He is currently going through chemo and has fallen at least 5 or 6 times in the house. He lost weight and is very weak from the side effects of chemo. Three to 4 days after chemo he can't stand on his feet and doesn't sleep well. He is not making rational decisions. Recently my daughter drove with him and he was weaving on the road although he got where they were going.
I'm very concerned being his POA.
Please advise.
Joe
Giving up driving privilege is something many elders fight against. It is a loss of
freedom and mobility. Make sure it's his doctor or the motor vehicle department who gives the order for him to stop driving.
Be sensitive to his needs and his desire to get around by offering to drive him or setting up a ride app and showing him how to use it, or do it for him, so he doesn't feel suddenly panicked that he is unable to go where he needs.
Make it an easy transition for him.
Show him how easy it can be to order groceries and virtually anything else online to be delivered to his front door. It could be a relief for him to know how to get what he needs and get around without driving.
The days Mark had immunotherapy and I couldn't get off work, a shuttle took him to and from appointments. Medicare paid for nine rides a year.
Would you ride with him?
I am guessing no.
From what you have described he does not sound safe at this time.
I say that because some of this might be caused by his current treatment. If he has not had problems previously it might be related. Meaning once he has completed treatment and regains strength he might be a safe driver. That remains to be seen. For now I would say he should not drive.
You can ask his doctor to say that for now he should not be driving.
I am not one to say that just because of a persons age they should not drive. There are ways to evaluate a driver and that should be done before he drives again.
Best of luck to you.
you came to that part about weaving on the road.
So no, of COURSE he should not now be driving. However, if he is not demented you POA means nothing whatsoever now, does it? He is still in charge of his own choices.
So it is now time for the honest sit-down--which goes something like this:
"Dad. Myra told me that when you and she were out in the car the other day she noted you were weaving in the road. She was quite frightened for you both, as well as for others on the road with you. Don't be mad at her, because she's terribly concerned for you.
You know, Dad, that chemo stuff effects everything, your body, your reflexes, your strength, and most of all it can give people a sort of "brain fog" they call it. Which can make driving really dangerous no matter HOW old you are.
I am going to ask you Dad, now to give up driving while you are on this chemo. Then let's go out together and see how it goes for you? And if we have questions we can let the DMV decide with a driving test. Because this isn't safe.
I don't want to step on your toes here. But I hope you are considerate enough to know you don't want to end your life having hurt your granddaughter, or another driver on the road. I hope you will agree with me.
Now if Dad is adamant you have some decisions to make. I would start those decisions with a trip to the DMV to speak with them. I would go to his doctor as well to report this. They may intervene.
Your POA is useless for someone who is competent under the law.
You have your voice.
You have the hope your father is a decent enough human being to think about others if he doesn't care much about himself at this point.
I can only wish you the best. Not everything can be fixed. But granddaughter needs not to be in that car anymore, and that goes for everyone else as well.