The aftermath. How have others faired?

Give yourself time. Eventually you'll run through your watchlist and get sick of chocolate and will get out and start looking around again. It didn't take five days to get to this place, and it won't take five days to pull out of it.

You have been through soooo much.

There is sadness, exhaustion, as well as grief.

Each of these will take their own time to work through.

Then, there’s the dealing with our parents, who are both still alive and aren’t, at the same time. Each visit is like a small death. I feel like every time I see my mother, I need a day to recover. It’s emotionally exhausting.

Enjoy that 🍫! 😀

You're going through a Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome of sorts, if not the full fledged version of it. If you're like me, I function perfectly THROUGH the traumatic situation, then break down AFTERWARD. That's how I cope with difficult situations. I wait till they're over with and then freak out.

It's okay to feel sad, to eat chocolate, to watch schlock TV that's mindlessly entertaining. It's okay not to feel motivated to do much of anything; you've been doing too much for too long as it is. It's like the old adage; depression isn't a sign of weakness; it's a sign of being too strong for too long. That's kind of apropos in this situation, isn't it?

Like MJ said, give yourself time. And a big pat on the back for all you DID do for your folks, whether it worked out or not. You gave it your all and that counts for a lot. Treat yourself with the grace & compassion you'd treat a good friend going through the same thing.

Wishing you the best of luck moving forward.

Honestly, I could not have gone through the last 10 months without this forum. Daily readings helped me to realize I was not crazy nor alone. Thank you!

@lealonnie1
@Riverdale
@MACinCT
@cxmoody
@JoAnn29
@Sendhelp
@MJ1929

thank you for your wisdom and encouragement.

Because we look thru rose colored glasses. The Dementia we once saw on TV was a little old lady sitting in a rocking chair staring out in space doing nothing. When in the real world you deal with paranoia, going in their pants because they don't want to wear Depends. Needing someone to bath and toilet them. And I bet Dad did nothing. They seem to have forgotten what it was like to work a job, raise kids and keep up a house and property. They become self-centered even without Dementia. And, we are usually Seniors too that lack the energy we had at 30 or 40. But they don't see it.

There's also that adage "you can't go home". Also means they can't live with you. You have changed as you have aged and so have they. They aren't the same people who raised you and you are not the same child. You are an adult now not their little girl with life experiences of your own.

Please do not feel guilt and this is someone who could at one time be made to feel guilty. I refuse to feel guilty for the decisions I made for my Mom. Or things I may have said or done out of frustrations. Patience is not my strong suit As the oldest, and a girl, out of 3 kids, the other 2 boys, I was the only one doing the work. Having Mom living here and me having to be on my toes all the time, didn't work. I felt guilty because I had to keep her in the bottom level of the house. That was were an extra bath was. Easier excess out of the house. But she just sat all day. Never did puzzles, played games or cards, reading was her thing and she couldn't do that any more. And I was not an entertainer. Daycare 3x a week helped but the AL was the best thing I ever did. Gave her the freedom to come and go. I just visited.

So, for now vegetating and eating chocolate for the last 5 days sounds good. Its OK to give yourself some downtime. Decompress.