For 11 yrs my spouse has been treated for dementia/ Alzheimer's. Last night, for the first time in 36 years, he got angry and left the room.

I’m so sorry that you aren’t feeling well and he got upset with you. It’s obvious that you are sensitive to his needs. Glad that he got over it fairly quickly.

You can’t be chipper constantly. That’s kind of impossible, isn’t it?

These diseases are progressive. Yes, changes occur. Vent anytime and lots of people here have loved ones suffering with some form of dementia. Ask them your questions or tell them your concerns and you will get feedback.

Take care. Best wishes to you and your husband.

"...for the first time in 36 years, he got angry..."

Wow!. You have a saint of a husband. You two have a great relationship and you get along so well that you never fight or get angry.

My husband and I had two arguments in all the years we dated and have been married. We have known each other for 30 years. Each of those two arguments caused me a lot of anguish because I never want to fight with him or see him mad. So, I can understand why you are troubled by your husband's anger.

My mother is in her 3rd year of Alzheimer's. She is generous and gentle by nature. So far, she hasn't gotten aggressive or abusive except when there are strangers (old friends and relatives) come to visit. I hope the disease will not change your husband's nature and your relationship too much.

I'm so sorry to hear that...it can be sad and frustrating to hear...I used to work with a woman who's husband greeted her with a knife, chasing her down the hall when she came home from work. "Who are you? What are you doing in my house?" I'm going to kill you, he said as he chased her down the hall....
Perhaps his doctor can give him some calming medication..like with my father, they gave him ativan. He only became mean at night....but by morning he was his sweet lovable self....

I have a chronic illness and his patience with me has been overwhelmingly nice, kind, thoughtful. Now, he doesn't remember my limitations. I read many years ago that Humor was healthy. I do try to smile when I'm tired etc. because they say it changes the tone of your voice. In my mind, I try to remember what it was like raising children and grandchildren and then I have a better understanding. I feel sorry for our loved ones/friends who have these diseases. I can't imagine how they feel. Thanks for the encouragement.

Thanks for sharing. You sure have married a saint. First anger in 36 yrs? Wow.

This disease is truly horrible. As for other diseases, you know what to expect as they progress. This disease, however, is very unpredictable. My husband was also sweet and loving. But with AZ, he gets angry a lot - more episodes than I care to count. He takes Seroquel and it works ok so far.

I am sorry to hear about your husband. Pls hang in there.

My heart goes out to you as I am experiencing the same with my husband. I am reading 36 Hour Day. I ordered it from Ebay. It has been very helpful in helping me care for the person I love most in the world. Good Luck. Will be praying for you and your husband.

At some point, our loved ones with dementia get confused and frustrated. Some cry and others get angry. Seems your hubby usually rolls with the situations as they come. Wow! What great coping he has. At least you now know that when you feel "off" to talk to him more about feeling "tired" or "a little sick" so he can hopefully process it.

Dementia manifests itself differently in each person. You have to take it as it is, and expect it to change over time. I don't think it's always possible to understand why people with dementia do certain things. Their brains become unwired and they sometimes do things that seem illogical to the rest of us. You also have to take care of yourself. People with dementia can be very self-centered, and he may not understand that you also have needs. As long as he isn't violent, and gets over it, you shouldn't worry too much.

It is horrible to have mental problems - for the person and the caregiver. One never, ever knows what the mental patient is capable of doing - bad behavior will increase more and more as time goes on and some may turn violent. They will continue to cause problems and emotionally, mentally, and physically harm the caretakers who won't be able to control them forever - and if they do control them, the process can take its toll on the caretaker. I see only two possible solutions because you are NOT going to be able to fix them. Either you hire someone to take care of them and relieve you so you don't go insane or you place them where they are safe and cared for. If you value your sanity, your peace, your way of life, you must NOT allow these people to harm you and destroy who you are. You have only ONE life - don't waste it if you value it.

Love conquers all, so it has been said. My husband and I have been married 10 1/2 years. Up until 4 years ago everything was great. We camped, fished, & hunted together. We've had a very loving relationship & I tell him several times a day that I love him. He tells me that he loves me very much. After a couple of anger issues, for no reason, his Dr. put him on Seroquel which is wonderful. It calms down any anger he may have.
My best advice is to tell him you love him several times a day, even when you really don't feel like it. Get your strength from God. As we celebrate Easter, remember what Jesus did for you, ask His forgiveness & ask Him into your life.
He has promised never to leave you or forsake you. I love Jesus, He is my hope for a better tomorrow & I am loved. God bless you & heal you.

Love conquers all, so it has been said. My husband and I have been married 10 1/2 years. Up until 4 years ago everything was great. We camped, fished, & hunted together. We've had a very loving relationship & I tell him several times a day that I love him. He tells me that he loves me very much. After a couple of anger issues, for no reason, his Dr. put him on Seroquel which is wonderful. It calms down any anger he may have.
My best advice is to tell him you love him several times a day, even when you really don't feel like it. Get your strength from God. As we celebrate Easter, remember what Jesus did for you, ask His forgiveness & ask Him into your life.
He has promised never to leave you or forsake you. I love Jesus, He is my hope for a better tomorrow & I am loved. God bless you & heal you.

I am so sorry that this happened to him (and you). Prayers sent.

wow not angry in 36years...that is amazing. lucky you to have such a patient you.Sertraline is supposed to be prescribed for "major depressive disorders" ..and other psychiatric disorders. The list of side effects is long, and dangerous..
Although its prescribed for depression typically (not agitation ie anxiety) it can and often does cause depression, agitation, etc etc. You can google the side effects
You might consider giving him a teaspoon of moringa powder before breakfast and lunch in a little water. Its the highest plant ive found in vitamins and minerals. And won't interact with any other meds he's on.
2x 250mg magnesium citrate caps after dinner will help to calm him and help him sleep well. And once you build up his nutrition with the above i suggest you slowly but surely get him off that toxic drugs....a little at a time. You can buy a pill cutter at the pharmacy..cut it down by 1/4 every 7 days. The magnesium will relieve the anxiety. You could buy Calm powder for magnesium if he doesn't like taking the caps..it tastes very good and fizzes in water. You might take both of the above for yourself also. You can google and/or youtube for the benefits...and No side effects of wholesome foods (herbs are foods)
Congratulations on your long and loving marriage :)

I pray for God to help me, give me strength and wisdom each day. This disease is so unpredictable. My dear husband can be so loving one minute, start crying the next, and is VERY demanding of my time. If I'm in another room he constantly asks me what I'm doing. I don't know how I will be able to cope if he becomes incontinent. It is something I dread as I have neuropathy, therefore I do not have alot of strength. I've started doing exercises for my legs. He wants me by his side 24/7 but does not want the TV on. He just wants to talk about the same things over and over and over. Dear Jesus help me!! We just need to take one day at a time & keep trusting the Lord.

No anger for thirty six years, he must be easy going. You are so fortunate. Some live with anger for many years while caregiving. I do not know how they do it, really. I am fortunate my mother is very easygoing, unless she is not feeling, a UTI, then she has may have a personality change, confusion, fussiness and sometimes anger. Suggest taking one day at a time, soothing music, and pray daily.

I've been off the computer for a while, and I just reviewed these comments. Thank you all for commenting. I've picked up some helpful information. One nice thing is that he loved fried fish, french fries, coleslaw and hush-puppies. Now, I can get away with baked fish and rice. Yum he says. Always a positive to find in such illnesses.