Sister and brother-in-law coming home for holidays. Any advice?
Sis is helping out a bit more regarding taking mom to the doctors office which is a great help to me. She said that she has been feeling so guilty so thats why she is doing it. She and her husband are still very nasty to me. So last year they said at Christmas that this will be their last Christmas up here with mom and me as they want to start spending the holidays with her husbands family and grandchildren. We were all relieved about this. So I asked my ex-husband if he would like to come over this year and he said yes. Prior to this year my sis said that if he was coming they would not be here and of course mom wanted sis which makes sense. Anyway so yesterday they were up here and stated that they were going to be coming up for Thanksgiving this year and I was shocked and said why? BIL son is having 20 plus people over there and they do not want to go now so because they have no where else to go they want to come here. I told her my ex was coming and she says oh thats ok. Then I told her I would have to talk to my sons who do not speak to her after all the bad behavior that she put us all through over the last year. She has been doing this to me my whole life and frankly I do not want them here at all. I told her I have to talk to my sons because it is up to them, its either her or them and if they won't come then I will cook dinner at my kids house. She said oh I will buy the turkey. Really? Then she says after all I have done for those kids I will just cut them out of my will. (its always about money and has been) I said well you already cut out my younger son months ago because he was sticking up for me and mom. As far as I am concerned she has burned all her bridges with my family and there is no amount of money that can change this. So here I was looking forward to a peaceful holiday and now I am not sure what the boys will say as its up to them. I will tell them I do not want her here but if they say its ok then I will try once again to make peace. Any advice?
You do not have to give a reason....If she calls and demands one, you could say, "Let me get this straight...you want a reason for us to not have you come on the holiday, right?" She answers, "Absolutely." You answer, "I understand what you want." Then change the subject and refuse to revisit it..
The feeling of self empowerment is worth it to me.
then came the gifts, OMG what to get for whom, and this was before computers were invented which meant actually going to the store or mailing off an order from a catalog and hoped it would come in time.... then wrapping all the gifts, oops got to get more wrapping paper and tape [oh no, OCD kicking in again can't decide on what pattern wrapping paper], standing in line at the post office and mailing those gifts out of town, this was also before the invention of gift cards....
then hubby would get a tree, his Christmas holiday chore was done :P
I had to decorate the tree, and run to the store for more decorations [here we go again with the OCD].... then clean the house for company, hubby thought what was the big deal, just put on fresh sheets.... [rolling eyes].... guess rooms clean themselves along with the bathrooms... and the cats changed their own litter....
I forgot to mention, I was working full-time....
then run to the grocery store, bake cookies, get meals planned, I hated cooking, I was NOT Martha Stewart, greet the guest, show them the guest rooms... and hubby wondered why I wasn't enjoying the holidays.... HELLO !!!!
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