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My mother passed away 6 months ago and put both my sister and myself as executor to her estate. Being that I live in another state I relinquished my executor role and let her and her husband be sole executor. Finally after 8 months of waiting for our inheritance we were given most of the money and that worked out well, but the problem is that there was one investment that they told me I was sharing 50/50 benificiary with them. They sent me the bank paper that I needed to sign to release the funds and they put my sister and my joint account on that document. I sensed they were hiding something and I called the bank only to find out I am the benificiary 100 percent. I called them on it and since then they have tried every tactic to justify it including telling me they have rights to it, they deserve it. My sister has gone from being angry screaming I dont trust them to the next day crying saying she has been carrying the load for years in the family. Then now they are saying they need to keep that money to pay taxes next year on the money we received. I mostly hate the manipulation and deceit they are displaying. Now my husband and I are fighting because my sister has bullied me into agreeing about the holding onto that tax money. My husband wants me to tell them where to go and to not give the a cent. Up until now I had a very close relationship with my sister and brother in law.. I feel my sister has ruined our family for a very long time. I dont think I can every feel comfortable again around them because of how manipulative they have been. My sister did do a lot for my mother as I moved away 18 years ago from them but my mother was independent and maintained her own home. She took care of me when I was ill for 8 months in her home and didnt charge me a cent. I can't forget that she was so good to me but that doesn't justify their behavior. I am tired of being a doormat but somehow I let myself be talked into signing that paper with our joint account and I sent it to them.

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What a pity you weren't on hand doing the everyday work of caring for somebody who's had a stroke. Then you could have seen for yourself how important it is to be able to pay the person's bills and buy supplies through her own bank account; and you would know first hand what those bills amounted to and how much was left over at the end of each month; and you could even have clarified the family tree for the hospital. And made a detailed inventory of the household goods while you were at it.

What are you expecting? Do you want your money back? How much of what you kindly contributed to your mother's later years do you calculate was not spent directly on her upkeep and welfare?
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My sister is the executor of my mothers estate, but my mother after she had a stroke, was taken down to the bank by my sister and was made to put her on my mothers bank account. I gave my mother a large amount of money to retire on plus my check was going into her acct for 10 years. now has hired this lawyer rated 1 star, and I know why, he's underhanded sneak. anyway he called me an said that I have no rights to the money in the bank since it rolled over to my sister. she was never on the acct until months before she had her second stroke. this lawyer she hired has done nothing for me, she told the hospital that she was an only child. that says what she's about. don't know what to do at this point. nothing she has done is on the up/up. I was told by her attorney that she does not have to produce a detailed inventory of all my mothers household items. really? she went into the house with out me there as to witness whats in the house she had her friends in house going through all her things.
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It's "nice" that you do not want your sister to get in any trouble, but, I think she broke all the rules - both legally and form the standpoint of common decency - and walked all over your "niceness." You don't have to call the cops on her but maybe you should get an attorney and have them do a family meeting with a little confrontation to encourage greedy, abusive Sis to do the right thing. Quit being too nice for your own good, if not for your own good, then at least so your Mom's wishes can be given some respect.
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Number 1, your sister couldn't designate herself POA. Power of Attorney could only be created by your mother, appointing your sister. If your mother was incapacitated at the time then it is hard to see how this POA was created; but if you checked and the POA was properly drawn up then they must have found a way.

2, the only way to remedy what has gone on without getting your sister into trouble is to rewind to 2014 and share the caregiving burden and the administration of finances. So, what do you want your sister to do now to remedy the situation herself? It boils down, really, to telling her your price for silence. But I don't think that's quite what you meant, is it.
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I actually do not have an answer for this. I believe that family she be honest and truthful. Open communication is important.

I actually have my own situation. My sister designated herself as the power of attorney 2014 after my mother's stroke do to complications to a planned procedure. That decision was never discussed between my brother and I but, nevertheless she's the oldest sibling, 40 years old at the time, un-employed with kidney disease, lives with my mother and without a family of her own. During the last 3 years my sister has been the primary care giver for my mother. Under her condition she has done a good job. During the time of my Mother's rehab, I was with her everyday coaching her to improved health. Her health took a down turn with several smaller strokes and it became apparent the my Mom plateau to a new health standard. My sister assumed the responsibility to bring our Mother home to care for her. My brother and I expressed our concerns but did not object as I assumed her love and care would be more pleasant than in a facility. Truth is, she needed my mother to come home to care for her as she would not be able to financially survive without her. I visited every weekend and we spent all holidays at my home to enjoy our Mother.

Fast forward to more resent times. My sister has been pushing out a bad public image of my brother and I as though we are putting on a show for witnesses. Needless to say the truth always comes out. She, as the power of attorney converted our Mother's Deferred Comp ( 401k) into an IRA account, has taken out $10K upon doing so and named herself 100% beneficiary to the account. After that, she has been bleeding the account to where half of the initial money is left in there. She has taken out $24k last year along with $14k being taken out in just October. The sad news is that our Mother suffered another major stroke that ultimately took her life in in-home hospice care where all three of us provided care around the clock.

After her death, my sister said that she had "no money" to bury our Mother. I did what I had to do and covered the necessary expenses to be paid back when the business aspects are in order so we all may give our Mother a dignified funeral.

Now is when many truths are coming to light! My sister never said when she changed over our Mother's account and DEFINITELY left out the part where she named herself the sole beneficiary. My sister inherited the all of the real estate (her name is on the property) where she lived with my mother and she is contently lying about how much money she has taken out of the IRA account, the cost of the mortgage ( she doubled the price) and whether or not our Mother has any bank accounts and the amount of money in them. In flat, I'm a disgusted about my sister's deceit. She has abused her power of attorney in which the abuse has all of the elements. She loved our Mother and us as well but, she is manipulative, spiteful and deceitful. Not only would our Mother not want for our sister to write us out of benefiting from her 401k but furthermore, she had several strokes which negatively affected her cognition. Our Mother knew the gravity of the medical procedure she was going to have and DID have her business affairs in order. This is why the action and timing is inconsistent

I say all of this to say, I love my sister and would not want anything bad to happen to her. With that said, she committed fraud in which she didn't care about my brother and nor our children! How, if any way is there a way to remedy this without my sister getting in trouble?
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The point is not what you or your siblings/relatives or anyone else for that matter thinks you should get. The point is what did the official will say that was presented to probate court. In addition - how were bank accounts, securities, real property or personal property titled. Even if the will says I want my money to go to such and such but the bank account etc. is actually titled in someone else's name - well that is where it's going. The only thing someone can do is to contest the action and let a judge decide - in most cases he is going to go with the how the asset was titled. If titled in parent name only - then it will be distributed as per will; if titled in parent and a child or sibling with no mention of other heirs - then the sibling on the title/deed is the new owner. When selecting an executor - we have to make sure we choose someone we know will stand up for what is stated on the documents executed by loved ones. It wasn't our decision nor our money - it was theirs and you have to abide by that decision. If you cared for your relative and you are concerned about recovery of money lost in income etc while you cared for them - address it up front with parent, etc. This isn't being greedy if done in the correct way - the rest of your life will be affected by the loss of the income you give up to care for a loved one for what can be years and years. If you are the executor or another heir - make sure a final accounting is done of the estate along with a copy of the will. This is part of your fiduciary responsibility and can prevent a lot of speculation in the future and hard feeling. Now - after distribution is made from the estate to the heirs as per the will, there isn't anything to prevent the beneficiaries from giving up part or all of their money to another individual or charity for that matter. We have to go by the will or titled assets - you may wonder why your parent, etc. did what they did. Sometimes you know and sometimes you don't. Many times, they just never got around to making a will period or never made the changes they wanted to; however, legally you can't decide what you think is right or should be right.....you have to go by the legal situation as presented.
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My sister was busy raising her family when my mom began a lengthy and hard illness. I moved from my apartment to her and dad's home to help my dad care for her. He had been showing signs of Alzheimer's, but refused to get it diagnosed and fought me at every turn in attempting to get my mom to the proper doctors. When she passed away, he was in ICU 6 weeks later. He wanted to die because he missed my mom, but he made it and had a lengthy convalescence. After his second wife passed, he was at the moderate to severe stage or Alzheimer's and his stepdaughter and her family were being abusive toward him and taking advantage of his finances. My sister and I helped him move back to his and mom's home and I moved in to care for him. Everyone thought he would die quickly, but because of my health experience and being able to manage his finances and hiring caregivers while I was at work and caring for him from 6p to 8a, he lived an additional 4.5 years. Most of it was good, but there were bad times with his health and numerous hospital runs and stays. Although my sister lived less than 2 hours away, everything was left for me to do. I lost 2 years total of work time caring for my parents as well as giving up my annual and sick leave to care for my dad. I make 20% of what my sister and brother-in-law made during this time. And since their divorce, I make 1/3 of what my sister makes. When dad died, we had a joint account for taking care of the house and to make repairs. I have my own home and mortgage and bills to pay for, but kept dad's house up too. She expected me to do this with my own money. She told me that even though dad put the house to both of us, that I could have the house as I had cared for my parents when she was not willing or able. Now that she is divorced she wants the house sold and wants her share. I have witnesses who are not family who would be willing to testify in court, IF she takes me to court...but the trust says that if one of us contest, then that person is out. I was hospitalized for a long while this past summer and near death. My sister finally came to see me and stayed at dad's house. My neighbors saw both her and her husband loading up his SUV with boxes of stuff. Apparently, she also took the trust book, which I have never kept from her. Now, I cannot do anything as the deed to the house is in the trust, but I have no proof that I am the trustee.
I think that caring for my parents was the right thing to do and that even though I have witnesses who heard my parents say the house would be mine for caring for them, my sister should have some, but not half of the money. She is my beneficiary and will get it all and more when I die and my health is precarious. I think under normal circumstances she would generally agree to let me do what I plan to do with the house, but she has a gambling and legal prescription problem and will not admit it or accept help. I am to the point where I don't care if she gets the entire house. It's an albatross around my neck. I pay the taxes and insurance, but my relationship with her for these last few years is more important. I just wish she would help me with the bills. I don't know what the right answer is...my heart says one thing...my head another. I am sorry you are going through such times with your sibling when you are both orphans and alone except for your spouse and kids. You are lucky that you have a family of your own. And your husband should keep out of it. It isn't about him. My sister's husband constantly stuck his nose in hers and my differences and it only made for hard feelings and longer times to get over our issues.
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So sorry for you having to fight for even a fraction of what appears should have been yours, no question!! All I can think is try another legal route, maybe someone would take it on contingency or there is a pro bono option. I googled "how long close estate in colorado" and there might be some answers. If it is too late, it is too late, and you have our sympathy, for what that's worth.
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And exactly how long does a person have before they have to close the Estate up here in Colorado ? Since my mother passed away in July 2014 I need to find out I hope some one can answer it for me.
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And even my mother WILL states it clearly in it that ALL Money in her savings, and checking accounts or was to be split up between her grand kids , the great grand kids wasn't mentioned in the will it self just my mothers grand kids which includes my sisters kids and my kids. My sister and I wasn't allowed to have any of the money at all. Its plainly states it. I dug it out the Will and looked at it. So by her keeping the 20 grand for herself she wasn't allowed to have it in the beginning. As I see it she stolen it from our mothers estate , and now I wish I could take her back to court but that takes money and that I don't have.
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Done been on family Counseling , even my kids have been there as well , we just got screwed over by another family member who needs to stay on her meds .....
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To Vstefans & Pamstegma ,I know already I been screwed out of a lot by my sister , My lawyer was the lawyer that handled it There was a conflict of interest I used the same lawyers as my parents did in other things, My sister is down right greedy she wants 3/4's of every thing and also 1/2 of mine that I gotten on my own. only 5 ways she could get it 1- if I died, 2- if I don't carry house insurance, 3- if it burns down she will be paid off of what the lawyer said plus she will still get the land the one in town and the one I own out in the country side its was combined together. 4-if I am in a nursing home or handed over to the state in which I live in , or 5- I am convicted of a felony , and believe me she has already tried them on me, we haven't really been family for 55 years and I am 58 now. She has pulled every stunt she could pull off in order to get what mom has left me even thou she got the same amount right next door to me she got two lots and a house as well , as well as I did she is down right greedy and I mean greedy. She has even tried to do me harm . The law slaps her on the wrist and tells her that is a no-no and she is free on it. I tried to buy her off of the place I am in now she don't want to sell it she wants it , the way my mom set it up was she couldn't sell her half with out my half, I cant sell my half with out her half its messed up but that is how she sat it up before she passed away. My mom held prime land in our town and there is a huge price tag on it IF we sell it , but she don't want to split it up she wants it for herself. That's how greedy she has become . I am also and Retired LPN. But I do know I am screwed because of what she has done and is doing and maybe what she will try in the future. And after reading what other's have written on here about what is close to what I am going threw right now with her. And one other thing its gets worse when I was put on disability SSDI she was trying to get my SSDI as well she is in controlling people and what they have. She is down right EVIL person there is nothing good on her at all..
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mskitty, unless you have a crystal ball, what makes you believe you will die before your sister does? Nobody knows what the future holds. Anything can happen between now and then. Make an offer to buy out her half if that is what you want.
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Ms Kitty - see the answers above, if the account was OD (Payable on Death) to your sister, she legally gets it. Morally, of course this is terrible. And, it does not sound fair about the house - but either you lawyer up, with as good or better of a lawyer as your sister, or you forget it and live with it. You know sometimes they define "lawyer" as a professional whose job it is to protect clients from other members of the same profession. :-)
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My mom passed away in july 2014 in which my sister and I was both executor's of her will. We went to the place that the lawyers drawn up there Wills at, the grand kids hers and mine kids was to get the money of the estate. it was to be split up between all 7 kids. BUT not all the money was split up between them our mom had another checking account with 20 grand in it , my sister took the money for herself. My kids didn't get any of it. She also wasn't the POA on the medical part I was when they was in route of coming home on a trip to texas she made and emergency stop in Santa Fe N.M. I had to fax my moms papers records down to the hospital, it stated I was her POA on them , My sister claimed that it was her and that my mom only had one child meaning her. which is not so I was very much involved as well. Then upon the lawyer we had to see on helping us close the estate here in Colorado I used moms account which my name was on it as well to pay all her debts off and closing of the account my sister used the money to get her way with the lawyer meaning the house that my mom left to me she gets half of it. and upon me passing on she gets the house. My kids don't get it and I cant pass it down to any of them. this is going on the 3 year and her estate isn't closed yet What do I do ?
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If the account was held jointly, with rights of survivorship, and held by your mother and your sister who's the executrix, and it passed to your sister on your mother's death, then it would be hers, UNLESS there was contradictory language in the Will.

Is the $800K ($200K for your executrix sister and $200K for each of the other 3 of you)? in this account? Or is it the value of real property?

How it's held and as what kind of an asset makes a different in whether or not it's taxable. And there's also the issue of language in the Will providing that funds be divided 4 ways.

I think you're right to query whether this would be considered a gift or an inheritance, but I think it depends not only on the Will's language but on legal issues which are beyond me.

I do think this is a question for a estate planning attorney, and would turn on whether or not funds held jointly and passed on the successors are to be considered assets of the Estate, or if they passed directly to your sister who as you query is gifting it to you.

I really don't know, but just wanted to support your concern.

Do you have an attorney of your own? If not, perhaps your sister could ask her attorney to issue an opinion for the heirs on the taxability of the funds.
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Our mother passed away but her will stated all monies were to be divided equally among her 4 living children. Sister who never married but always lived at home was executor of will. She was also on mothers bank accounts. She got a lawyer and said all monies were hers since joint account. Now she says she will gift is our part of the estate about 200,000.00 each. Will this be taxable if she gives as a gift rather than from the estate of?
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My sister is a liar, manipulator and a greedy thief. She has stolen money from our Grandmother and then stole from me through being executor of Grandma's will. She just didn't pay one of the attys and kept the money for herself. The first time she stole Grandma's money was when Grandma made told my sister she wanted her to sign onto my Grandma's bank account in case anything happened to my Grandma.. . then my sister would be able to get the money she needed to help my Grandma with her care. (such as an accident, stroke etc. ) My sister and I are very low income, and my Grandma knew that. So that is why she wanted my sister to be on her bank account. So guess what my sister did?? Not too long later she started taking money out of my Grandma's bank account, via the computer. All she had to do was transfer it to her own account. She took somewhere between 12,000 and 19,000 dollars. There are more things my sister has done that were greedy and underhanded. She is downright creepy. Anyway, now she is executor of my Mom's small estate. I don't want her to have the right to do that, because duhhh, I don't trust her at all. My Mom passed away only a few days ago and my sister is already withholding information from me and being rude. What can I do? I am more than likely in the will. I believe it is still the same as it was when my Mom and Dad told me about it decades ago.. . and that is that my rude, mean, thief sister gets 1/3 of the sale of my Mom's home, I get 1/3 and my stepsister (who never sees or speaks to any of us) but took plenty of money from my Mom when my Mom was alive gets 1/3. Should I get my own attorney? A mediator? Try to get my stop my sister from being executor? Please help
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no it was one of the above answers got me thinking is it not protected those polices i thought it would be inposible to take some one elses money
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4500, I'm not aware of banks holding assets other than what might be in a client's safety deposit box. It's not their responsibility though to disburse assets other than by specific direction of a trustee or executor.

What makes you suspect the executor is hiding insurance policies? Are you specifically aware of these hidden policies?

There's obviously more to this situation than you've written. What's going on?
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if there are insurence policys out side a will then can the executor hide them from benificiarys, or would the bank now of them holding the asets to the will
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dad's grandson tried to do the same thing but dad wouldn't do it
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Oh its quite easy CM a great aunt of mine died and the executor was my mother's cousin. Now for reasons some of you might guess I loathe this man and he died not having served time for some things he did BUT that has nothing to do with this.

My aunt had some pictures which he 'sold' and we had receipts for them but what we didn't know is that he sold them to a woman he was about to marry...needless to say a lot of money was lost that way. Ditto some of the jewellery. She had a cellar full of original just post WW2 and WW2 stuff everything that you might need in the event of WW3 to be fair. I only know because as a teenager the place fascinated me.

Uncle was sure we would be at war again and he wasn't taking chances!

Everything was neatly kept on shelves and was in pristine condition because uncle wrapped everything in muslin and then covered it with dust sheets....one day of the week he used to go down dust through and check it and I loved those days. I can't imagine what those things were worth. Original unused mangle, washing copper. My favourite was an old well that had been put there after plumbing was installed. I had no idea whether it worked - Uncle said it did and it had one of those pump handles that would draw the water up - not sure where from but there it was off to one side. It was a fascinating place Dozens of oil lamps all shiny and as original (they were all bought new). It was like time stopped down there. Gas masks, tin hats, bottles of wine and spirits all laid down and turned every so often. Iron bedsteads, armoires with shelf upon shelf of real linen bed linen. Towels that had never been out of their paper packets all that was apparently 'donated' to a museum - we never saw receipts for those!

Their house was built a very long time ago when prison officers weren't safe to walk home from their job and there was a blocked up tunnel that went all the way to the prison so their cellar was HUGE. It had a massive gate, beyond which you could see the brickwork where the tunnel was bricked up.

God knows what it all was worth but I do know that of the three inheritors mum received 2000 pounds - allegedly all the rest went on care fees - I never believed him for one moment especially when he bought his daughter a house the very next year!
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In what way did your sister try to take more than her fair share? If you were the executor of your mother's will, I'm curious about what form her attempts can have taken.
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Usually the "loser" in the family thinks they are due more than the other siblings. I have a sister who has a sh*tty life and when our Mom died she tried to take more than her fair share just because she thought she deserved more than me. Thank goodness I was the executor (even though I'm the youngest). My Mom knew which one of us was trustworthy. It's been years now, my life is better than ever, and my sister the "loser" continues to live her sh*tty life.
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Good luck with recovering your inheritance. I'm a Viet Nam Vet and in the forty six years since my brother and one of two sisters took care of my mother after my father died in 1993. My one sister has always lived on the property my mother owned but she made it hard for my brother, sister and I to help my mother. When my father died my sister intimidated my mother into signing the property over to her and making her executor of the estate.

My brother, sister and I never knew this because I had told my mother to open up a trust account and they would handle everything for her. My mother agreed but my other sister had other thoughts/plans and had my mother sign everything over to her before we could get my mother to open the trust account.
Remember that this started in 1993 after my fathers death.

With that said and at this point, my sister started to spend my mothers retirement and pension, had the house signed over to her, changed the will, cleared out my mother and my joint account and made sure my brother, sister and I got nothing. My mother died in 2005 at age 92. We are talking about a $1.5 million dollar and five different property inheritance lost to my sister. Shame on her but I still love her because that is what my mother would have wanted me to do. My brother died broke and my other sister is sick and I put my faith in God to handle it his way. God bless you girl with your problem.
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brothermurf, I'm not sure who you're responding to, but if the op - which this is old but anyway - they've already gotten the funds; they're not talking about taxes due by the estate, but taxes due by the heirs, as in regular income taxes, although not entirely sure any should be due, as seems they would be considered estate taxes, at least I didn't understand I had to pay any on what I inherited so I think there's something going on with the sister but either way it should be settled by now one way or the other
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This is easy. Do what the will says and follow the probate courts direction. The estate should pay all taxes due before the money is distributed. Were these funds listed on the estate inventory? Why not. All assets need to have gone through the purview of a probate court. An executor is only a facilitator. Not a decision maker.
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she wants him to sell his/your house?
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My husband is having similar problems. Both he and his sister were named as executors of the will. His sister lived with my mother in law at the time of her death, so she knew where everything was. She insisted there was no will, no money. There is a trust that names my husband as 100% share of a rental property. Two months down the line his sister comes by with a copy of a pour over will and trust. Now she wants him to sign a waiver because the will also states he gets 25% per capita, theres four people named but she says the house is hers because she lived with her parents and its sentimental to the two others BUT the house was in reverse mortgage and they were expecting my husband to sell his property to save the house. Bottom line shes trying to screw them all out of whatever she can she has the house and everything in it, two cars and refuses to to part with anything. It has caused many arguments between myself and my husband he has no clue that everything shes done has been illegal and because his family has pegged him as an a-hole for not agreeing to sell he wont fight them because he feels bad. He needs a lawyer family or not shes not worried about losing him so screw her too..He has a daughter going to med school I told him to think about her future not theirs. Stop feeling sorry for greedy people..........LAWYER UP PEOPLE
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