flesh. I tried many times to get that catheter in the hole which of course I could not see. finally his wife asked if there was anything she could do and I asked her to fetch two large table spoons and she said' don't you mean tea spoons" and a I said "no I am going to use the handles as retractors and you are going to hold them." After about an hour we finally succeeded and the man's plumbing was working fine. He was so good natured about it and his wife did not criticize at all. (She had been a nursing supervisor at the local hospital}. When I reported my adventure at the next staff meeting one of the other nurses remarked "Don't have anything to eat at Mr ..............'s house."
On other occasions I have received such warnings as ."Don't go in the kitchen the white cat will get you" "Don't get out of the car, honk your horn till her husband comes out" "Don't lift up the tray beside her bed" - there were cockroaches underneath. One lady called and said she hadn't had anything to eat all day, this was at midnight and she wanted a tomato sandwich. What did you do I was asked at the next staff meeting. " I put a tomato in my pocket and went to make her one" of course she only took one bite. One of our local pharmacists was very good about coming out in the middle of the night and one night I called his home because his daughter was on call and she had recently had a baby. He did not answer and the daughter came in. Next morning I received an irate call from his wife reaming me out for calling the daughter and told me she did not like having her husband go out at night and unlocking the shop because he was sixty five and too old for this kind of thing. I managed NOT to tell her that I was sixty seven and did not like driving around the lonely countryside with narcotics in my car. All in a days or should I say nights work!

I think it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. And I wish Neither one of us had to go Through it, but If I couldn't laugh at some things later I would probably just cry. So yes...it is very tough. And I feel bad for anyone having to go thru this.

So, if you find caregiving hard, taxing, not very enriching you are "disinclined", or unaware of what is in store for you? I don't think so.

To each their own

P.S. -
Right after my dad's first brain surgery & was in ICU with his head bandaged, the surgeon made rounds and told Dad "Mr. M., you've just had brain surgery," Dad was sharp and said "Well, it's about time."
Another time I had taken Dad to Outpatient Oncology for yet another transfusion - and the nice nurse was taking the intake info, and asked if he had Shortness Of Breath. He thought about it, hemmed & hawed, and said "Well sometimes". So the nurse wrote "SOB" on the chart. Dad could read this upside down over the chair arm rest, and said "Well, if you don't like me, just tell me," I'm laughing as I type this. I had sent this SOB one to Reader's Digest, Laughter Is The Best Medicine - and they never published it.... guess it was too "risque" for them. LOL

Fortunately, we didn't have to deal with a Hoyer, or dementia/Alzheimer's type stuff.
My dad was in & out of the hospital, inpatient & outpatient, for transfusions & complications of leukemia & subdural hematoma brain surgeries. I'm a father's daughter, and was a fixture in the hospital - anything I could do for my Dad. We could Always find laughable "faux pas" at the hospital.
Ya'know the column in Reader's Digest - "Laughter is the Best Medicine".
And, healthy aging is being able to laugh at ourselves. My dad had great wit & wisdom.
There are a lot of emotionally-rich moments in caregiving. Those disinclined to caregive are missing out - and ignorant to what's coming in their own lives. None of us are getting younger.

Several times mom is in a wheel chair with a safety seat belt and sometimes her blouse covers it; I will suggest to mom " com'on stand up and she looks at me funny...i say it again sort of pulling on her hands to indicate "up." O dear. I realize that darn seatbelt is on her. Un-do seatbelt and she stands right up.
Tonight the seatbelt was off and she wouldn't stand up....oh dear, the sleeve of her night was caught on the wheel chair handle....poor lady. I'm always apologize for my crazy requests.

Some people view it without emotion because they are not dealing with it, believe me they'd have the emotions if they were knee deep in it and there wouldn't be very many chuckles.

I've wondered about that. Things sure don't seem funny right now. When I try to explain incidences in my life to others, they observe it much differently than I do---without the emotion. So I realize when all these things are removed from me after my mother is gone, I "may" have a different viewpoint. It is all I can do right now not to feel the anger, frustration and guilt. I just hope I can come away with love and respect for my mom and myself when it's done.

NO, not a thing has been funny for me

Making transfers with a lift is tricky. I purchased a mechanical life (battery driven) which was a huge help. However, I found I had to buy a different size sling for my father to sit in. The one which came with the lift was either for a shorter man/woman. Once I had the correct size slings things went very smoothly.
But yes, lots of funny things happen when you are trying to care for an elder. My father being a construction worker, often could trouble shoot equipment problems. He actually liked contributing in this way--he would laugh and say what would you do without me??:) He maintained a good sense of humor.

You might want to see if you can purchase a battery driven lift, they are very easy to use. You can find them with a bit of luck for sale, they can be too pricey at full price and most people only use them for a yr or so .

It's fine to see the humor in caregiving. Take care of yourself.

I enjoyed your story. I got a good laugh. That's something I would do. I am trying, I just remember a long hard slog. Thank God I don't have to use mechanical devices. Thank you for sharing.