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Should we take my mother who has alzheimer's/dementia to a party with a few of our neighbors? She does not drink, and is very sweet but of course, no short term memory. She may start "preaching" about the wine drinking. She is here visiting with us for a few weeks.

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I agree that if the gathering isn't too large and your friends are aware of your mother's dementia, go ahead and take her. Be aware, though, that she may get tired, anxious and/or agitated, so have a back up plan for someone to take her home.

Some people with dementia enjoy going out. Others are very anxious and don't enjoy it. Some of what you do will have to be based on how she is doing that day, as well. If she's like most people with dementia, she'll have some days where she's more clear than others. Days where her anxiety is worse. Go with your gut, but have a back up plan (or exit plan as Everishlass so wisely suggests). I hope you all can have some fun.
Carol
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She is visiting you? Have you taken her out and about yet? How advanced is the Alzheimer's?

Some people with Alzheimer's do OK for a brief time in mixed company. Some don't. Often the stimulation is too much for them and they can only put on their "public" face for so long before it begins to crack.

Knowing this, try it. Your mom may have a great time and it may be really good for her. But have an exit strategy if she starts to become agitated.
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I think it proper to ask your friends if they do not mind. After all, it is their party.
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You all have been so helpful! We did call the host yesterday, and she said, of course, bring her! We have a strategy that if and when she becomes agitated or in-appropriate, I will bring her back home. We only live 2 houses down from our neighbors. This forum has helped us so much in each issue we come across!
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Well, everything went very well! She was very sweet, pleasant and appropriate. All of our friends were very receiving of her and she thoroughly enjoyed just listening to all the conversations. We stayed 3 hours and she came home, took a bath and went to bed. Pooped but happy. Thank you everyone for your feedback. It really helped us!
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I am so glad I took my mom to the party, and we have that memory of it going so well. She did pass away last month. Still smiling and loving up until the very end until Jesus came and took her home!
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I shy away from most social gathering because my mother, who has dementia, tends to make negative statements about people. Before the dementia set in, my mother was extremely insecure and now it seems more so. Whenever someone doesn't agree with her she gets upsets and pouts. Needless to say, she has no friends and very few visitors.
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My sil's mom had dementia. She came to our house for Thanksgiving and Passover. She told her stories over and over again, but we knew what to expect, prepare your friends.
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That's very nice of your neighbours to be so inclusive, and so welcoming (I definitely agreed with DD that the correct thing was to run the idea past the hosts first). I hope your mother has a whale of a time. Relax and enjoy!
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I took my mom to her brother's 80th birthday party and her dementia was in a 5 level. SHe had a ball and even though she could not remember their names she knew who people were. She loved eating and seeing everyone and how everyone hugged and kissed her. She was cleaning up the dessert tables just like she did when she was younger and not with dementia. Please take your mom and you will be able to tell if it's too much. Good luck and God bless. I'm sure she will really enjoy it!
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