I'm helping to take care of a grandparent nearing 100 who is a racist and narcissist and rude and hateful about people they see as overweight. They are nice and appreciative to me but I can't stand how they speak about others, yet I bite my tongue because I know they are mentally past changing attitudes. In the meantime I've lost two much loved, sweet and kind relatives. I resent the fact that they didn't have as many years to live while someone who is not as nice is still kicking. I don't know how to get past this... anyone else feel this way? What helps?