I know this should probably be an easy answer, but there's a few ways this could go especially COVID going on.
I've written in here before but it's been quite a while. I hope everyone is doing well. I've been one of the caregivers for both my grandparents for a few years along with my mom since we're both in the same city and it's been a lot. My grandfather died last week, almost 2 years to the day that he started falling ill and we placed him in a facility.
We're planning the funeral which can't happen until next week. There's a public visitation which will have a limit (it actually was just modified to allow us more people), social distancing, masks, etc. The next day there will be the graveside service and I believe a brief small service at the funeral home beforehand.
There's also an option for a live stream and I've been told that this may be the best option for my grandmother to watch at home with someone with her of course. I totally understand this, but I also feel like she should see him and say goodbye, especially since she hasn't been able to see him in a very long time. Also, while she did get a little emotional when we broke the news, I'm not sure how she will be if she sees him in person and I also worry it may be too much for her. So I'm torn on what would be the best option.
What would you do?
So, if she wants to see him one last time, ask for a private viewing. Depending on how strong she is physically, ask her if she'd like to attend the service/burial as well. I also would recommend avoiding a gathering after the fact. Too many people increases the chance of catching the virus. Unclear how old she is, but my mother doesn't like others wearing the masks around her and trying to keep one on her is nigh impossible!
whether or not to go to any or all of it.
Whatever she decides, be supportive but reasonable because I'm guessing getting Grandma out may not be an easy task.
If she goes, enlist one or two others to help you, including creating a buffer from others, even well meaning family. Inform whoever's attending that Grandma will not be socializing with them as much as they want to pay their respects. Maybe she would like alone time with her husband also.
Talk to the funeral home people because they may be able to assist- private space for her and keep her safe.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
May God grant you all grieving mercies and strength during this difficult time.
I agree with the others, let grandma decide what she wants to do without coercion.
My grandparents were married over fifty years and they loved each other dearly but she did not attend his funeral.
Grandma simply couldn’t bear to see him in a casket. Some people thought it was awful that she didn’t go. I understood completely how she felt.
Covid has complicated everything. Nothing feels normal. It is hard to adjust to any of this. If she goes, take all precautions to keep her safe.
I am so sorry for your loss.