My father is refusing urgent medical care "for God". How can I make sure he's not rapidly declining?

The wide door to Nirvana/Heaven/Next Stage/etc is always wide open. Those who do not fear and consciously determine is their moment and choice to make should be given wide berth. Those who for emotional reasons/financial/moralistic/etc etc take it upon themselves to insist on what someone else’s path should or should not be, regardless of their good intentions, have to sooner or later come to terms with the solidarity of the self. A person with a sound mind, regardless of their age, should be ultimately responsible with their lives. Some get tired of hanging around, specially when truly loved and special people in their world have already departed, and may, longingly, to join them. Of course life is for those who want to live it! Each day a true miracle and a blessing, so I am not being disrespectful in any sense of the word. La vida por la vida! Best of wishes!

A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.
Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, "Jump in, I can save you."
The stranded fellow shouted back, "No, it's OK, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me."
So the rowboat went on.
Then a motorboat came by. "The fellow in the motorboat shouted, "Jump in, I can save you."
To this the stranded man said, "No thanks, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith."
So the motorboat went on.
Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, "Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety."
To this the stranded man again replied, "No thanks, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith."
So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.
Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, "I had faith in you but you didn't save me, you let me drown. I don't understand why!"
To this God replied, "I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"

Pastor Joseph Prince has spoken about how getting medical care doesn't negate your Faith. You can find the sermons on YouTube. Remind him that God uses doctors and nurses as agents of His Mercy.

You can try reading verses from the Bible where Jesus healed blindness, and the fact that blindness is not a 'gift from God' like he claims. I think you should arrange a doctor's appointment without telling him and order for him to be tested. The chances are that he should probably have treatment without delay. Maybe he thinks there's nothing the doctors can do for him and he has given up. I would still arrange for treatment and don't tell him about it. He sounds very stubborn and he refuses to admit that he needs treatment right away. You might want to try arranging a social visit on the same day of his appointment so he won't think he's just going to the doctor's office.

Accept your father's faith. Be prepared to accept you may grieve before he may depart and feel no guilt if you do so. Faith can be a powerful emotion so allow him to have it meanwhile understanding your faith/experience may differ. If you are in USA, know that laws protect elderly to an extent that sometimes seem an over reach.

FairyStars: Call 9-1-1.

FairyStars: Imho, that is sad that your father's fear of medical treatment is based on his wife's cancer. Perhaps his priest can intervene. Best wishes.

Get him a Plenary Indulgence issued by the church! Once dad feels he's forgiven for sin here on Earth, now, and after having gone to confession, he may THEN be willing to see the doctor.

https://www.ewtn.com/catholicism/devotions/conditions-13362

I collect these Indulgences which are so important to a number of Catholics that they're framed and hung in a prominent location inside the home. Many of them are also quite beautifully ornate with their detailed artwork, a real treasure!

Talk to your parish priest about getting one issued. And having the priest himself talk to dad, and giving him Last Rites/Extreme Unction if need be, complete with the large cross, holy water and all the rest of the contents. That may be the wake up call dad needs to decide it's not time to be with Lord just yet.

Good luck!

As a 70 year old myself..I think everyone has the right to choose what medical involvement they want. We can not force people into care. If you truly believe he is mentally unstable and unable to direct his own life there is a court way to take over his life. I believe it is called directorship. Personally I would step back and avoid the conversation. Debating this just prolongs the fight. He may get scared and ask you for help. PS: my brothers 65 yr old wife also refused medical care and after a few years she collapsed and died in the hospital 7 days later. My brother did everything he could to convince her to see a doctor..she refused.He felt she was mentally stable and able to make her own decisions. It broke his heart.

Would he have a sight check with an Optician rather than trying to get him to the Doctor. Most elderly people (over the age of 40) wear glasses, so an optician appointment to check his glasses must be something he is used to and maybe wouldn't fight against so much. An optician will be able to see any issues with the eye and hopefully arrange for him to see someone specific if needed straight away after the appointment with them.

Does he have a personal physician? If he does, will he go to his physician for an annual "wellness" visit, rather than urgent care. His eyes and woosiness might be due to some other condition (diabetes comes to mind). Regular tests will find out if this is the case. Does he go to church? Can you enlist the priest to counsel him that it is good religious practice to go to the doctor and keep himself well?

Here's a modern day parable:

A flood is expected in town, and Mr. Townsend, a very religious man has turned to God to save him. In the morning, a person from Social Services comes by telling him they're there to help people evacuate the town. Mr. Townsend refuses to leave and says he is praying to God, and believes that God will save him.

Hours later, the waters have reached his waist, and he sees the fire-department in a boat outside of his house telling him they're there to evacuate him from the rising waters. Mr. Townsend again refuses to leave, saying that his undying devotion to God will save him.

A few hours later, the town levees have burst, and Mr. Townsend is forced by the rising waters to seek refuge outside on his own roof top. A coast-guard helicopter spots him, and one of the crew gets lowered down to him among the howling winds and rain and says he's here to save him. Again, Mr. Townsend says, "I don't need you to save me, God will do that" and refuses to be taken.

Within minutes, the rising waters become too much, he is swept off his roof and into the raging waters where Mr. Townsend eventually drowns.
Up in heaven, Mr. Townsend meets God and angrily says to Him: "I feel so betrayed, I put all my faith in You, and yet you did nothing to save me!"

To which God replies, "But I sent you Social Services, the Fire Department and the Coast Guard, and you refused them every time."

That's the version of the story I always tell, but I've been thinking, another ending to that story could have been that Mr. Townsend drowns, but is perfectly content, knowing that God was with him the whole time, and when he sees God, is at peace knowing that his faith DID save him.

Dear God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

Has he talked to his pastor? Practicing his religion means that God expects him to use normal prudence in protecting his health - his life is a gift of the Holy Spirit and he should respect that.

Maybe your father just wants to go be with his wife and so he doesnt want to do anything to prolong his life. Therefore his response......"I trust God."

FairyStars, how are things going?